InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Didn't Know I Was Waiting For You ❯ The Dreamwalk ( Chapter 8 )

This chapter is what Sesshoumaru observes when he dreamwalks Kagome. Any thoughts are his because he is not truly part of the dream and is therefore the only one who can have thoughts within it, there is no such thing as a thought to the dream people(Dreaming is a state of thinking). Please note one doesn't necessarily know if they are observed in their dreams unless the observer interferes with the play of the dreamscape. I don't own Inuyasha and co. so don't sue k?

Chapter 8: The Dreamwalk, Her Heart Revealed

Finding a mind when you are dreamwalking isn't the easiest thing in the world to do. First off you had to intimately know the persons aura and have a good feeling for what their mind was like. Second you had to be sort of a free floating mind while you searched for your destination unless it was right next to you. And lastly you had to have a way into the dream once you found the one mind out of thousands sleeping in the world. All told not an easy task.

Sesshoumaru had prepared a special tea which would relax his body while freeing his mind for travel. He drank it down and then settled into his bed, claws folded over his chest. Closing his eyes, he began a light meditation. He felt himself rise over the city and was looking down on a field of colored dots. Each dot represented a mind.

The minds of Tokyo were as diverse as they were similar. The minds made a sea of reds, blues, greens, yellows, pinks, grays, and silvers, some streaked with black(children having nightmares). In the midst of the chaos of sleeping minds was a beacon that made her incredibly easy to find. One mind, among the multitude, shimmered a pure silver violet, like a mirror covered in light purple gauze. He sped to her mind and was quite proud of the shield she had around her lighthouse of a soul. He barely took note of the mind nearest her, briefly seeing it was blue-green with hints of yellow.

Sesshoumaru reached out and tentatively touched the shield, wondering how to slip past something so strong. Much to his utter astonishment it opened a door for him to walk through. He entered and was embraced by warmth. The sensation was a combination of when she hugged him, petted his tail, and healed his arm all at once. The sensation was one of love and tenderness. The emotions and colors that crashed over him would have left him floundering for air if he was physically there. He felt incredible. Getting a feel for his surroundings in the surface of her mind, he spotted her sleeping self deep within the sphere of consciousness. He let himself be drawn to where she was starting to dream.

Sesshoumaru knew this place, it was the Forest of Inuyasha, the way it was 500 years ago. *So even now her mind and heart are here.* The god tree was crowned with leaves just hinting at autumn. On its trunk was kanji. He moved closer to look at the words. The tree was a grave marker and bore names(Inuyasha, Kikyou, Kaede, Sango, Miroku, and Rin) carved in beautiful calligraphy. There was also a set of prayer beads wrapped around the trunk just under the names. The beads reminded him of the rosary Inuyasha once wore so Kagome could control him. He felt sad seeing Kagome's grave marker for his daughter.

He became aware of soft footsteps and looked away from the heartrending sight. He saw her. She was wearing miko style clothing in dark blue. Her hair hung to the small of her back, the raven tresses shimmered with blue highlights in the light of the full moon. She had a full quiver on her back and a strung bow in her hand. She looked like she was waiting. Finally she turned in the direction that the village stood in the past.

Inuyasha walked from the village, through the still forest filled with distant mist. He entered the clearing. His silver white hair fluttered as he walked his ears swiveled trying to catch any sound in the silent trees where not even wind blew. Inuyasha had a smile on his lips and he looked at Kagome tenderly. "Hello Kagome-chan," he said in a voice filled with kindness. "It's good to see you."

She smiled at him, full of love and pain, and walked toward him, "It's good to see you too beloved." They met in the middle of the clearing and embraced. "I miss you so much my sweet puppy-chan." She said to him in a hoarse whisper as tears fell.

"I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you. If I could change it or stop it I would."

""I'm fine," she lied sniffling, "Are you happy with her?" Her eyes searched his face. It was free of the pain, anger, and sadness that had plagued it his entire life.

His golden amber orbs met her stormy blue ones. "I've been very happy, but I've missed your smile."

She attempted to smile, for him. "Thank you for visiting me. But I didn't come here to reminisce I came for answers. So I'm afraid you need to go back." He nodded and hugged her. "I'll always miss and love you, Inu-chan."

"And I you," he said as he released her and faded from site.

*She still loves him so much and her heart will always lie with him. How could I have thought she felt anything for me?*

Sesshoumaru didn't notice Kikyou's arrival until she seemed to materialize next to Kagome. She looked like a red reflection of the modern incarnation. Kikyou didn't look like the same soulless, heartless clay woman of the past. Instead her brown eyes held sympathy and life. *How ironic that her heart was restored after she died again.*

Kikyou's voice was quietly kind as she asked, "Why do you always summon him to the dreamtime before calling for me? You know he is only a partial shade of the true Inuyasha because he as yet has not the right to come here fully."

"I know Kikyou-san, but this is the only way I can see him without the lies my heart would cloak him in. Here he is as he was and not as I would have him be." She turned to look at her prior incarnation. Troubled confused sapphire eyes met understanding brown ones. Standing there looking at each other over a span of inches they looked like sisters Kikyou only slightly older.

