InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Eien Ni Nakunatta Shunkan: A Moment Lost Forever ❯ Chapter 14 ( Chapter 15 )

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Chapter 14: Saikai

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The remainder of the journey to the western lands was relatively uneventful, and Rin continued to will her heart to stop thundering as they glided the entire long distance in uneasy, awkward silence.

By mid-afternoon, the girl noticed the grasses were becoming longer and the trees were becoming more twisted and stunted. As they neared the coast, she could smell the salt and the spray, and she inhaled deeply, breathing in great mouthfuls of crisp ocean air. Soon afterward, she could hear the cries of the gulls and kittiwakes as the noisy, squabbling sea-birds wheeled and dove in the strong wind currents.

They crested a rolling dune, and Rin got her first glimpse of the shiro she never thought she'd see again. Even before Lord Sesshoumaru had originally left her with Inuyasha, she hadn't been back here in many long months --- eight all together, she suddenly realized in surprise.

As they neared the magnificent compound, Rin wriggled free from Sesshoumaru's grasp yet again and dropped lithely to the ground. She ran excitedly the rest of the way to the fortified wall, just like she always had since she was a little girl.

She had barely come to a stop before the massive iron gate when it swung open, and she was knocked forcibly to the ground by a rather overenthusiastic Aun. The creature pinned the giggling, temporarily hapless girl in the sand and sniffed her all over, as if trying to confirm it was really her. Both massive heads tried to twist and butt the other out of the way to get a better look.

Aun's zealous greeting was interrupted by loud, sycophantic squawking. "Jaken-sama!" Rin cried, recognizing that scratchy pitch in an instant. The girl crawled up to her knees and wrapped the very stunned little youkai in a fierce hug.

Sesshoumaru approached slowly and looked down his nose in wonder at this bizarre sight before him: his often-feuding companions were now embracing one another in a tight, crushing clinch. He could smell tears again --- and with a look of shock he realized NOT all of them were Rin's. He stared at Jaken incredulously.

It appeared his servant had not fared well in his absence at all. The toad looked absolutely dreadful. His brown robe was dusty and needed mending. His pointy hat was bent and settled at an odd angle on his greasy head --- it was almost as if he hadn't checked his appearance for days, possibly weeks. Sesshoumaru snorted and spared a quick glance back over at Aun --- his `fearsome' mount was lashing his tail like some over grown lap-dog, vying with the little imp to regain the girl's undivided attention.

The taiyoukai backed up in utter mortification --- these sloppy, overly-sentimental emotions were making him extremely uncomfortable.

It was simply humiliating just how easily they could lose control of their feelings, he scoffed. But he couldn't hide from the simple truth. He supposed the real reason he couldn't stomach the tender scene was because their tears were such tangible, obvious reminders that HE was the cause of all their misery and sadness to begin with.

Knowing Jaken's subservient nature, and the toad's fear of raising HIS ire, Sesshoumaru knew the condition of his family home would be nothing less than immaculate. However, the pretense of inspecting the grounds would give him the perfect excuse to escape from this emotional little group.

With a curt nod, he left them all to their appalling little reunion. Rin seemed a great deal more animated and comfortable. Perhaps some time spent alone with Jaken and Aun might be best for these first few moments of homecoming.

Besides, he reasoned, he really needed to collect his thoughts. Just what should he do NOW? What the HELL should he do with the girl?! And why had holding her close felt so --- good? Was it an effect of his damn youki inside her?

Throughout the duration of the long journey, he had tried to recognize his power within her. Embarrassingly enough, he had perceived his youki rather quickly. It was very subtle, more of a scent than a feeling really, but that was still no excuse for having missed its existence for all these years. Did the bond only become palpable and obvious when her life was in danger? Like Inuyasha, did this power only flare to save her when she was close to death? And, if so, how could he test such a thing?

He cast a final look back at the girl before striding through the ornate, carved doors of the shiro, disappearing without a word.

Rin frowned slightly as she watched Sesshoumaru-sama march away. What could he be thinking? Before she had time to ponder her master's strange expression and even stranger behavior, she felt Jaken begin to fidget against her hold.

