InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ For the Love of a Child ❯ Let Me Go ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

 

 

Kagome’s apartment is eerily quiet.  The Houshi’s and Kaede, are greatly concerned about the health and wellbeing of the mourning young woman as well as her state of mind.

 

Sango sits and gently sets a glass of water down on the table beside the young woman and takes her hand.  “Are you sure I can’t get you anything else, Kagome?”

 

Kagome absently looks up, seemingly lost.  “Hmm?”

 

“Do you need anything?” repeats Sango.  “Sandwich…soup…something?”

 

“Oh… um no, Sango,” replies Kagome reaching and picking up the offered glass.  “This will be fine.  Why don’t you all go home now and get some rest?  I’m sure you must feel exhausted.”

 

“What about you Kagome?” asks Sango.  “You’re tired too?  Why don’t you lie down and rest for a while?  I can tidy up for you while you’re sleeping.”

 

“That won’t be necessary Sango.  I’m capable of handling things around here.  Besides, you guys must be much more tired than I am.  So go home, and rest.  That’s what I’m gonna do.”

 

“Tis not good for ye to be alone, at this time, lass,” says Kaede concerned.  “Ye have been through much.  Friends are needed most at times such as these.”

 

“Hey I know.  We should all take advantage of this lovely weather by taking a long walk down to the park.  Or maybe take a drive somewhere,” suggests Sango.  “Like down by the ocean.  I’m sure the fresh air would do us all a world of good.  And when we get back, I’ll fix a nice dinner for us all.”

 

“What an excellent idea, my dear,” says Miroku.  “We would feel a lot better if we went out for a while, and your cooking would do wonders for us.  So, how about it, Kagome?  Feel up to feeding the ducks?  They’re all out there in the pond waiting for you.”

 

“As nice as it all sounds guys,” replies Kagome with a sad smile, “I just don’t think I should be going anywhere right now.”  She looks toward the hallway.  “My place is here.  It’s where I’m needed.  But thanks for asking me.”

 

“Well,” says Kaede rising up with a groan, “I too, must decline your kind offer Miroku.  Though the weather is nice, I’m afraid these old bones won’t be able to handle such a long venture at this time so I’ll be going home to rest as well.”  The old woman looks over at Kagome.  “My door is always open to ye Kagome so don’t hesitate to come over or call if ye wish to talk.  Your company would be most welcome.”  When Kaede is about to leave the apartment, she feels a hand gently touch her shoulder and looks back.

 

“What do you think, Kaede?” whispers Miroku concerned.  “Should we be worried?  Will Kagome really be alright after this?”

 

Kaede looks back toward Kagome with worry in her eye.  “Tis hard to say Miroku.  The lass, is putting up a pretty good front, tis true.  For though she does look strong a front is all it is.  I’m afraid once alone, Kagome’s strength will vanish.  All the memories of the child she will come back to her.  And when they do, the lass will have no choice but to finally accept the boy’s passing.”  Kaede slowly shakes her head.

 

“Kagome will eventually pull through this, won’t she?”

 

“Will she Miroku?  Place yourself in her shoes.  Souta was all she had in this world.  The cornerstone of her life ye might say.  Kagome’s whole world was destroyed when he died.  Now she has a large void in her heart.  One not so easy for Kagome to fill.  To let go of the pain those memories may cause, will be quite difficult for her.  She may never even want lay them to rest.  No, I fear, Kagome will not be able to cope with this tragedy, or with the loneliness the child’s death has made of her life.”

 

“I’ve never seen Kagome like this.  She seems so fragile.”

 

“Aye.  She does at that.  Death can be quite cruel, Miroku.  Especially when a child is involved.”

 

“Perhaps Sango and I should stay here with her tonight.  To keep Kagome from doing anything rash.”

 

“Aye,” Kaede nods.  “That would be best for the child.”

 

“I’ll be just fine, Miroku…Kaede,” insists Kagome loudly and looks over her shoulder at the old woman.  “You don’t need to worry about me anymore.”

 

“I’m not so sure about that Kagome,” says Sango with concern.  “You still look pretty out of it.  You’re pale and you haven’t eaten anything since before you took Souta to the hospital.  That’s got to be hard on you.  At least, let me fix you a nice bowl of rice and some vegetables …something light to help you to keep up your strength.”

