InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The King's Mistress ❯ Treason ( Chapter 30 )

FANART! FANART! FANART!

 

The last chapter of this story must have inspired everyone's art muses, because I suddenly had a huge batch of fanart submitted to me from several different artists, both new and old. I'm loving it, though, so I have to show all of you, and keep in mind that these links are also all posted on my profile page. Remember, if you've drawn art, or want to draw art, feel free, and then let me know or somehow let me see it if you can, okay? That way I can give you due credit! I love every single one of you! Keep up the awesome work and thanks again! Oh, and there's more art that I've been receiving that I'll save for the next chapter…I want to spread the goodies around a little. You're all wonderful, and I sincerely hope you're all inspired to draw for me again soon!

 

Welcome AnimePunk13 to the artist scene with her two pieces!

 

http:// www. deviantart. com/ deviation /22056451/

http:/ /www. deviantart. com/ deviation /22092961/

 

Here's my dear friend Miyu6 with her artistic debut!

 

http:// www. deviantart.com / view/ 21747213/

http:// www. deviantart. com/deviation/ 21747534/

http:// www. deviantart. com/ view/ 21763099/

http:// www. deviantart. com/ view/ 21810051/

http:// www. deviantart. com /view/ 21810195/

 

And of course one of the veterans, who is working on an awesome piece step by step, Han Mei!

 

http:// www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 21745050/

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~

 

Title: The King's Mistress

 

Author: dolphingirl0113

 

Chapter Twenty-nine: Treason

 

Rating: PG-13 (for language and, at times, implied sexual situations)

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, nor do I take credit for several of the historical ideas, facts, and realities I have taken and used.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~

 

What is there to say about those days on the road? Those days without any prying eyes, when I had more purpose and belief in what I was doing than I ever would again were pure bliss in many ways.

 

I did much soul-searching and much reflection, trying to reason away the guilt in my heart about abandoning Kouga while also tempering down the thrill as I thought of seeing Inuyasha again. Every time I caught a chill and thought it wasn't worth the effort I merely had to think of his beautiful face and I knew I could withstand anything.

 

I can vividly recall the rain on my face and the biting wind in my hair as I rode on towards what I felt sure was my destiny. I was young and still very naïve, and believed that I could simply appear on my white steed with Excalibur in my hand and sweep away all the danger and all the conflict. I was wrong. Though I would ride into court and try to do just that, life and love, unfortunately, doesn't work that way…

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

Kagome's world, once so broad and connected to so many people, had narrowed for those few days on the road to nothing more than the dirt path before her and the pounding of her horse as the mare's grayish-black hooves connected with the muddied earth. Her legs ached, her back ached, her head was pounding in time with the horse's gait…frankly she was discovering muscles in her thighs and butt she'd never known to exist before. And yet no amount of pain could convince her to slow down or to rest extra long in one of the taverns they passed. Instead she merely felt even more determined to reach her sister as soon as possible.

 

Every time she felt one of the blisters that had formed on the outside of her right leg (the one that connected most often with the saddle) scream out in protest, Kagome focused intently on the thought that Kikyou might at that very moment be suffering just as much in some far off corner of the Tower. No pain was so great that Kagome couldn't reason it away, and no amount of pleading from either Yuka or Gwen could penetrate the determined wall she'd set around her mind and heart.

 

She would reach the High Court as soon as possible…and she would put an end to Kikyou's suffering forever, one way or another.

 

It was the sixth day on the road that it began to drizzle again after mercifully giving the three travelers four days of reprieve, though the sun had never once penetrated the heavy cover of somber gray clouds, and even Kagome found herself groaning in soft protest as she shivered and pulled her large blue hood over her head once more. She couldn't remember feeling warm once since they'd departed from the castle of the North. Not even in any of the taverns, where Yuka would always demand the best rooms for her lady and a seat of honor by the roaring hearth, had Kagome felt warm.

 

Somehow she knew her body wouldn't allow itself such a simple comfort until she had reached the High Court and had learned for herself what was going on, with both her sister and with the man she loved.

 

“My lady!”

 

Kagome turned at the waist, ignoring the painful ache in her back, to see Gwen kicking his horse to catch up. Obediently she slowed her own mount slightly, so that when the young man finally did reach her side they were both moving at a fast walk, and Kagome couldn't help but note the way her entire body seemed to sigh with relief at the momentary reprieve from the grueling task of trying to balance over a galloping horse.

 

“What is it?”

 

Gwen swallowed, his throat parched and his breath coming in short gasps from riding for so long without much rest. “Yuka wishes for me to express to you her desire for you to rest for a few hours in the carriage.”