Taking his lead from Sesshoumaru's rather curt and dismissive exit, Jaken broke instantaneously from his welcoming, tearful reverie in typical grumbling fashion.

"Let me go, baka na ningen me!" he screeched in indigination. His whining words were slightly muffled by her tight grip, and Rin couldn't resist giving him one last fond squeeze before shoving him roughly away.

"Ewww," she snapped down at him, sticking out her tongue and fixing the old toad with a sarcastic grin.

"Disgusting," Jaken muttered back, brushing at his clothing as if she had contaminated it. "Human, do not presume to lay your grimy, filthy little fingers on this Jaken!" He straightened his jaunty hat. "Really --- this was so much easier when you were smaller than me," he grumbled.

Rin rolled her eyes. "Ah - that over-active imagination again! I was never smaller than you!" she bit out. Jaken waved his staff in mock-threat and then sighed contentedly.

Rin's sly, sarcastic smirk broke into a wide smile of utter delight.

The young woman turned from the peevish, irritable youkai and walked along the path through the pretty courtyard, pausing momentarily to inspect the gardens. The evergreen azaleas were still blooming, their branches full of vivid patches of white, fuchsia and red. She decided she'd pick some of their flowers later to adorn the many vases within the rooms and corridors of the shiro. As she passed the herb beds, she expertly noted that the yatsude and ginseng were ready to harvest. With a knowing smile, she realized the old persimmon tree in the corner would doubtlessly be laden with its slightly-sour fall fruit as well. She paused and knelt by the small pond, smiling down at the bright koi as they rose to the surface of the water expectantly, waiting to be fed.

Rin rose and brushed off her knees, turning to glance at the towering yanagi tree as she headed under the carved archway at the main entrance. How many hours had she concealed herself in the cool shade beneath those branches, reading, relaxing or forcing Jaken to come seek her in a rather undignified, un-demonlike child's game? Gods --- it was so wonderful to be back.

The young woman entered the genkan, and leaned her naginata against the wall. She peered across the large receiving room, wondering where Sesshoumaru-sama had gone. Rin tried to keep her footsteps as soundless as possible as she took in all the comforting, familiar sights and sounds of home.

The girl suddenly looked down at herself in shame. Being in this rich dwelling again, surrounded by all this elegance and history, made her painfully aware of how dirty and disheveled she must appear.

Her clothes were streaked with dust and badly stained from when those villagers had dragged her to the ground. Her crisp white obi was discolored by dark spots of blood that she had wiped from the back of her wounded hand. And Aun's slobbering a few moments ago surely didn't help at all, she noted with embarrassment. She reached up and combed her fingers absently through her hair --- she didn't even want to speculate on what THAT looked like at the present moment.

She guessed her first course of action would be to find some clean clothes from her room and get the fires stoked under the bathhouse. She would doubtlessly be able to deal with all these changes more easily if she was clean and rested.

She headed purposefully through the receiving hall, taking the opposite route from her master, bearing straight in the direction of her small chamber. Jaken reappeared at her side, quite flushed and out of breath as he trotted nervously at her heels.

"Where are you disappearing to, girl?" he wheezed, resuming his slightly-cross manner and looking anxiously behind him.

"To my room, of course," Rin answered plainly, simply delighted to be able to converse with and rile the contrary toad again. As she turned into the final hallway, Jaken suddenly raced ahead of her much faster than she ever imagined his squat legs could carry him. The little demon blocked her path and tried to extend his ridiculously short arms across the width of the corridor.

"No," he cried.

"Jaken-sama," she said in confusion, "What are you doing? Get out of the way!" She brushed past him and readjusted her light pack with a warm chuckle.

"No, NO," Jaken repeated, much more firmly this time. He backed up to lean against her door. "You don't want to go in there, girl."

The shoji-screen hung slightly ajar. Rin realized it was broken from its track and that there were deep claw marks in the lacquered wood of the frame. She tried to peer past the small youkai and into the room beyond.

"What happened?" she whispered. "Nani ga okottanda no?"

Jaken looked away bashfully. "The lord destroyed --- er --- removed some of your belongings."

Rin gasped and burst past him, crying out in dismay at the sight of her empty, ruined room.