Kikyou set a gentle hand on Kagome's shoulder. She guided Kagome to the god tree and the two bent their heads in reverence. "It always surprises me to know you carved my name with his when you went home," Kikyou began. "Do you want me to tell you why you are here or would you prefer I ask?" Kikyou asked the question as they unbowed their heads and Kagome looked about to respond to the first comment.

"Questions often lead to better understanding," Kagome said and ignored the conversation they often had about the grave marker.

"Very true. So, Kagome-san why do you call me?"

"I'm confused on my feelings and I need advice."

"How confused can you be?"

Kagome grumbled and glared at Kikyou. "I need to understand why Sesshoumaru is on my mind and in my dreams so much of late."

"You miss him."

"I know, but is it more than that?"
"Perhaps."

"Thanks," she replied dryly. "How can I know?"

"Why don't we analyze your dream? What have they been recently?"

"Mostly memories with confusing twists."

"Show me."

Kagome nodded and closed her eyes. An illusory image appeared in the clearing. It was Sesshoumaru's garden when he still resided in his great castle. Near a tree were Sesshoumaru and Kagome sitting in the grass. She was petting his tail as they watched Shippo and Rin play. *My sweet daughter, I still miss your smiles so much.* The observers watched as the dream Sesshoumaru pulled Kagome closer to his side. *I have both arms in her dreams.* The dream Kagome leaned against him and smiled up at him. The dream Sesshoumaru leaned down and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back. They laid down in the grass kissing and holding each other. The image faded. *She dreams of me like that?(Wonder)*

Kikyou raised an eyebrow, "I think that is a pretty clear message."

"How can you say that," her face blushing lightly.

"It's obvious that your heart desired, desires still, to be with Sesshoumaru."

"But I loved Inuyasha; I can't betray his memory by having these feelings for his brother."

"What did he say to you the night before we faced Naraku?"

"He told me to find happiness. He made me promise I'd love again after he went to hell with you." There were tears in her eyes.

"So why can't that love and happiness be found with his brother?"

"Inuyasha and his brother were not close. Sesshoumaru was always trying to kill him and I don't think he'd be happy with me loving the man who was always trying to kill him."

"Did you know they reconciled right before the final fight?" *How does she know?*

"No I didn't. I thought they'd hate each other even beyond death. I'm glad I was wrong," she said with a wane smile.

"Now perhaps do you think you can listen to your heart?"

"Yes but I still can't figure why things played out as they did. Why did I have to loose the puppy loved so much?"

"His soul and our soul are intertwined in fate, but I think only my life was meant for a fulfilled love with him. I think yours was meant to keep the cycle in motion. You had to love him and he you, but it had to be unfulfilled so that you could make the pure wish you did."

*She had to go through all that pain just so that damn rock would be made powerless(Anger)*

Kagome sighed, "I can see the truth of it all, now when the pain is no longer so strong. I know you told me all this before when we were under the starless sky here in dreamtime, I'm sorry I forgot until now."

Kikyou pulled the younger woman close in a sisterly hug, "Just because you were not destined to be with Inuyasha doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling love."

"You mean with Sesshoumaru?" She pulled out of Kikyou's arms and looked deep into the eyes so like her own except in color.

Kikyou smiled and a little laugh escaped as she said, "Well I certainly don't mean with Hojo. No offence but the boy is a bore."

"Kikyou!" she sounded outraged, but had a smile on her face.

"I know, I know, I'm the one who told you it was a good idea to move in with him. I'm sticking to that assessment. But you and he are not meant for more than sibling type love. Besides he will eventually figure out he's gay and then where would you be?"

Kagome only looked slightly stunned, "He is?" Kikyou nodded. "I've wondered about that for a while now. Straight guys just aren't so sweet understanding and nice all the time." Both girls smiled at each other. "So I'm in love with Sesshoumaru," Kagome mused, "I've been in love with Fluffy since before I gave up Inuyasha to you, wasn't I."

"Yes you are and were. Now the question becomes what do you do about it?"

"What can I do? It's not like he could even look at a human that way. I'm just a lowly niggen remember?"

"How do you know he hasn't changed in 500 years? After all you and Rin changed him enough in less than a year so that he was able to reconcile with his brother. That change happened why not his ability to love given an additional 500 years?"

"He could have changed in that time. But even if he has and is still alive I'm not very likely to run into the youkai lord of the western lands in my everyday life."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to lie to yourself? Why do you insist on blinding yourself like this?" Kikyou sounded exasperated.

"I'm sorry Kikyou-san," she said as she hung her head in shame. "It's just that I'm scared."

"Of what Kagome-chan?" She'd placed her hand on Kagome's chin and lifted the girl's head so their eyes met again. *Why are you afraid Kagome-chan?*

"I'm scared of rejection of not knowing what to say. I'm afraid he won't believe about the well and my traveling between the past and present. I'm terrified that he will laugh and scoff at my weak human emotions and I can't stand the idea of my heart shattering again." She allowed the fearful tears to roll down her cheeks.