 

Kagome turned around again to see the silhouette of the black carriage drawn by a solitary black stallion, and could barely make out her friend and chief handmaiden's outline against the misty haze of the afternoon drizzle where she sat with the reins in her hands, steering the carriage along the small dirt road.

 

In some ways Kagome resented that horrid carriage which was toting all of her most precious and necessary belongings, because it was slowing her down, but on the other hand she had to admit that perhaps it was preventing her from riding her own poor mare to death, even though the horse had been dutifully riding on whenever her mistress commanded. Having been a natural with horses since she first sat a saddle at the age of four, Kagome could feel the horse's labored breathing, and the fact that the mare was favoring her front right leg had not escaped her notice either.

 

Clearly they would all require a lot of special care upon arrival at Inuyasha's castle.

 

“My lady?”

 

Kagome was brought back to the reality of cold, wet rain plastering stray tendrils of hair to her cheeks and weighing down her hooded cloak around her shoulders, and she jerked her head back around to look at Gwen, noting his own exhausted expression. She felt slightly guilty for forcing the poor man to come with her, but whenever she saw his face warm at the sight of Yuka she felt some of that guilt ebb away. The two were obviously falling in love, and fast…and the innocence and beauty of it in such a dark part of her own life brought Kagome a joy she'd thought impossible to feel again.

 

“I have no intention of sitting in the carriage while the two of you are forced to remain out in the rain,” she finally replied stubbornly, her voice leaving no room for argument. “I am the one who insisted on traveling like this, and I shall not be one of those arrogant ladies who then crack the whip over the heads of my servants while I sit comfortably with my pillows and blankets.”

 

A slight smile turned up the corners of his mouth as Gwen moved his horse somewhat closer to Kagome's. “No one thinks you are that way, my lady…frankly, Yuka and I are both afraid you'll ride yourself to the point of death by taking ill the moment you arrive at the castle.”

 

Kagome shrugged. “If it is God's will…”

 

Gwen chuckled. “Did it ever occur to you that your death would have an effect on this world as much as it would change the next?”

 

A slight smile turned up the corners of her lips, though Kagome did her best to hide it by lowering her head and allowing the corners of her hood to fall forward and protect her face. She was growing very fond of Gwen, with his handsome face and honest answers to all her questions…but she didn't need him knowing that. Not yet, anyway…though the idea of making him her personal advisor (which really meant her personal spy) had occurred to her more than once since they'd left the North.

 

It would certainly make Yuka happy.

 

“Tell me more about what was going on at court before you left with the letters,” she finally commanded gently, knowing her obvious change of subject would not go unnoticed.

 

Gwen shrugged, losing the glint of concern as his expression hardened to one of indifference as he stared down the road before them, the view severely limited due to the mist and the rain.

 

How quickly summer had shifted to autumn, Kagome mused silently.

 

“The atmosphere was very tense, Lady Kagome,” he finally replied, clearly searching for the right words. “There was a lot less laughter, and the banquets were more subdued because everyone was watching the King and Queen.”

 

“Why?”

 

He grunted. “Why else? They were all trying to ascertain for themselves what the truth of the matter was, and stupidly thought they could tell on their own if the Queen was pregnant or not, and if she was, whether or not it was the King's child.”

 

“So people were already suspecting that Kikyou was pregnant with someone else's child before Naraku made his confession?”

 

Gwen shook his head. “No, my lady…those rumors started swirling only after his confession to one of the higher lords at court.”

 

Kagome grunted. “No doubt he wished to relieve his pitifully guilty conscience.”

 

“Then he should have spoken with a priest if he wanted to purge his soul of all sins,” Gwen replied, reading Kagome's mind perfectly. That thought caused her to smile slightly, though she remained silent as it was obvious the young man had more he wanted to say. “It's just that…”

 

Suddenly he seemed to pull into himself, and Kagome could almost see him physically locking his lips shut to prevent something else from being said aloud. “What is it?” He looked at her and then looked away, nervous, and Kagome tried to give him one of her more comforting smiles as she tried again. “Gwen…what is it? I promise you cannot offend me. I value your opinions on these matters.”

 

That last statement seemed to be the right thing to say, because he finally turned to look at her once more, though he still seemed a little nervous as he spoke. “It just seems odd, doesn't it?”

 

“What does?”

 

“That he would confess such a sin so openly.”

 

This time Kagome grunted. “Well Naraku isn't exactly what I would call a normal man. Who knows how his mind operates.”

 

“Yes, but…well…doesn't it all seem a little too convenient?”

 

“Convenient?”

 

“That the Queen just happens to be pregnant so that he can claim parentage?”

 

Kagome felt herself become slightly nervous. Perhaps Gwen was a little too intelligent. “I don't see what you mean,” she feigned ignorance.