Jaken continued to follow quietly in her wake. "I tidied up as best I could," he offered. "Sesshoumaru-sama did put THIS Jaken in charge during his absence, you know. But you see, girl, I didn't think you'd ever be coming back. The master has been --- most agitated --- and difficult to understand of late."

"Ohhhh," she whispered quietly, stooping to pick up the crushed pieces of a particularly lovely and favored sea-shell.

She turned in disappointment. Her rich bureau was similarly smashed, the empty drawers stacked in a neat pile in the corner. Her fine clothes were nowhere to be seen. All of her little sketches, silly poems and songs, and the carefully sorted seeds she had painstakingly collected from last summer's garden were gone.

But the loss of her belongings wasn't what concerned her most. She dashed across the room to the broken futon frame, cringing with embarrassment. Hopefully, when he rifled through her possessions, Sesshoumaru-sama had not found that silly little piece of paper with his name upon it. She covered her eyes --- why had she left something so maudlin and girlish beneath her pillows? She scrambled amid the few scattered scraps of fabric that remained, and her cheeks flamed a most peculiar scarlet. Jaken watched in utter bewilderment as Rin only continued to add to the mess he had so carefully attempted to clean.

"Hey! Hey!" he scolded. The bizarre human girl was obviously searching frantically for --- something!?!

"Jaken-sama, where's the rest of the bedding?" Rin called over her shoulder, flipping what was left of the mattress onto the floor and moaning in frustration.

"Well --- I --- we --- burned it. We burned everything," Jaken admitted somewhat glumly.

Rin's eyes widened and darted nervously from side to side as if in deep thought. "Did Sesshoumaru-sama find anything --- unusual --- when he went through --- my possessions?" she asked with exaggerated slowness. She realized the great taiyoukai was probably aware of the true depth of her pathetic feelings, but it was just plain disturbing to think of him faced with such telling physical evidence of her infatuation.

"Unusual?" Jaken snorted. "Define unusual! Baka na ningen me, I was sneezing for weeks from all the junk you hoarded in here! Everything was UNUSUAL! All those useless, dead flowers!"

Rin smiled patiently in spite of her growing shame. She didn't want to REALLY agitate Jaken so soon after being reunited. Besides, maybe the old toad was right --- maybe everything HAD gone into the fire. She sighed in resignation and turned back to rummaging through what remained of her room. Jaken had obviously tried his best to hide and repair the damage, but there was no mistaking the many deep acid burns splashed across the walls and furniture.

Without warning a large, imposing shadow drifted across the far wall. They both jumped and spun around to find Sesshoumaru-sama staring back at them from the threshold.

He had only been watching their exchange for a short moment. Soon after he had departed to see if the affairs of his house were in order, Sesshoumaru had suddenly remembered his uncharacteristic snap of self-control and his callous destruction of Rin's belongings. He noted the girl's hurt, stricken expression as she glanced back and forth between him and what was left of her gathered `treasures'. Sesshoumaru met her wide, reproachful eyes --- he backed away from the ragged doorframe instinctively to give her some space.

"Jaken," he called tersely over his shoulder. "Come with me."

The toad threw Rin a worried look, and then trundled off after the tall demon. Rin watched them go curiously --- she hoped she hadn't gotten Jaken-sama into trouble already.

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Sesshoumaru made his way through twisting corridors to stop in the spacious receiving room. His tiny servant approached him warily, wondering what he might have done wrong.

"Jaken, I need you to secure some items," the taiyoukai uttered in his elegant monotone. Jaken's bulbous eyes widened at the opportunity to show his loyalty to his master, and he waited excitedly for Sesshoumaru-sama to assign him some meaningful and momentous task.

"Rin will be staying for quite ---" Sesshoumaru continued slowly, not knowing exactly how to proceed. "Staying for some --- time," he concluded vaguely. He wasn't prepared to divulge the whole story of Tenseiga's power --- it was still too new and strange.

"What can this humble servant provide, my lord? What do you require, Master?" the imp piped earnestly. The toad bowed so low, Sesshoumaru was surprised his hat didn't tumble to the floor.

"Nothing for myself. I wish to acquire some new provisions for the girl," he clarified.

