InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drifting ❯ Shards ( Chapter 6 )

Shards

 

Kagome crawled out of the well. She didn't want to face her family. She didn't want to see anybody. She had lost her newly found will, and she wanted to die.

 

He was fine, she thought, He was gone for so long, and he was fine. He didn't even know…

 

She pulled out the jewel, and silently hated it. It did this to me. I didn't ask for this! She threw it into the well, wishing she had never been pulled down the well in the first place.

 

Her eye caught the letter she had neglected to open the last time she was in the well house. The envelope was dusty, and she brushed it off, once again eyeing her mother's handwriting. She carefully opened it with shaking hands, and pulled out the letter inside.

 

Dear Kagome,

I want you to know how much I love you. You are my only daughter, and you have brought so much light to my life. I always knew how special you were. I was sad when you first started traveling to the feudal era, but I knew it was something you had to do. Now you are all grown up, and I know you may choose to lead your life in the feudal era. You are a very smart girl, and this is your decision to make. I never want you to be unhappy, and being with your friends and InuYasha seems to make you so happy.

 

I love you, Kagome, and I always will. I want you to know that if you decide to spend the rest of your life in the feudal era, I wish you the best of luck. I know about your feelings for InuYasha, and I know about his feelings for you. If he is what you want, then I cannot tell you to stay here. I love you, Kagome. I want you to be where you are happiest. I hope that life brings you as much happiness as you have brought me.

 

Kagome's tears hit the already tear-stained page. She clung to the letter, unable to control her sobbing. I can't go home, she thought miserably, How can I, after all that I have done? She's already let me go. Kagome curled up into a ball on the floor, hugging herself. I can't do it.

 

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Kagome woke up in her bed. The streetlamps outside splayed an eerie light across her room. She didn't know when or how she got there, and she didn't really want to find out. Her head ached from all the crying she had done the day before.

 

She stood up and went to the window, locking it shut and pulling the curtains. Her eyes adjusted to the near blackness. The strange shapes of her room looked less menacing without the glare from outside.

 

She walked into the bathroom, planning to wash her face. She jumped when she looked into the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen, but besides that detail, she looked perfectly fine. What were you expecting? she asked herself.

 

She put her hand up against the mirror, blocking out her face. Sinking to her knees, she let her hands drop onto the tiles. She rocked back and forth, taking huge breaths, trying to calm herself. In one quick motion she grabbed a pair of scissors sitting on the counter. She examined the edge, testing its sharpness, and brought it to her hair. Closing her eyes, she let the edge cut through. Her breathing slowed as she looked at the black lock on the floor. She stood up and once again turned to the mirror. She brought the scissors up, and carefully began to cut away her hair.

 

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“You left quite a mess in the bathroom,” were the words that woke Kagome up in the morning. She opened her eyes to see her mother sitting on her bed. “But I like your hair cut. You did a good job with it, even the back. It makes you look older.” She touched Kagome's face. “I'd also like to see a smile.”

 

Kagome felt the tips of her hair that barely came past her chin. Her eyes looked mournfully at her mother. She found that she couldn't force her face into a smile. “I'm sorry, mama,” she whispered. I can't even do such a simple thing. She was shushed and pulled into a hug.

 

“It's alright, honey,” her mother crooned, “It's alright.”

 

She pushed Kagome's hair back behind her ear, looking at the girl's face before standing up and heading toward the door. “Mama,” Kagome said, “Am I going to school today?”

 

The woman laughed. “You were gone so long this time school already ended. You are on your holidays.” She walked out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.

 

Kagome collapsed back onto her bed. She didn't want to get up. She shut her eyes, and watched her hair fall to the ground again in her mind. What was I thinking? I loved my hair, she thought, though she felt little remorse. I don't even care that it's gone.

 

A tear slid down her cheek, and she touched her finger to it with a dull surprise. I don't want to feel anything. I never felt anything when he wasn't there. Why do I have to feel something now? The pain intensified, and more tears flooded down her face. She curled up in a ball and threw the covers over her head.

 

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“What happened?” InuYasha looked panicked at Kagome's tearstained face as she returned from whatever it was she did to purify the jewel.

 

“I never expected it to hurt so much.”

 

InuYasha drew Kagome into his arms, calming her down. “What hurt you?” he asked quietly.

 

Kagome just shook her head, unwilling to say anything about it.

 

“Don't worry, Kagome. I'll never let anything hurt you again.”

 

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“Summer school?” Kagome asked, flipping through the pages of her books her mother had just dropped on her bed.

 

“You need to get out of the house, Kagome. Out of your room. Out of your bed. I won't have you sulking up here the entire summer.” Kagome's expression didn't change as she looked at the numbers and characters. Her mother's expression softened. “You need to go out and meet people. You have been living in InuYasha's world for so long, and since you don't seem like you are going back, it's time that you explore your own.”

 

I don't have a world without InuYasha. She nodded slowly. “When do I start?” She didn't feel like telling her mother that she didn't understand anything in the books she held. She should know that I've been failing.

 

“Tomorrow. It's your same school, same uniform, so I expect you to be up and ready in the morning.” Kagome nodded again as her mother left the room. She shoved the books off of her bed and rolled over to stare at the wall.

 

I should go. I should forget him. He doesn't exist here. I exist here. He died hundreds of years ago, and I… I died with him. She shook her head, her face contorting into anger. No, he killed me. I gave him everything, and he killed me.

 

He hasn't even come after me.

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AN: I do not own the rights to InuYasha