 

“I think she's guilty, my lady,” Gwen finally stated simply, though his face paled dramatically as the words left his lips, and she saw him cringe, as though expecting some whip to come and thrash him from the sky for uttering such a thought aloud.

 

Knowing it had only been a matter of time, Kagome simply took a deep breath, seeking to find out just how much of the puzzle Gwen had already pieced together in his mind. “And what makes you so sure that the Queen is carrying Naraku's child?”

 

“Because it seems too carefully planned; as though Naraku wanted her pregnant so that he could then confess and get them both sent to the block for it.”

 

This time it was Kagome who paled, and she was grateful for her large hood as she leaned forward once more to hide her face.

 

So…Gwen had looked at all of the evidence and had come to the same conclusion she had. It made perfect sense, after all; the way Naraku had practically stalked Kikyou to death until she finally gave in to his seduction, and then how he had simply left her alone, seeming like a predator waiting patiently for the prey to bleed on its own before he moved in for the final kill.

 

And Kikyou had bled, that was obvious now…her weakness, the crushing blow Naraku had been waiting for, was the pregnancy…and now that Kikyou was becoming undeniably pregnant, and hadn't acted quickly enough to terminate the rumors early on so that people wouldn't realize how far along she actually was, Naraku had struck the crowning blow at last. He had confessed that he had shared the bed of the Queen a mere six weeks before she had been married, and that he feared her child was his own, and not the Kings, and could not allow such a sin to go unnoticed or unpunished.

 

He had taken a great risk, and had been incredibly lucky. It seemed that, for whatever reason, God was on his side to have given him the strength to survive the Tower all those years, and then allow him such intimacy with Kikyou just once and still manage to beget a child.

 

“God or Satan,” Kagome murmured aloud, feeling her gut clench as that horrible image of the falling axe came to mind. She would not leave Kikyou to such a fate. Kikyou Higurashi was the High Queen, and, even more than that, she was Kagome's sister.

 

“What did you say?” Gwen asked curiously, having watched every expression play across her face in response to his observation.

 

“Nothing.” Kagome looked straight ahead, now carefully avoiding his eyes. This young man could prove to be a great ally to her, but until she was completely sure of his integrity, she couldn't allow him to see too much. “There is just so much darkness in my life these days…I often forget myself and say ridiculous things.”

 

Gwen chuckled at that. “My lady, I wish that all of us could handle adversity the way you do. You reign in your troubles like an expert reigns in a wild stallion.”

 

Kagome smiled and opened her mouth to reply, grateful that the conversation was reverting back to a lighter tone, but instantly forgot what she had been about to say as a familiar grouping of flags appeared at long last through the mist and rain, high above her but still far enough away that they appeared almost equal with the horizon, framed by the outlines of several snow-capped mountains.

 

“Inuyasha…” Her heart cried out for him, as though sensing his presence once more, and Kagome had to desperately fight the urge to kick her gray mare into a frantic gallop, leaving Gwen and Yuka behind so that she could reach her heart's desire even a few moments sooner.

 

As though reading her thoughts perfectly once again, Gwen frowned and moved his horse closer to Kagome, forcing her to become aware of his presence as she broke out of her dazed stupor and turned to look at him. “You cannot go there alone, Lady Kagome. You've already taken a great risk in coming back here at all, and now you have to be careful not to give anyone reason to arrest you for treason.”

 

That word caused Kagome to withhold her biting retort, knowing Gwen was right. She had to be very careful and play her cards exactly right, or else she would lose not only the hand but the entire game. And in this game, the stakes were life and death. It would do no good to go barreling into court with her fangs bared, looking for all the world like she was prepared for battle. That would only solidify Kikyou's guilt in the minds of those who held her life in their hands, because it would show them she had something to hide if her sister was riding to her rescue.

 

Still, she became very anxious, and was slowly urging her horse to go faster, forcing Gwen and Yuka to keep pace, slowly increasing their speed until they were moving at a very uncomfortable trot, Kagome wincing every time her body came down on the saddle. But she remained tight-lipped each time Gwen asked if she was alright, because while she knew he would not allow her to go any faster, and that it would not be wise to go against his advice, Kagome refused to go any slower either…and so instead she ignored her body's loud protest, focusing all her heart and mind on the end goal, which was slowly becoming closer.

 

Inuyasha…

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

The courtyard was all but abandoned when the trio rode through the gates, and the only person who came to greet them and take the horses to the stables was a young stable boy who looked to be no older than Shippou. Kagome felt the cold lump in her stomach grow rapidly as she sensed the tense atmosphere, and knew that she would hear no good news once she walked through the large double doors.

 

“Oh Kikyou…” She sighed as she craned her head upward, trying to see the top spires of the castle, wondering where her sister was at that moment, refusing to turn around and see the looming shadow of the Tower behind her. They'd passed it as they'd moved through the streets of the royal city, and Kagome had studiously kept her eyes averted…now would be no different.