 

“Sango I…”

 

“It doesn’t have to be much Kagome,” says Sango.  “Just tell me what you want and I’ll fix it for you.”

 

Kagome gives a deep sigh.  “Please, everyone… I know you all mean well and you’ve been such a god send to me during all this.  But I’m not a child who doesn’t understand what death is or how to handle it.  So, it’s time you stop fussing over me and give me some space.  Give me time to myself, alright?  I’ll be just fine, I promise.”

 

“Kagome,” says Sango worriedly.  “You’re not considering…”

 

“Come Sango… Kaede,” says Miroku gently placing his hands on his wife’s shoulders.  “We should be going home now.”

 

“And leave her alone like this?” complains Sango.  “What if…”

 

“If Kagome should need us Sango,” replies Miroku, “I’m sure she’ll let us know.  Isn’t that right, Kagome?”

 

Kagome absently looks up.  “Huh?”

 

“You WILL call if you need us… right?” asks Miroku worriedly.

 

“Oh, um, yeah, sure Miroku,” replies Kagome hesitantly with a slight nod.  “I’ll call.  So, go home you guys and get some rest.  And thanks for everything.”

 

Once Kaede and the Houshi’s have left the apartment, Kagome stands and 0walks into Souta’s room.  Turning on the light she finds an assortment of small toys and clothing all strewn out on the floor.  She slightly smiles while shaking her head.  “Oh sweetie.  Just look at this mess.”  She kneels down to begin picking everything up to put them away.  “Oh, I know you don’t have to tell me.  Your closet got sick again, right?”

 

She comes across a small helmet to the child’s astronaut Halloween costume and slowly picks it up.  Gently dusting it off, Kagome quietly sniffs and quickly rubs her nose.  “Hey… remember when we first got this thing…how you wouldn’t take it off for almost a month?  You would eat and sleep in this thing.  I almost had to pry it off you just so I could finally get you in the tub for your bath.  The only reason you stopped wearing it was because it was finally falling apart.”  She picks up a few more toys, placing them back into the closet.  “You know, Souta, I’ve been noticing how your toys won’t fit in the closet anymore.  So, I’ve been thinking, of buying you a new toy chest to keep all your toys in.  Maybe a chest designed to look like a rocket ship.  What do you think sweetie?  Would like something like that?  It would keep your closet from throwing up all the time.  We’ll go into town next week and look for one, alright?”  Smiling, Kagome quickly looks over to the empty bed, expecting to find Souta sitting there, smiling with his feet dangling back and forth. 

 

The shaky smile slowly leaves her face.  Kagome stands and walks over to the small bed and lies down, curling herself tightly around the small helmet, and cries.

 

“It’s just not fair sweetie,” she cries.  “I didn’t’ want you to leave me?  I tried my very best to take care of you.  Did my best to make you happy.  I don’t understand.  What did I do wrong for the gods to keep punishing me like this?”  The young woman, tears running down into her hair, sniffs and rubs her nose.  “It’s so wrong.  I should have been the one buried today.  You were three years old, sweetie, too young to die so why you and not me?  I’m not needed here anymore.  There’s no one left who needs me to take care of them.  So since I’m not needed anymore, is it alright if I leave here to go be with you sweetie?  We’re supposed to be together Souta, not be separated like this.”

 

The young woman sniffs and holds the helmet tighter against her.  “I want to be with you.  My heart hurts so bad and it won’t stop.  I don’t want to stay here anymore.  Please come get me.  I want us to be together.  Please Souta, help me feel whole again.  Come and get me, alright?”  Exhausted from the day’s events and her inner turmoil, she soon cries herself to sleep.

 

Kagome finds she’s in a large field surrounded by tall trees, with different kinds of beautiful flowers blooming all around.  The air is clean and the sun is out casting its warm bright light down onto a large group of small children playing in the field not too far from her.  They’re all laughing, running around having a great time.

 

Kagome looks around her confused.  (What am I doing here,) she wonders rubbing her eyes?  (Did I get my wish?  Everything seems so bright and cheerful here.  Wish I could see more clearly though.  It’s as if I’m looking through a dirty window or something.)