Kikyou gently wiped the tears away. "Just have faith in him and your heart. You had faith back then, is it so hard to have faith again?" Kikyou smoothed Kagome's hair with a tender maternal touch. "Can you at least admit to who he is?"

"He's Isawa Sesshoumaru." Her voice quivered and she sniffled away her tears. "Will I even remember any of this when I wake? I forget so many of these trips when I'm conscious."

"If it's important enough to you, you will. You remembered the advice about Hojo so I know you can."

"Then I probably won't." *Why not!?*

"Why?"

"Because I'm not strong enough," she replied bitterly.

*Yes you are my love.*

"You're stronger than you think Kagome-chan. I know you are because you're stronger than I was. You were able to make a selfless pure wish on the Shikon where as I would have defiled it with my selfish desire. You possess a strong as steel spirit. Your soul is my soul tempered with an almost endless love and ability to sacrifice. Your heart is stronger than the strongest blade. If remembering this time in the dreamtime is important enough to your heart and soul, and I think it is, you will remember."

*Its important enough Kagome-chan, I'll help you remember. I won't loose this chance as I did to pride in the past.*

Kagome barely nodded.

"Then I leave you to your heart and dreams. Dreamtime will end when I leave." Kagome nodded again. "See you later Kagome-chan, don't loose your chance for happiness. Don't wait till death to realize what is before your eyes like I did."

Kagome smiled and hugged Kikyou, "I'll try to remember." When she released Kikyou the ancient miko began to fade.

Sesshoumaru watched as the land slowly changed before his eyes. It was subtle as it changed. First birdsong began to fill the air and a gentle breeze blew though leave that were now the color of summer. The distant mists transformed into fields of flowers. The night sky lightened to day blue filled with fluffy clouds and the moon became the sun. Kagome's clothing changed as well, she was now in jeans and a light blue tank top.

Kagome started walking toward the village in her dream, Sesshoumaru followed. She wore a faded smile, slightly echoing pain as she entered the village. Children played in the meadows and people worked in the fields. They smiled and nodded to her, she nodded back. She passed by Sango and Miroku who both gave her warm loving smiles and then turned back to their daughter in Sango's arms. She walked to a small house by the shrine. Kaede was asleep in a rocking chair by the door and Kikyou was hanging laundry. A small child of about three years played with the clothes pins. She looked a bit like Kikyou but had small puppy ears and golden eyes; also her hair was almost blond. Then a slightly older Inuyasha walked over and scooped up his daughter, gave Kikyou a kiss and walked over to Kagome.

"Hello Kagome-chan. I see you're getting ready to go home." She nodded with a soft smile filled with heartache. "You're never coming back, are you?" She shook her head. "I understand, you have a life to start with Sesshoumaru and you can't be held by the past. I moved on with my life with Kikyou, it's only fair you move on too." She looked at him with tears forming in her eyes. "Don't cry Kagome-chan." He set his daughter down and hugged Kagome. "Just promise me you will be happy and smile for me sometimes. I miss your smiles."

She hugged him back and nodded into his shoulder. "I promise Inu-chan." He beamed a loving smile and kissed her salty cheek softly. "I have to go now." He nodded and she ran across the village back to the old well. She jumped in as Sesshoumaru arrived.

The dreamscape violently wrenched around him, changing to one of a modern day shrine. He was standing in the middle of its courtyard. He saw Kagome exit a small building with a sign that read `Sacred Bone Eaters Well.' He felt his curiosity stir. Then suddenly he saw himself step out of the shine house. That stopped him dead in his tracks.

He watched as the dream Sesshoumaru smiled at Kagome. *Is that really what I look like when I smile?(surprise)* "Welcome back my love. How'd the goodbye go?" Kagome's response was tears as she threw herself into his arms. "I'm sorry for the pain you both had to go through, but I couldn't marry you while your past still held you so tightly." She nodded and tightened her hold.

"I love you Fluffy-chan," she turned bright happy love filled eyes up at him.

Sesshoumaru knew how to take over dream versions of himself and impulsively jumped into the dream Sesshoumaru. He was suddenly looking down into love filled sapphire eyes. He leaned down and kissed her. His soul burned with the intensity of the emotions that coursed through him with the kiss. Her lips were soft and inviting. He ran his tongue along her lips seeking entrance and was granted it. He deepened the kiss and tasted the honey nectar of her very soul. He closed his eyes cherishing the kiss.

Sesshoumaru woke all at once. The Dreamwalk had ended abruptly. He noticed it was morning and deduced that she'd been forced awake. *God that was the most intense experience of my life. I never realized how much I came to love her. I was a fool to let my pride blind me back then. I won't be this time. This time I won't loose you Kagome-chan.* He got up and readied for the day. *I'll make you remember your heart's revelations.*

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Wooh hoo………

Sesshoumaru knows he loves Kagome and Kagome(unconsciously) knows she loves him back. Will she remember upon waking and if she doesn't will he be able to remind or convince her.

By the way now you know who her little voice was inside her mind last chapter; now don't you hate it when prior incarnations just won't keep their noses out of your business.

Thank you, hope you enjoyed.