Jaken's jaw dropped most uncouthly and he shook his head, wondering if he had heard his master correctly.

Sesshoumaru merely ignored the toad's stunned look. "Kimono, robes, tabi, simple geta" he listed with a heavy scowl, completely unused to talking so much about such inconsequential subjects. "And nothing too garish," he amended through gritted teeth. "The highest quality. Only shusu, rinzu or the finest habutae silk."

"Certainly, master," the toad replied. He moved briskly toward the door to comply at once, even despite his great astonishment.

"MATTE --- wait," the taiyoukai called out flatly behind him. "This Sesshoumaru is not finished."

Jaken slunk back timidly, feeling slightly overwhelmed.

"You must also bring back carving tools, fude, scrolls and youhishi."

At the casual mention of paper and writing implements, the toad suddenly realized he'd better grab some of his own if he was to remember everything Sesshoumaru-sama was requesting. He grabbed a thin brush from a corner table, nearly upsetting a delicate vase and spilling the ink all over the finely-woven tatami in his scrambling haste to keep up with all the items his master was listing.

Sesshoumaru ignored Jaken's fumbling and scratched his chin thoughtfully. His eyes suddenly fell upon Rin's spear, leaning against the wall in the entry-way alcove.

"The girl carries a weapon now," he stated mildly. "Find her a sling and a cover for the blade so she may carry it with ease on long journeys."

At the mention of `long journeys', Jaken's yellow eyes gleamed again --- would their lives resume their NORMAL, nomadic pace? Not daring to stop and ask now, he just concentrated on writing, continuing to sloppily brush the characters across the page as fast as his stubby arms would allow.

Sesshoumaru tried to think of what else a woman would want. He thought of the different ones he'd known over his long life --- his mother, that bitch his Father had brought home in pathetic attempt to replace her, Kagura, and a few of the other demonesses he'd rutted with in his callow youth. But Rin was SO damn different from any other female he had ever known.

She seemed to delight in such simple things --- never in power, riches or finery. Still, she WAS a woman all the same --- why should she not be impressed with the best he could offer? Damn, this was simply ridiculous.

A sudden picture of the girl's now-altered and more mature appearance quickly flashed through his mind and he settled on a perfect gift to complement her striking features.

"Combs --- for her hair. She has been wearing it differently of late," he stated quietly. "Combs --- in silver."

Jaken's eyes were so large it looked like they might pop from his skull.

Sesshoumaru continued to pay no heed to the thoroughly flummoxed creature, as he suddenly chose to recall Rin's fair skin bathed in moonlight last night.

"Pearls too," he instructed. "Delicate --- small," he revised quickly, not all that confident in the toad's aesthetic tastes. Small --- like her, whispered that embarrassingly strange voice in his mind again.

Jaken moved to return the brush to the ink pot. "My lord, you really want me to acquire ALL this? But where?" he stammered. "And how?!"

Sesshoumaru stared pointedly out the window, unexpectedly distracted by Rin's sudden appearance at the other end of the courtyard. The girl was hastily making her way to the bathhouse, peeking around the corners furtively to check if she was truly alone. She paused for a brief moment to pluck a few leaves from the honeysuckle vine that grew against the far wall.

So that's was why she smelled the way she did, Sesshoumaru mused --- she would doubtlessly add the leaves to her bathwater or to the coals of the sauna. His eyes remained trained on the young woman as she divided and stacked a bundle of firewood. The taiyoukai continued to watch curiously as Rin found there was no oil in the little woven container set aside on the deck to help start the fire.

The girl pouted only for a moment, and he observed in dry amusement as she simply whistled for Aun. The lumbering dragon was at her side in mere moments and Sesshoumaru was forced to shield his eyes against the following explosion of brilliant blue flame. As soon as the blast died down, he looked back in alarm, half expecting the entire bath-house to be up in smoke. But she was merely standing there in unconcerned, rollicking delight, patting Aun on his snouts, and beaming down at a roaring blaze. Clever, resourceful little thing, he mused.