 

“Kagome!” comes a child’s voice in the far distance.  “Over here Kagome!”

 

The sad young woman slowly turns finding a small boy running from the group of children, laughing, while waving.  “Why is he calling to me?  Do I know him?”

 

“It’s me Kagome!” the strange child yells happily, still running toward her.  “Come on.  Let’s play!”

 

“I do know him.”  Kagome squints her eyes, to try and see him better.  She takes a few steps toward the running child.  (It’s…Souta?  How?  Why?)

 

“Don’t just stand there Kagome!” yells the laughing child while still running toward her.  “I want to play!”

 

(I can’t believe it.  Souta.)  Kagome, feeling, a strange sense of relief takes a few steps forward then begins running toward the child.  “Slow down sweetie!  Be careful!” the young woman worriedly yells.  “You can’t be running like that.  You’ll fall and hurt your ticker!  Come on sweetie.  Let’s go back inside now.  Souta!”  Yet, no matter how loud Kagome yells or how fast she runs, the child never seems to get any closer to her.

 

“Kagome…!”

 

The sound of the doorbell abruptly awakens Kagome and she quickly rises up.

 

“Souta!” she yells, breathing heavily, her heart beating fast as she rubs and blinks her eyes.  “Souta?  Oh, gods are you hurt?”  The doorbell again rings and rubbing her head, she scrambles from the bed still unsure of where she is.  (I was right.  My son’s still alive.  He didn’t die.  It was just some strange crazy nightmare.  Souta probably sneaked out while I was asleep.)  The doorbell chimes a third time.  “I’m coming Souta …I’m coming,” she yells, staggering from the hallway toward the living room door.  (My baby’s alive,) she thought happily, grabbing the doorknob, to open the door wide.  “Sweetie, how did you…?”  Kagome smile slightly falters when she finds InuYasha standing before her looking concerned.

 

“Oh, um hey InuYasha.”  Kagome turns from the door.  “I didn’t expect to see you today.  What brings you by?”

 

“Just wanted to check up on you Kagome,” answers the hanyou walking in and closing the door.

 

“Check up on me?  Why?  Am I supposed be sick or something?”

 

“Well you didn’t…”

 

“I just had a really bad nightmare InuYasha, that’s all.  It frightened me, so I’m just a little shaky right now,” she says rather surly.  “Just give me a minute and I’ll be fine.”

 

“I…see,” replies the young hanyou with uncertainty.  “That’s good, I guess.  Anyway, the other reason, I came by was to thank you.”

 

“Thank me for what?”

 

“For your kindness the other night.  Not too many humans would have helped a half demon like me.  So, I’m really grateful to you for letting me stay the night here.”

 

“Forget it,” replies Kagome cheerfully.  “I was more than happy to help you out.”

 

“Yeah.”  (Something doesn’t seem right here.  Kagome’s just buried her son this morning and she’s looking almost…happy.)  Searching for something more to say to the woman, InuYasha scratches his head and offers a slight laugh.  “No telling what shape I would be in right now if you hadn’t found me when you did.  I was so messed up.  I had to have been extremely drunk to have been beaten up the way I was.  And by lousy humans no less.  Keh!  That was a first for me.  Can’t remember a time I got so wasted like that.”

 

“Well, if you weren’t so drunk you could have protected yourself better and wouldn’t have gotten so hurt.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right Kagome.  I’ll be sure to be more careful next time.  I still feel a little out of it though.  Almost a week now and my head still feels sore.”

 

“Really?  You seem fine to me,” says Kagome looking the hanyou up and down.  “Can’t see any injuries or bruises on you.  Must be one of those many trait’s you demons seem to be so fond of, right?”

 

“Um, yeah.  One of them.  I’ve been known to heal pretty fast.”

 

“I see.  It sure would be nice if everyone had that particular ability.  Especially Souta.  He would be a lot healthier if he had it.”

 

“Uh… huh.  Speaking of which,” the hanyou walks up to Kagome to wipe some moisture from the young woman’s face.  “You’re not looking too swift right now.  I mean you’re…um… really ok?”

 

“Sure am.  I’m probably just sweating.  That nightmare really wore me out.”