 

Kikyou was not there. She just couldn't be, because while she had made a few mistakes the Tower was still for criminals, and Kikyou was no criminal.

 

With that in mind Kagome purposefully dismounted from her horse, feeling her legs shake as gravity pulled her down towards the ground. Taking a step she nearly cried out in pain, feeling the material of her simple light blue gown brush against the open blisters hidden beneath all her layers of fabric.

 

Walking was going to be a challenge, but she saw with dismay that she would receive little help from either Yuka or Gwen, who were in no better condition than her. Gwen, after all, had ridden through wind and rain in record time to reach the North, only to be forced to turn around a day later and make a hazardous journey back through the same harsh weather, and poor Yuka was so unaccustomed to rigorous travel that she, like Kagome, was ready to collapse.

 

And yet, despite her condition, the loyal handmaiden moved toward her mistress with a purpose, limping slightly and favoring her right leg much like Kagome since they both rode side-saddle the same way.

 

“Come this way, my lady,” Yuka spoke formally, as always remembering her place when in public…even though their audience was nothing more than a poor stable hand.

 

She began to move slowly towards a side entrance that Kagome suspected led to the kitchens, causing Kagome to furrow her brow in confusion. “Yuka…shouldn't we go this way?” She indicated the large double doors that would lead into the great entrance hall. “It's faster and…”

 

Yuka turned around with a determined expression. “My lady shall not appear before the King, Queen, or anyone else looking like you do. You're soaked, the hem of your gown is covered in mud, your cloak is in desperate need of being washed…” Despite her exhaustion Yuka cracked a slight grin. “You're not at your best.”

 

Kagome couldn't help but roll her eyes and grin back. “I hardly think this is the time to worry about appearance.”

 

“Nonetheless, it will give me an excuse to sit by a warm fire for a few minutes, and I think Gwen would appreciate the warmth to…so just think of it as a kind gesture toward your loyal servants.”

 

Knowing it was her fault that both Yuka and Gwen were in such an exhausted state, Kagome couldn't resist that last statement, and in the end found herself nodding and following her friend toward the small door into the large kitchens, though she found herself self-consciously pulling her hood back over her head so that she wouldn't draw too much attention to herself as she moved past the servants. She wasn't quite prepared for word to sweep through the castle that the Lady Kagome had returned just yet…though they would probably recognize Yuka anyway.

 

Her thoughts were broken apart by a sudden wave of warmth and the smells of baking bread and cooked meat, and Kagome found a long sigh escaping her shivering lips as she stepped into the great kitchens of the High Court. Long tables stretched out before her where several servants were efficiently chopping up various meats and vegetables, either dropping their handiwork into large pots of stew or handing the meat over to cooks so that they would be prepared as a separate dish. There seemed to be roaring hearths everywhere, and all those working in the kitchens had great beads of sweat on their cheeks and foreheads…a sharp contrast to the three shivering travelers passing between them towards the opposite door that would lead into the castle.

 

Kagome was instantly aware of nearly every pair of eyes being directed toward her, and she realized the hooded cloak probably drew more attention than she'd first assumed, so that rather than protecting her it was instead transforming her into a mysterious traveler from a distant land.

 

So much for a discrete entrance, she thought to herself…

 

“Yuka!” One of the ladies called out in surprised joy upon seeing her friend, and Kagome sighed.

 

…And so much for anonymity.

 

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Kagome decided she could warm herself elsewhere, and began moving as quickly as she could without appearing rude towards her goal, which came in the form of a simple wooden door that she knew led into the halls of the castle itself.

 

Stepping out into the narrow stone hallway, Kagome took a deep breath as the old familiar scents assaulted her nose; traces of the latest perfumes worn by the ladies of the court, combined with the many flowers that were kept in soil pots, smells of the damp stone intermixing with the damp velvet carpet beneath her feet.

 

And without meaning to Kagome felt a smile come to her face as she realized that, at long last, she had come home…or, at the very least, home to the people she cared about. Her brother was here, as was her sister…and so was Inuyasha.

 

But the smile instantly faded, along with her purposeful strides, and Kagome came to a halt just as she rounded a corner to move up a back flight of stairs that she knew led to the second floor. Not realizing she had stopped, Yuka and Gwen collided with her, and they all ended up in a heap against one of the walls.

 

“What's wrong, Kagome?” Yuka finally asked once they'd managed to straighten themselves and look half-presentable despite their travel-worn clothes and exhausted expressions.

 

“I…” Kagome blushed. “I don't know where I should go, or where to have my trunks sent.”

 

“To your rooms, of course,” Yuka replied matter-of-factly. “Where else would you and your things go?”