"I only trust this task to you Jaken," he stated inattentively to his stammering servant, still not taking his eyes from Rin. He watched as she climbed the few stairs up to the low deck, and began to disrobe. His breath caught as he got the smallest glimpse of her pale shoulder before she disappeared into the ofuro.

He was snapped out of his daze by a small tug at his hakama. Jaken had moved to stand next to him, his large eyes welling up in simpering devotion. With his master's last declaration, all the toad's protests had died, and he choked and sputtered submissively, "Hai, hai, my lord! Kono Jaken wa zehi itte wa orimasu!!"

Within the hour, the small, proud and tearful little youkai had saddled Aun, and the pair had departed to fulfill their master's first request in months.

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Rin stretched and hopped down energetically from the bath-house deck feeling completely refreshed. She skipped barefoot from stone to stone on the winding pathway, rubbing at her wet hair with a large towel. Her eyes narrowed at the unanticipated sight of her master casually seated at the opposite end of the garden. Rin didn't know if she was frightened or relieved as he unexpectedly beckoned for her to join him.

He sat on a small granite stairway, and he shifted patiently to one side so she could settle down comfortably beside him. Rin gaped --- her master had let his long, abundant hair free from that trailing ponytail. Surely he didn't change that because she had mentioned she preferred it loose? She eyed him with a questioning, leery look, but his gaze had become fixed on the darkening clouds as a few flakes of snow began to drift steadily down from the sky.

"It hasn't snowed here in quite some time," he stated offhandedly, taking in a deep breath. "There will be a storm this night."

Rin regarded him with confusion, still marveling at these casual, easy words uttered in his deep, usually reserved voice. Was he awaiting a response again? Was he inviting another conversation?

Rin blinked up at the threatening color of the sky. "Ahhh," she stuttered back, "um, yes, it seems that way."

She turned away very quickly --- how absolutely stupid she must sound! Sesshoumaru smirked, his sensitive ears picking up on the girl mocking herself as she repeatedly mouthed her own halting words.

"The storms, the snow --- they never last here," he interceded. "Tell me, how did you find living in the cold on that old fool's --- iya --- Totosai's mountain?"

Rin's eyebrows quirked at hearing him quell his own insult, and she smiled brightly, her confidence increasing by the minute. He was still actually choosing to talk with her! And more than that, he was trying to do it with utmost delicacy and respect for her feelings! She hoped this strange new tendency would continue, and she turned to face him fully, not even noticing that her knee brushed against his as she shifted herself closer.

"It was alright at first, the snow --- it reminded me of you, actually," she exclaimed, belatedly grasping that she had just accidentally revealed that she thought of him often while they were parted. Rin pressed her hand over her mouth in mortification.

Sesshoumaru blinked and did something she would never have predicted. He laughed --- not the mocking sound that usually meant some creature was about to die painfully, but a sound full of genuine humor. "Too cold?" he queried.

"No," she smiled hesitantly, "it was ---" Beautiful, she finished in her mind. Sesshoumaru looked at her curiously, waiting for her to finish the rest of her statement. "It was --- never mind," she sighed, folding the damp towel across her lap.

Rin blushed and turned again, and Sesshoumaru felt that unfamiliar knot in his chest once more. He was content to sit for awhile in silence as he wracked his brain for the subtleties of light conversation. He should end this shy lull with a kind statement, or a compliment of some manner. There was so much he could draw from, after all. She was so witty, so brave, so lovely --- so --- the words would not come out. He shifted and cast his eyes on her simple robe. That pale green color was rather attractive on her but the material was certainly not nearly as fine as she deserved.

"Come," he whispered. Without thinking, he seized her small hand in his own and led her through the twisting maze of corridors to his room. He slowly drew the door open, tugging Rin forward gently when she instinctively balked. Jaken had told her long ago to never enter THIS particular chamber.

Now she could only gulp and look around in wonder. Just as she expected, the large room was stark, simple, and white. The furniture was sparse, but elegant and finely crafted. Old weapons and ancient scrolls filled the shelves, everything ordered, pristine and neat.

Sesshoumaru came to an abrupt halt in the center of the room. He was suddenly aware that he was still holding the girl's hand and released it promptly, looking slightly uncomfortable. Rin threw him another quizzical look --- she was certain the stripes on his cheeks were flushed to a slightly darker color.