 

“A bad one, huh?

 

“The worst.  Sickness does that to you.  Must have been sick a few days from the look of my apartment.  It really needs tending to.”

 

“Doesn’t look that bad to me Kagome.”

 

“Are you kidding, InuYasha.  Look at this place.  I can’t believe I let it go this long.  It’s gonna take a couple of days for me to straighten it all up.”

 

“Is it really necessary for you to do it all today, though?  After all you’ve been through, you really need to rest and take it easy for a while.  Until you feel you’re ready to get started again.”

 

“I can’t rest now,” says Kagome waving her hand around.  “I’ve got to clean all this up.  There’s dust and dirt everywhere in here.  I hate to see what my kitchen looks like.  But enough about my problems InuYasha.  What’s been happening with you?”

 

“I’m more interested in what’s going on with you Kagome.”

 

“Well after waking from that really weird nightmare, things were a little rough.  I woke up, and found Souta outside playing with some kids.  I brought him so I can give him his bath and fix him breakfast in a little bit.”

 

(So that’s it.  She hasn’t excepted it yet.  She still believes the boy’s, alive.)

 

“I’m a little worried about Souta though.  He’s just too young to be playing so rough with those kids outside.  I know that’s just the way boys are but Souta’s not just an ordinary kid.  He could have seriously gotten hurt out there.  I’m just gonna to have to keep a closer eye on him, make sure he doesn’t go out there by himself anymore.  Then he’ll stay safe.”

 

“I don’t think…”

 

“Now that I think about it InuYasha, guess I’ll have to change a lot of things around here where he’s concerned.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah.  I’ve got to, for Souta’s sake.  But first I have to get rid of all this dust.  It’s just not healthy for him.”

 

“Kagome…”

 

“And since it’s spring, there’s bound to be a lot more pollen in the air.  I’m gonna have to put an extra lock on the door too.  To make sure Souta stays inside now.  At least until I can buy him a new mask that is.  Souta has to wear a special mask to keep out all the dirt and pollen in the air.  He’s lost the last one I bought him.  The fourth one this year.  Souta just hates wearing those things so I think he’s been losing them on purpose.”

 

“I don’t really like wearing those things either Kagome.  They’re just too stifling.”

 

“That’s the same thing Souta says InuYasha.  He tells me it’s too stuffy and he can’t breathe in it.  It’s not like he’ll be wearing it forever, you know.  Once all the pollen settles, Souta’ll be able to wear a normal mask.”

 

“Can you afford it?”

 

Yeah.  I always buy the cheap ones.  You see, InuYasha, Souta needs a special mask because he has a heart problem.  One which keeps him from playing with the other kids.  He hates it when I make him stay inside most of the time but what else can I do?  I have to keep him healthy, right?  But he just doesn’t understand.  Even so, Souta rarely disobeys me.  This was the first time he did actually.  Guess he decided I was sleeping too long and went outside by himself.  I’m really grateful I found him when I did.”

 

“You really loved the boy didn’t you Kagome?”

 

“Of course, I love him.  He’s, my son.”  InuYasha gives the woman a strange look.  “What?  You think I’m being overprotective, don’t you?  That I’m keeping him from having fun.”

 

“I wasn’t thinking that, Kagome.”

 

“I don’t confine my son here like he’s in jail InuYasha.  I keep him in the apartment, sure, but whenever I go out, I’m sure to take Souta with me.  We’re always going out together, whether it’s to go shopping or walking in the park.  We feed the ducks and I push him on the swings.  We do lots of things like that, so he does get out.  On the weekends though we have to stay inside so Souta can get the rest he needs which is hard because he’s always getting into something.  It’s what children do after all.”  Kagome points toward her couch and laughs.  “Every Saturday, Souta and I would sit there together and watch stupid cartoons and eat popcorn.  We almost always end up throwing the popcorn at each other.  One time Souta surprised me by emptying the whole bowl over my head, butter and all.  Can you believe that?  The little rascal.  It seemed forever getting all the kernels out of the cushions, but really, I didn’t mind.  You only get to grow up once.  And besides, I think the butter works wonders with my hair, don’t you?”

 

InuYasha remains silent allowing the woman to ramble.