 

“But Yuka…” Kagome swallowed, having suddenly remembered that she was no longer a member of that court, but rather was supposed to be in the North planning her wedding to Kouga. “I don't have a room here anymore.”

 

That caused the maid to halt mid-sentence, and both women were suddenly silent. Kagome realized then that they had been so focused on reaching their destination that neither had thought about what would happen once they reached the castle. They had sent no letter ahead of them so that there would be a room prepared because Kagome had been afraid Inuyasha would stop her from coming…so now she had no where to go, and felt suddenly very foolish standing in the middle of the slowly darkening hallway, the sun going down behind the overcast sky.

 

Finally Yuka managed to muster one of her casual smiles as she waved her hand to show she was not concerned with their little problem and once more began moving towards the stairs. “Don't you worry about a thing, Kagome…I'll have a room all furnished with your things within an hour.”

 

Kagome couldn't help but smile warmly at her friend's attempt to make her feel better. “And while you're pulling off this miracle, what exactly am I supposed to do? Stand out here in the hall?”

 

Yuka stopped and turned around with a shrug of her shoulders. “You wanted to go and see the King, right? Well I suppose now you can without me getting in the way.”

 

Kagome raised an eyebrow curiously. “But I thought you didn't want me making any appearances dressed as I am.”

 

“Well it would appear I have no choice at this point,” Yuka retorted with an exaggerated roll of the eyes. “And I suppose your wet hair and cloak will only prove how much you care, to have risked your health the way you did all for his sake.”

 

Kagome felt her face sober instantly. “It was for Kikyou too, Yuka.”

 

Her friend's friendly smile faltered slightly. “Right. Of course.” She turned back around and looked at Gwen with a determined expression. “Well don't just stand there! You can help me get my lady's rooms ready!”

 

Gwen immediately snapped to attention, and Kagome thought they already looked like a married couple as he hastily followed after Yuka, who was making great time up the stairs, taking them two at a time as she held her skirts high above her knees to keep from tripping. She had made a promise that Kagome would have warm rooms in less than an hour and, as always, she intended to keep her promise.

 

Kagome watched them disappear around the bend of the stairs, listening as their voices faded away, the smile on her face fading just as quickly. It was strange how suddenly alone and afraid she felt without her dear friend. For the past few months it had felt like she and Yuka had been united against the rest of the world; an impenetrable wall of strength in the face of every kind of adversity. Now, within a matter of a few seconds, that impenetrable wall had been broken, and Kagome once more found herself feeling very alone in the large castle of the High Court.

 

And, just as she had before, Kagome suddenly found herself drawn towards the one person who always made her feel warm and safe, her feet seeming to turn on their own and head back towards the great entrance hall, her stride slightly altered due to the limp as she favored her right leg, which was absolutely burning and shaking from having sat so long in the saddle. At least Yuka had driven the carriage for a while and been given that slight reprieve; Kagome had been atop her gray mare for every moment of the six days she had been on the road.

 

The halls of the castle were eerily quiet, and Kagome found herself falling easily into the gloom that caused the air about her to be so thick.

 

Why weren't there cooks and servants running about to prepare the evening feast? Why weren't all the women in their usual places about the floor, dressed in their finest as they waited for the King to appear, hoping to catch his eye? Where were the tables that were normally set up in the evenings so that the gentlemen could play cards?

 

In short, what had happened to the court Kagome had come to know so well?

 

The entryway, with its high vaulted ceilings and grand staircases leading to every floor of the castle, was just as quiet, and even more eerie due to its massive open space, normally filled with laughter as all the courtiers waited to enter the Great Hall for dinner. Her footsteps echoed in the silence as though she was in a tomb, and Kagome found herself wincing slightly with each piercing sound.

 

Where was everyone?

 

Slowly, mechanically, Kagome moved towards the grand staircase and began to climb the steps one at a time, leaning heavily on one of the stone rails each time she had to step up with her left foot and put all her weight on her right. Both her legs felt like they had been turned into jelly, and she could tell that her grip was severely weakened from reigning in a horse for six days.

 

She wasn't exactly the tower of strength Inuyasha would remember, she thought wryly as she finally, mercifully reached the second floor and turned to the left, where she knew at the end of the hall she would find the hanyou King's study.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted when there was the sudden sound of footsteps moving in her direction, and Kagome's head shot up, startled, as a hand suddenly came in contact with her shoulder. Her eyes met a familiar dark, nearly violet gaze, and Kagome sighed in relief and inner joy to see her dear friend.

 

“Miroku,” she allowed his name to flow off her lips. “It's so good to see you.”

 

But her friend, normally so carefree, who always had a witty comment or comeback for everything, simply stared at her for several seconds before he frowned, his face paling slightly. “What are you doing here Kagome?”