As soon as he let her go, she moved away to lean on a tidy writing table, pressing her hands tightly to her side, absolutely afraid to touch ANYTHING. Her eyes came to rest on a particularly tattered and time-worn scroll, and she peered down for a closer look. It was torn and singed a bit; the writing seemed familiar, yet somehow not.

The corners of Sesshoumaru's eyes crinkled with amusement at her apparent unbridled curiosity. He lifted the scroll carefully. "It is our own language," he explained, "well, our language from a long, long time ago."

He was secretly pleased when she moved closer with an inquisitive look. "From my honored father," he continued patiently, "It describes the hidden location of his grave and the Tetsusaiga."

Rin looked up in interest and drew steadily nearer. He tapped a long, wicked claw carefully against a few of the strange lines. "See --- migi no kuroshinju. Black pearl on the right," he pointed out.

Rin's smiled brightened --- she COULD make out the resemblance to the modern characters. She caught his gleaming tawny eyes and her grin died suddenly. Gods --- how OLD was he anyway? What was it like to live so many ages? He was so wise and powerful and she was ---

"Will you teach me to understand?" she asked quietly.

"Hai," he nodded. The more he talked, the easier his words began to flow, he realized. The taiyoukai suddenly discovered it might be interesting to hear her clever opinions on a few more critical and weighty subjects.

But now was not the time. He moved slowly towards the far corner of the room, gesturing into an adjoining alcove. "This is where you will stay until Jaken returns with your new provisions," he remarked decisively.

Rin followed quietly and gasped at the enormous sunken bed carved into the floor. She tried to stop her heart from hammering and hoped Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't notice the source of her discomfort. That bed was NOT designed with sleep in mind!

"New provisions? Stay here?!" Rin echoed with a squeak. "Wait, Jaken-sama is gone?"

The young woman couldn't breathe--- she was alone with HIM?!

"Hai, new provisions --- to replace what was --- lost," Sesshoumaru answered. "Jaken left with Aun little more than an hour ago."

He frowned --- Rin's heart was racing again and her scent had changed. What was it now? He followed her wide-eyed gaze to the bed.

That scent. Was that ---

Sesshoumaru-sama shot her an alarmed look and turned briskly to rummage through a mono-oki, pulling out an old haori. It was a man's robe, but it was of a much finer material than the koromo she currently wore. It should prove sufficient until Jaken returned with some decent clothing for her.

"Here," he stated, pushing the long robe into her hands brusquely. "This Sesshoumaru does not wish to see you in rags."

Without another word or a second glance, he marched swiftly from the room.

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The hours dragged by uncomfortably, and night soon fell. Sesshoumaru was right --- the weather had turned most violent and Rin sighed irritably as another rumble of thunder echoed through the sky. She tossed on her new, unfamiliar bed --- his bed, she thought solemnly. Jaken had still not returned ---why in the world was he taking so long?

She couldn't sleep. But then again, how could she EVER be expected to sleep comfortably in a bed after spending a night nestled in his arms? Rin smacked her pillow in agitation and kicked off the silken blankets and heavy kaimaki. Her throat was too dry --- she needed some water, she decided sourly. She rose from bed, adjusted his outgrown robe more securely about her, and pushed the delicate kaya netting aside. Tip-toeing across the room, she slid the door open with hardly a sound, and crept as silently down the halls as she possibly could.

The lightening crackled fiercely across the sky, casting large eerie shadows on the wooden floor. Where was Sesshoumaru-sama tonight anyway? Rin threw a reflexive panicked look over her shoulder, half expecting him to be prowling through the murky darkness. She shook her head at her foolish fears and turned rapidly, only to let out a clipped shriek as she marched headlong into a pair of gigantic, malevolent crimson eyes. She snapped her jaw shut in embarrassment and relief --- it was merely a tapestry of that monstrous white dog, not the real thing itself. She cast a sheepish glance and tilted her head thoughtfully at the stylized image. The painted fabric did nothing to convey the creature's true horror and dreadfulness, she decided.