 

Kagome walks to her window to look out.  “It’s Souta’s dream to become an astronaut InuYasha.”  She slightly frowns as she begins rubbing her temple.  “It’s true.  It’s all he ever talks about.  We um…we watch all the space programs and movies on TV.  Shows like Star Trek and Buck Rodgers.  No soaps operas in this house.”

 

“Maybe you should go lie down now Kagome,” asks InuYasha concerned.

 

“Why?”

 

“Your face is pale and you seem to be in pain.  I can always come back later if you like.”

 

“Oh, don’t worry about me InuYasha.  I’m fine.  So where was I?  Oh yeah.  At night, when it’s dry outside Souta and I would, go out on the playground and sit in the swings, to look up at the stars.  Around here, on a clear night with the new moon you see a lot of them.  It’s really beautiful.  We would just sit and talk.  Sometimes about nothing…sometimes about space.  Souta can be a real chatter box at times.  When we’re about to come in he would always look over at me and say something like ‘someday Kagome I’m going to take you up there to the moon with me.’  Then of course I would answer saying, ‘and what would I do up there?’  Souta would then get this serious look on his face and say ‘go exploring, what else?’  He’d say it just like that, InuYasha with no reservations about it whatsoever.  Kind of strange thing for him to say being as young as he is.  But you know InuYasha?  I really do believe him.  Souta’s a very bright child, so knowledgeable about space and stuff.  It’s because I help Souta learn by bringing books home from the library and reading them to him.  They’re mainly about the planets and moons and suns, where they are and they have pictures of what they look like.  Why, you should hear him when he talks about us going into space together, see the sparkle of excitement in his eyes.  We have lots of fun doing stuff like that…him and me.  Seems everything I read to him he soaks it all up like a sponge.  Souta can tell you the names of every planet in the solar system InuYasha.  He can point out some of the constellations to you too.  That’s a lot better than me, let me tell you.  I just can’t soak up all that information like Souta can.  My son’s just a powerhouse of knowledge and someday he’s going to show the whole world just how smart he is.”  Kagome sighs.  “Yep.  My son’s going places InuYasha, just you wait and see.  He'll be able to choose any vocation he wants.  Be it, doctor, lawyer, scientist anything!  I’m so very proud of him.  Why I wouldn’t be surprised if every school in the world tries to recruit him when he’s older, all the money and scholarships he’ll receive…all the awards he’ll win.  And I’ll be there alongside him cheering him on every step of the way, cause that’s my boy …my son.  And whatever my son choses, InuYasha whether it be an astronaut or a garbage man, I will never be disappointed in him.  I’ll be just as proud no matter what he becomes.”  Kagome bites her lip and suddenly snaps her fingers.  “Darn it.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Huh?  Oh, um, nothing.  I just remembered this book I borrowed from the library two weeks ago for Souta.  I think it’s almost overdue.  Now where is it?”  She begins frantically looking around her, pulling the cushions from the couch and chairs, throwing them everywhere.  “Souta’s always misplacing things, around here.  Sometimes it’s hard to just keep up with…”  InuYasha suddenly grabs Kagome’s wrist, and she struggles, trying hard to pull free from his grasp.  “Hey, let go!  I have to find that book!”

 

“It can wait, Kagome,” says InuYasha gently, trying to pull her toward him.  “Right now, you need to…”

 

“You don’t understand!” says Kagome frantically and she cringes from the pain in her head.  “I’ve got to find it!  Those…those books are very important to Souta.  If I don’t return that book, to the…the library, they won’t let me have… others.”

 

“Listen to me Kagome.  You’re…”

 

“Souta!” she cries still struggling with the hanyou.  “I’m not able to find that…that last space… book I brought home.  The one about Jupiter.  Is it in your room sweetie?”  Only silence reaches her ears.

 

“He sometimes takes the books to his room to look at the pictures.  He loves doing that.”

 

“Kagome.”

 

“Souta?  Sweetie, where’s the book I borrowed from the library?  I have to return it.”  Still no sound is heard.  A confused look appears on Kagome’s face.  “Souta?”  The woman suddenly grabs her head to rub her temple harder.  (Is he pouting because I wouldn’t let him stay outside?)