 

His tone instantly erased the smile on her face, and Kagome felt some semblance of her old spark flare in offense. “What do you mean by that? You make it sound like I have done something wrong.”

 

Miroku looked her up and down, as though assuring himself that she was indeed real, before grabbing her by the arm mid-sentence and pulling her back down the hallway he'd come from, practically throwing her through the large mahogany doors that led into Inuyasha's study, all but slamming the doors behind him before anyone could see what was going on. Kagome, startled by his uncharacteristically cold (and rude) behavior, simply stared, waiting for him to explain, for a smile to break out across his face as he finally began to act like the man she had come to know so well.

 

But that smile never came, his handsome features instead seeming to be permanently marred by that hideous frown, and finally when Kagome realized he wasn't going to say anything she felt that spark flare again. “What is the meaning of this? How dare you presume to grab me like some animal and drag me about against my will!”

 

She shook her finger at him in warning, but he seemed completely oblivious to her rage, instead focused on his own inner turmoil as he took a step away from the doors, where he had been leaning against the knob which he'd latched securely a moment earlier. “Kagome…what are you doing here?”

 

There it was again…that cold, almost calculating tone. Kagome bristled even more and straightened her back, lifting her chin proudly into the air despite the fact that her entire body was practically shaking from exhaustion, the hem of her dress spattered in mud, her cloak drenched and her hair falling wildly about her face in curled tendrils. Dirty or not, she was a Higurashi, and more than that, she was sister to the High Queen…and she was also very hurt by such cold treatment from a friend.

 

“I responded to my sister's letter, if you must know,” she finally retorted, her own voice adopting Miroku's cold façade. “And the last time I checked, sisterly bonds of affection were not illegal.”

 

She thought there was a flash of concern or worry in Miroku's eyes, but it was instantly gone, leaving Kagome to wonder as the man took another step forward. She stubbornly stood her ground. “Did you not receive Inuyasha's letter, Kagome? Did you not read that you would be in great danger by coming here? Did you not see that he commanded you to stay in the North?” Miroku sighed. “That was a royal command, Kagome, not a request…he could have you thrown into the Tower for disobeying his decree.”

 

Kagome felt her heart constrict as she thought of Inuyasha, and how hurt he would be when he learned that she had ignored his pleas for her to stay safely in the North, but she refused to back down. She had done the right thing. “You and I both know he will not throw me in the Tower, Miroku, and even if he were to put me in there I would find a way out.” Her eyes began to glimmer with the tears of worry she'd been withholding for the past week. “My sister wrote to me and said she was in trouble and needed my help, and I could not ignore her.”

 

They stared at one another for several silent seconds, as though each was measuring the other to determine who would give first before Miroku finally slumped his shoulders forward and sighed in defeat, moving to sit against Inuyasha's large desk, which rested beside a roaring fire. Kagome looked longingly at the warm flames, but refused to move until she and Miroku had come to an understanding.

 

“He will not be happy,” he finally spoke with an expelled breath. “Frankly, he'll be furious, and it will be my head if anything happens to you as a result.” Miroku looked up, his hands resting against the desk, his tight grip betraying his inner turmoil. And yet his eyes suddenly warmed, and Kagome was once more looking at her dear friend. “It is good to see you though, Kagome. We've all missed you.”

 

All her anger instantly faded, and Kagome took back every silent curse that had been running through her mind since he'd first grabbed her by the arm and yanked her into their current situation. Moving quickly, she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around his neck in a friendly embrace, feeling as he hesitantly returned the gesture, though he clearly grew bolder as she suddenly felt one of his hands inch lower.

 

“Miroku!” She smacked him on the shoulder and instantly leapt away. “Why do you always have to ruin a perfect moment between friends?”

 

He shrugged, his old roguish smile returning. “Sorry…I can't help myself. Without you around I haven't been able to touch any woman without Sango threatening to take away my reason for calling myself a man.” He cringed and crossed his legs at the thought, causing Kagome to giggle and blush all at once as she imagined perfectly what her friend probably sounded like when she gave such a threat. “I suppose she knew nothing would happen between us, so she allowed it, but with the other women, well…”

 

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Kagome chided half-heartedly, a warm smile already gracing her features. She could never stay mad at him for long.

 

Miroku looked back at her once more. “She'll be thrilled to see you again. She talks of nothing but you all the time; how she wishes you were here with her to talk to and share everything with. Your letters seemed to be only a small consolation.”

 

“Where is she now?” Kagome asked, purposefully ignoring his last statement because she didn't want to dwell on her own loneliness while she had been in the North. At least, not at that moment.

 

“In her chambers getting ready for dinner. I imagine she'll come by here shortly since we usually go to dinner together.”