Rin suddenly noticed a soft light glowing in an adjoining room --- the family shrine, she realized. She crossed under the gleaming threshold, and stared up at the rows of polished armor and powerful weapons on display.

As the storm outside continued to rage, a strong breeze suddenly burst through the vaulted room. The biting gust caused something to flutter strangely in the corner, catching her immediate attention. A little scrap of paper?

She hurried forward and reached out to grasp it nervously, turning the piece in her shaking hands. She unfolded the delicate paper gingerly and choked at the sight of HIS name framed by shakily-scrawled little crescent moons! It WAS the silly scrap of parchment she'd hidden under her pillow --- how on earth did this get here?

"This Sesshoumaru couldn't get rid of it," came a deep voice from behind her. Rin jumped, whirling around to see the taiyoukai reclining in the corner. He had removed his armor and she stared at down at him, clearly intrigued --- she had so very rarely seen him without it! The young woman noted that his physique was slightly heavier than his half-brother's. Though as wiry and lean, his tall frame was somehow more muscular, more solidly developed.

She returned the crumpled paper to the small pedestal in embarrassment, not really knowing what to say. "That was so long ago --- Rin had forgotten about that," she murmured, pretending to be greatly interested in a battered shield on the wall.

"Why are you still awake, Rin?" he inquired patiently, rising to his feet. "Do you not like your new room?"

She drifted back away from him, her stomach fluttering strangely at hearing him say her name in such a soft tone.

The young woman circled apprehensively around another prominently displayed piece of armor, anything to avoid taking note of the demon's proximity.

"I just couldn't sleep, my lord," she finally answered after an elongated pause.

Sesshoumaru nodded. He had been having similar difficulties and he very much doubted it was due to the fact that he was currently occupying a different niche of the house. He cleared his throat and moved to inspect a cracked halberd on the wall.

Rin followed his seemingly dismissive motions --- wait, was he --- was he nervous as well? More and more of her childhood bravado was returning with each passing moment ---

She should ask him her fate, or ask him if he had meant all those terrible words he had said before he abandoned her. But suddenly, a more immediate, infinitely personal question rushed to the forefront of her mind.

"Why --- why did you hold me last night?" she blurted abruptly.

Sesshoumaru sighed. Maybe he should have let the girl go before she awoke; this was so damn difficult. "Because it was cold," he supplied practically.

"Oh. I see," she whispered, feeling a bit crestfallen and slightly humiliated. Of course, he had only held her because of the night air!

The taiyoukai felt something tug in his chest again as he watched the girl proudly try to mask her obvious disappointment.

"And because this Sesshoumaru wanted to," he added before he could stop himself.

Rin's eyes widened and she peered back at him from behind another pedestal. "Will you - maybe - hold me again tonight? Onegai?"

Sesshoumaru-sama looked a little startled by her hesitant request, and Rin fully expected to be ordered back to his room. She turned to go before she had to hear that mortifying command ---

The taiyoukai watched the defeated slump in the girl's shoulders as she walked past him. There was no moment to reconsider, no second to doubt.

"Yes," he uttered quietly.

He led the way, walking steadily down the hall without looking back at her. Rin followed nervously, eyes trained on that flowing silvery curtain of hair. They arrived back at his room much faster than she anticipated --- why did it suddenly seem far closer than she remembered?

The shoji-screen was still open, and Sesshoumaru set his jaw as he crossed the threshold. What in all the levels of hell had he just agreed to? It had been one thing to hold her in the wilderness for warmth, but to embrace her in his own bed?

Rin hesitated at the doorway as well, now focused on his bare feet as they padded silently across the floor. Numbly, she gathered the light robe about her again and moved to join him.

She stared down at the all-too-inviting collection of pillows, quirking her head at the silky ripples in the blankets, and waited nervously. They both stood in tense indecision on either side of the large mattress, neither moving, each seemingly waiting for a sign from the other.

"Look at me," Sesshoumaru murmured suddenly. Rin seemed reluctant to comply, but when she finally turned her face upwards to meet his intense gaze, he felt the oddest mix of burning pain and soothing contentment. Her lovely face was once again full of more emotions than he could even begin to understand.

"You would wake up willingly in these arms?" he asked somewhat skeptically.