 

“Please Kagome, let me take you to…”

 

“Don’t be mad sweetie,” says Kagome pleadingly.  “I had to bring you in.  You could have gotten hurt out there.”

 

“You need rest, Kagome.”

 

“We have a…a visitor, Souta,” yells Kagome ignoring the hanyou.  “Come out and say…say hi to him.  I’m sure he’d like to meet you.”  When Kagome still doesn’t see or hear the child, she looks up at the hanyou with tears and confusion filling her pained eyes.  “I don’t understand InuYasha.  I know Souta’s angry but he always answers me.  Why won’t my son answer now?”

 

“He’s not here Kagome,” replies InuYasha softly.

 

“Of course, he is,” she asks with a strangled laugh.  “He’s in his room.  Souta’s supposed to be resting but I think he’s playing hide and seek again.”

 

“You know he’s…”

 

“I give up Souta!  You win sweetie, so you can come out now!”

 

“The boy is dead, Kagome.”

 

Kagome face becomes a little paler.  “What… did you just say?”

 

“He’s gone.”

 

“No.”  Kagome violently shakes her head.  “He’s not gone he’s… you’re wrong!”

 

“You buried him this morning, remember?”

 

“No I didn’t!  That was just a nightmare.  My son is alive, InuYasha!  He’s here!”

 

“I’m telling you he isn’t Kagome.  The boy is dead!”

 

“Stop it!” she cries pummeling InuYasha’s chest.  “Why are you saying that?  Souta is here.  He’s alive.  I know he is.”

 

InuYasha grabs the young woman’s shoulders and gives her a slight shake.  “You’ve got to listen to me, alright?  Your son died Kagome.  You buried him.  The boy no longer exists.  He no longer lives here in this apartment with you.”

 

“No…no no.”

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

“NOOOOO!”  It’s as if the woman’s emotional dam bursts.  All the tears and pain she’s been trying so hard to hide finally comes pouring out.  “It’s not true.  It can’t be!”

 

“I’m sorry.  I know it hurts but you need to face it.”

 

“We’re supposed to stay together, InuYasha,” she says with painful tears falling from her eyes.  “I promised him we would be, that I’d protect him.  Souta needs me and I can’t survive here without him.  No way will I go on alone like this.”  She runs from the hanyou into the kitchen.

 

“Kagome!”  (Damn it!  Why the hell won’t she accept it?  I know it’s hard for her to hear but she has to get over it and go on!  But maybe it was how I said it.  I was a little too blunt about it.  If I had stopped and thought, said it differently.  She might accept it then.)  The sound of kitchen drawers is heard and the hanyou turns to walk into the kitchen.  “Kagome.  Just listen to me for a...” 

 

When InuYasha walks into the kitchen his eyes widen for he finds the young woman standing near the sink, holding a butcher’s knife, raising it high, intending on plunging it into her chest. 

 

“What the…Kagome!”  The hanyou runs and quickly grabs her wrists.  “Damn it!  What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” the hanyou growls.

 

“Leave me alone, InuYasha,” yells Kagome twisting this way and that, trying hard to get him to release her wrists while holding tightly onto the knife.

 

“No way, damn it!” he replies tightening his hold on the woman.  “You’re not going to do this.”

 

“Let go!”

 

“Not until you put that fucking knife down first.”

 

“No!”

 

“Drop it, I said!”

 

“I won’t, do it!”  Kagome kicks his shin and bites his wrist.

 

“Damn it!” cries InuYasha, still holding onto her wrists.

 

“You have nothing to say about this InuYasha.  So let go.  Please!”

 

“Not happening Kagome.  Not, until you drop the damn knife.”

 

“I said no!”  Kagome increases her struggle against the hanyou.  “You just don’t understand.”

 

“Drop the damn knife Kagome, or so help me I’ll break your fucking arm!” growls InuYasha.  “I’m not letting you do this to yourself and that’s final!”

 

“I’m not needed here anymore InuYasha.  Can’t you understand that?  Please, just let me go.”

 

“You gonna give me that knife first?!” 

 

“Let go!”