 

“You two have made up then, I take it?” Kagome crossed her arms and raised an eyebroww suggestively.

 

For once Kagome thought she actually saw Miroku blush even as he tried to give her a casual shrug. “The events of the past few weeks have been, well…no less than earth-shattering in a lot of ways, and they've made us all take a good look at what we have.”

 

That sobered her instantly, and Kagome frowned once more. “Miroku, what's going on? Inuyasha said in his letter that Kikyou is not carrying his child, and that he knows this is true for reasons he didn't care to discuss in a letter. Does the whole court know?”

 

“All they know is what Naraku has said,” he replied, becoming instantly serious as he turned to look at the fire, the yellow and orange flames fighting with one another as they crackled and slowly charred the logs within the stone hearth. “And he has openly claimed Kikyou's child to be his own.”

 

“And everyone believes him, don't they?”

 

Miroku shrugged. “Some do and some don't. I would have thought they would all turn against her immediately, considering how cruel they were to her before her wedding, but it's as though now that she's their Queen they're a little less quick to jump to conclusions. I suppose it's probably because of all the turmoil in the rest of the world. They want to think of themselves as better and more loyal and patriotic than the courts of England, who so easily turned against their Queen in favor of a whore.”

 

Kagome winced at the crude word, though she knew he referred to Anne Boleyn. Not long after the wedding Kagome had received word that Queen Katherine had been officially put aside and practically banished from court to live alone while Anne took up residence in her old apartments and played at being Queen until King Henry could seal the divorce and legally marry his mistress in the eyes of God.

 

So perhaps the suffering of one woman was helping another remain safely on her throne, Kagome mused. People were indeed fickle.

 

“So Kikyou is still safe?” She knew the naïve hope that was laced into her voice, and felt her spirit plummet as she saw Miroku wince. He was not going to give her good news, she realized then. Things had taken a turn for the worst. “Miroku…” She swallowed. “Where's my sister?”

 

“They…” For once the man who always knew exactly what to say was at a loss for words. “I'm sorry, Kagome…they arrested her this morning.”

 

Kagome felt her face pale and her heart plummet into her gut, leaving her feeling weak and queasy. Her legs began to tremble again, the false sense of security gone and leaving her once more exhausted and weak, and she found herself reaching for the top of a nearby chair to steady herself.

 

“But if they arrested her that means that she…she is…” She couldn't bring herself to say it.

 

Pity filled his eyes, and Miroku shot to his feet and moved to her side, placing a comforting hand around her waist and another at her elbow as he guided her towards one of the luxurious couches before the fire. The light from the day was almost gone, though the clouds would mean there would be no stars or moonlight that night, and Kagome felt her own heart and mind cloud over to match the weather.

 

Images of the Tower, with its shadow extending to cover her as she'd passed it earlier that day, caused Kagome to shudder. Had Kikyou seen her? Had her sister watched as Kagome had moved through the streets to ride to her rescue, oblivious to the fact that the one she meant to save was already past the point of no return?

 

“Kik-you…” Kagome felt her voice catch, and she swallowed, trying to steady her breathing as she pictured her beautiful, elegant sister trapped in a small stone cell in that horrid place, locked away from the rest of the world with nothing but a solitary window to show her the free outside world.

 

Miroku's eyes softened in pity, his expression kind as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Kagome's shoulders, pulling her against him so that he could rock her back and forth gently, his hands remaining respectfully on her back.

 

“No one was surprised when they arrested Naraku two days ago,” he began to speak, his voice surprisingly calm, and Kagome found herself listening despite the voice inside her head screaming at her that it couldn't be true. “Frankly, we all thought he would have been locked away sooner, because whether or not what he says is true, to even suggest such a treasonous act is a crime in and of itself against the Queen. But then they came for Kikyou this morning without warning, and not even Inuyasha could stop them, though he tried. He was furious.”

 

Kagome closed her eyes, trying not to imagine the rage her beloved hanyou would have flown into the moment the court officials dared to tell him he had no power in protecting his wife. But she suspected he was probably angry more due to the humiliation of the whole situation than anything else. Whether or not the rest of his court knew the truth, Inuyasha knew he was not the father…and that had to be the worst blow of all.

 

His wife had betrayed him.

 

She heard Miroku's voice, and tried to focus back in on what he was saying, hoping she could just ignore the emotions running through her heart…begging her mind to just go numb until she ascertained the whole truth.

 

“Sango and I were there too…when it happened. The official who made the actual arrest seemed very uncomfortable and slightly apologetic as he told Kikyou she was to come with them, and all the other officials with him mirrored his own guilt. They were all just following protocol, and clearly didn't enjoy in the least the fact that they were being forced to arrest the Queen.” She felt him swallow, his chest rising and falling against her cheek, but still Kagome remained silent.