"If you would allow me," Rin answered shyly. She hoped it was the right reply. She understood more than ever that he was holding back, choosing his words and guarding his expression with the utmost care. The young human girl didn't really understand ALL of what was happening here, but she realized they were involved in some a strange, new dance. Though she didn't understand all the steps, she instinctively recognized the need to proceed with caution.

The youkai lowered his eyes first, turning to gaze down at his claws. "Why were you never afraid of this Sesshoumaru? These arms, these hands --- have killed many of your kind."

"But they also saved me," she whispered gently. "Besides, I'm not sure they really are my kind --- not anymore." She tapped her small hand over her heart, as if seeking to touch the piece of his youki that was causing it to beat.

The stoic demon lord seemed to be lost in his thoughts as he pondered the implication her soft words and gentle action. Without another statement or question, he knelt slowly and simply pulled the covers back, moving gracefully to settle between them.

Rin held her breath and slid under the blankets a moment later, turning away to stare out at the wall in her nervousness. There was an awkward moment of shifting their long hair and re-adjusting their positions --- finally, he extended an arm so she could cozy up comfortably in the crook of his shoulder. The strong limb wrapped around to enfold her in a tight hug, and she idly reached up to trace the stripes on his wrist. She nuzzled into his warm chest, dimly wondering what it would feel like if it were bare.

Sesshoumaru gasped at the sudden, inadvertently intimate contact and pulled his hips back in shock. He was not sure if she --- or himself for that matter --- was ready to deal with the repercussions of his instinctive, and decidedly male, reaction to her proximity. Gods, he had seen four centuries come and go before she came into his life --- she was still so young; what was happening to him?

Rin didn't seem to be aware of her master's deep discomfort and inner turmoil; she was simply content to just be snuggled against him. This was so wonderful and strange --- she had wanted something, ANYTHING like this for so, so long.

Sesshoumaru was finding the experience strangely calming as well. Not since his childhood, he realized, had he ever really just embraced a woman in his arms for comfort, nor had he been held in return --- and most certainly never in his OWN bed. The taiyoukai toyed with a lock of the girl's dark hair, allowing the silky strands to run through his claws. He stared down at her full lips as they parted in a rather quirky grin in response to his tender actions.

"Oyasumi nasai," Rin whispered shakily, suddenly wishing that she could see his handsome face.

"Un," he mumbled back somewhat dazed, certainly not accustomed to murmuring kind words or endearments in the dark. His free arm merely shifted, and he reached out to rub small circles on her back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry tons o' vocab this time around!

shiro: castle

genkan: entry hall

yatsude: herb

yanagi: willow

Nani ga okottanda no: "What happened?"

Baka na ningen me: "You stupid human!"

Fude: brushes

youhishi: parchment

Kono Jaken wa zehi itte wa orimasu!!: "This Jaken will willingly go!"

Ofuro: bathhouse

iya: "I mean ---"

migi no kuroshinju: black pearl on the right

mono-oki: cupboard

koromo: robe

kaimaki: quilted winter blanket

kaya: netting, canopy

Oyasumi nasai: "goodnight"

Un: yes

THANK YOU TO NOTOES OUT THERE FOR PROOF-READING! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!

Bad Kittie: THANK YOU! Yes - 100 reviews would be awesome! (I've promised to take myself out for thai food when I hit it!) Anyway, thank you so much for being number 96!!!!

Shaid: Glad you're enjoying. The real credit for the Japanese goes to my sister, she speaks it fluently and I keep stealing phrases from her!

RayJayIsCrazy: Yes - the coming affection! Evil laughter! We'll just have to wait and see!

Dog-Taiyoukai#1: Thank you!

Antisocial Mint - yeah, I had to mention "dad" there --- glad you liked it! I have a feeling Sess is more like daddy than he cares to admit!

Sorry, I know I missed a few (well, A LOT). I swear I'm not a jerk, I'm just TIRED! I also tried to say thanks to a few people on fanfiction.net, so I'm out of it. I really REALLY appreciate every review and I can't believe you guys are still reading this! Thank you! It started as just a way to pass a very LOUSY winter, but now it's just plain fun!