 

“I said no!  I’m not about to stand by and allow you to kill yourself Kagome, you hear me?  You don’t know what you’re doing so, drop the damn knife already!”  The two continue struggling, until finally the knife falls from Kagome’s hands.  She quickly reaches down for it but InuYasha just as quickly kicks it across the kitchen floor out of her reach.

 

“Nooo!” cries Kagome falling to the floor, and dropping her head defeated.  “You shouldn’t have done that InuYasha.  I want to be with Souta.  Can’t you understand I have to be with him.”  She sobs all the harder.  “I have to.”

 

“Kagome.”  InuYasha, feeling pain entering in his heart, kneels, pulling her into his arms.  “I know how hard this is on you alright?  I understand you’re in a lot of pain.  But believe me this is not the way.  Killing yourself accomplishes nothing except brings unhappiness to others.  Is that what you want?”  Kagome slightly shakes her head.  “If you destroy yourself, you truly will hurt everyone around you.”  The hanyou, feeling the woman’s trembling slightly lessen, runs his claws gently through her hair as she cries out her misery.  “You understand, don’t you?  You mustn’t do it.  You can’t just leave those who love you behind like that.  You must live on for their sakes, as well as the boy’s.”

 

“Sou…ta,” she cries, not holding anything back.  “Oh gods I miss him so much!”

 

“I know and it alright to miss and cry for him.  But you’ve got to let it go.  Just cry it out,” he quietly whispers.  “Let go of all the pain, and hold nothing back.  Remember I’m here with you now.  I’m here for you Kagome and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“I can’t do it, InuYasha,” cries Kagome slightly shaking her head.  “Souta was everything to me.  He gave me purpose.”  Her cries become louder.  “I can’t survive without Souta!”

 

“Of course, you can Kagome,” says InuYasha.  “You’re a strong woman.  You’re strong enough to endure this and anything else that comes your way.  You will survive this not only for yourself but for him as well.  Because your son Kagome, is still here with you.”

 

“He is?” asks Kagome looking up hopefully.  “With me?

 

“Yes,” InuYasha replies, gently touching her chest.  “A part of him will always remain here, inside your heart.”

 

“Souta’s,” Kagome rubs her chest, “inside my heart?  How?”

 

“Because the boy is still part of you.  All the memories you two have shared will always remain within your heart.  No one will be able to take them from you.  If you keep remembering your son the way he was, you’ll never be without him.”

 

“Souta,” says Kagome, tears falling from her eyes.  “He was such a great boy InuYasha.  So intelligent.  I was so very proud of him.  He was my son, my child.”

 

“Then keep remembering him just like that Kagome and you’ll always have him with you.” 

 

The hanyou continues holding the weeping young woman, running his clawed hand gently through her hair, whispering encouraging, reassuring words until he is certain she has calmed down and had fallen asleep.  He then lifts the young woman up, in his arms and carries her to her bedroom to gently lay her down on her bed.  After pulling the blanket over the woman’s body, InuYasha sits next to her, to watch her sleep. 

 

(That was a little too close,) he thought.  (If I hadn’t walked into the kitchen when I did, she would have succeeded in killing herself.  Never have I been around anyone that upset before.)  InuYasha tucks the blanket around her.  (Well at least she’s sleeping now.  Hopefully she’ll be sleeping all night, so, it should be safe for me to go home now.  That would be the logical thing for me to do, right?  Or is it?  I don’t know what it is, but for some reason I’m getting the feeling it would wrong of me to do so.  And it’s a feeling I’ve never felt before.  Is it Kagome?  We don’t even know each other so what is it about her that’s holding me here like this?  Sure, she resembles KiKyo, but that can’t possibly be all there is to it.  If it was then I’d probably be running to get away from her and all her bitching.  No, it’s something else.  Something …elusive.  I just can’t put my finger on what it could be.)

 

“Sou…ta,” she whispers.

 

“Shhh,” replies InuYasha quietly again running his claws through her hair.  “Rest Kagome.”

 

The young woman grabs his hand.  “Take me with you Souta.”

 

(After all I’ve said to her, she still wants to be with the boy.  Guess I can understand.  It’s how I felt when I lost someone, I loved.  I wanted to die with her as well.  For such a long time I felt lost.  The misery I went through was almost unbearable.  Back then I never thought I’d come out of it.  Some days I wonder if I ever did.  That’s why I can understand Kagome’s pain, because I suffered the same.  I wonder if she’ll ever pull through this… if the boy’s death will get any easier for her to cope with.  It will be a difficult adjustment for her not having the boy around to care for.  But she needs to accept his death or she may never be able to fully live her life.)  InuYasha looks around the room then back at Kagome.  (Looks like there’s nothing in here she can hurt herself with.  At least I hope there isn’t.)  InuYasha yawns while lifting his arms and stretching.  “Man I’m tired.  Too much drama to deal with.”  (Well,) The young hanyou quietly stands, (guess there’s no use in hanging around here anymore now Kagome’s finally asleep.  After all, the only reason I came by, in the first place was to check up on her and I’ve still got a million things left to do today.)  InuYasha turns toward the door.  “She doesn’t me hanging around here anyway.”  InuYasha is about to leave the room when the words of the small child suddenly return to him.

 

“I gotta make sure mama’s gonna be alright.  Please…please promise me, you’ll do it!”

 

InuYasha looks back toward the bed.  (Funny.  The boy knew he was dying yet he still worried about Kagome’s welfare.  From what just happened, I guess he had good reason to worry.  But to have asked someone like me to…  I don’t think I can do it.  I’m a stranger to her, after all.  I know nothing about this woman and he wanted me of all people to care for her?  That’s just fucked.  Kagome’s already tried killing herself once.  What if she tries it again and I’m not here?  What if she succeeds and dies?  I can’t handle such a responsibility as that.  It’s too fucking cruel.  No, I can’t do it.  No way.  I should have kept my damn mouth shut and not promise the boy.  But I did promise the kid.  I promised I would and I’ve never gone back on my promises yet.)  The hanyou walks back and sits on the bed.  (Guess you’re stuck with me Kagome.)  Gently pushing the young woman’s hair back, he finds a small scar under her hairline and frowns while lightly rubbing it.  (Could this be one of the scars she mentioned?  Wonder how many more she has?)

 

Kagome again tightly grabs onto the hanyou’s hand.  “I don’t want to be alone Souta,” she whispers.

 

“Shhh,” whispers InuYasha gently pulling his hand from her grasp.  “It’s alright Kagome.  You’re not alone.  I’m here.  I won’t let anything happen to you; I promise.”  (Keh!) he thought with a smirk.  (Yeah right.  I’m a hanyou.  I shouldn’t be making such promises like that?  I’m about as unreliable as they come.  And KiKyo?  Man, if she ever finds out I was here alone with Kagome she’d be absolutely livid.  She’ll be bitching at me for weeks.)  He gently rubs her forehead.  (I wonder if it’d hurt anything if I just stuck around here a little while longer.  Just to make sure Kagome’s safe and doesn’t need me anymore.  She might be in her right once she’s had some rest.  And where’s the harm in me staying here tonight anyway?  It’s not like I’ll be sleeping in her bed or anything.  KiKyo’s out of town, anyway and if I don’t mention anything about this to her, she won’t know about Kagome at all and I’ll be safe from listening to all her bitching.  I’ll check on Kagome in the morning.  If she seems ok then I’ll take off and forget all about her.  Simple.)

 

The hanyou remains at the woman’s bedside until nightfall.  He then rises up from the bed and goes to the main room, pulls two blankets and a pillow from her closet, then lies down on the couch.  (I hope she sleeps well.  She needs all the rest she can get.)

 

InuYasha looking thoughtful, lies back on the pillows and looks up at the ceiling.  (I wonder who it was that hurt Kagome like that.  Who would beat on her so badly it left scars?  A boyfriend, perhaps?)  “Keh.  Why am I so fucking interested anyway?  She’s not my woman so it none of my damn business.”  InuYasha lies quietly, listening intently for the woman’s soft breathing in the other room and once convinced of her wellbeing, he rolls to his side, pulls the blanket over his head and soon falls asleep.

 

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Sorry it took me so long guys, but I wasn't quite satisfied with the chapter as it was.  So, I’ve been looking for ideas to make it better.  I hope I’ve succeded.  I've received no reviews on this story so far, so if no one likes it, I'll just take it down and look for something else to write.