 

Be numb, she silently begged her heart and her mind. Just be numb to it all and the pain of the truth will go away.

 

“The trial's set to begin in a week,” Miroku continued, either oblivious to Kagome's inner turmoil or purposefully ignoring it…and she suspected it was the latter. “There will be witnesses, of course, who will be called to testify about what they know or what they have seen occur between Kikyou and Naraku, and evidence will hopefully be provided if there is evidence to be seen, and then, finally, Kikyou and Naraku themselves will be given the chance to speak.”

 

A long silence stretched between them, and Kagome knew they were probably both thinking the same thing: after all the witnesses had been heard, all the evidence had been seen, and the testimonies from the accused had been heard…then there would be a verdict.

 

The axe appeared again, but this time it was even more real. Kagome could almost smell the fresh grass of the green knoll…could hear each hollow sound as Kikyou stepped up to the scaffold and lay her beautiful head against the hard, smooth wood…

 

“Kagome, you've come back to a very dangerous situation,” Miroku's voice penetrated her thoughts, and she frowned as she pulled away from him enough to meet his gaze.

 

“I had to come back,” she stated firmly. “I have to protect my sister.”

 

“But if you go to the trial you'll be forced to testify…and that could lead to your own possible incrimination and subsequent arrest. You've been closer to Kikyou than anyone.”

 

“I had to come back,” she stated again, as though she had been reduced to a mere child who had been instructed on what to say and could say nothing else. In some ways she felt like a small, helpless child at that moment. She had been engaged to the King of the North and was the lover of the High King himself…and yet, in this moment, she was powerless to help her sister.

 

Why was God so cruel?

 

“Kagome, listen to me,” Miroku spoke again, taking her arms in his hands and squeezing them firmly, bringing her back to reality. “This is not like it was before. You are not simply going to be able to explain away a few rumors and take the blame for your sister's past mistakes. This time what she has done is much more serious, and if she's found guilty, she could very well be-”

 

“I know what will happen if she's found guilty, damn it!” Kagome snapped, pulling away from him and rising to her feet, ignoring the sudden pain from the blisters on her right leg, or the lack of strength in her body in general. She pointed an accusing finger at Miroku, who had acquired that look of pity again. “And don't you dare mention the stakes to me again, do you understand me? I don't want to hear it!” She began trembling again as she placed her hands over her ears as though to block out some deafening sound. “I don't want to hear it!”

 

The double mahogany doors burst open, and Inuyasha appeared, having been alerted to something amiss by the noises coming from his study. Irritated and more than a little upset by the fact that his wife had been arrested that morning for treason in the form of carrying a child that was not his, he was not in the mood for another one of Miroku and Sango's squabbles, and intended to put a stop to it before it got out of hand…again.

 

“Damn it all, Miroku, what are you and that stupid woman of yours arguing about this time?” He stomped into his study and slammed the door behind him to show how upset he was, failing to even register that the woman standing before Miroku wasn't Sango. He marched right up to his friend. “In case you haven't heard by now, I have a lot on my mind because my wife was just arrested this morning for treason and could now be beheaded if she's found guilty, so I have a little more to deal with than another one of your…”

 

Inuyasha suddenly froze, feeling something within his heart do several back flips in a row as a familiar scent drifted toward his nose. It was covered by many other scents, to be sure, including the smell of fire smoke, rain, dirt, and horses, but it was still there beneath it all…that scent that belonged to one woman and one woman only.

 

Roses…

 

…Kagome.

 

In that moment the hanyou registered Miroku's nervous expression for the first time, and suddenly felt afraid to turn around and face the woman he knew was standing behind him because he could feel her eyes boring into his back. He knew that gaze even without seeing it because of its intensity.

 

Kagome.

 

But it couldn't be. He'd told her to stay away. No…he'd commanded her to stay away, and for her to disobey a royal command would be enough to have her thrown in the Tower for a few weeks. Surely this was just his mind playing tricks on him because he was so desperate, and had been ever since they'd parted, for her company.

 

And yet…that scent. It was so real. Surely his mind couldn't possibly conjure up such a realistic…such a tangible…

 

Taking a deep breath, Inuyasha slowly turned around, and all the air left him in an instant and he couldn't breathe.

 

“Kagome…”

 

She stood there before him, her eyes wide and filled with so many emotions he felt like he was going to drown in her gaze. But as always whenever she looked at him there was that one emotion that dominated all others…the one emotion she refused to acknowledge verbally and yet the one emotion he had always known to be there: love.

 

Her pale blue gown looked even paler against the light of the fire and the fading grayish hue of day pouring through the many windows of his study, causing her skin, paler than usual, to practically glow. Her cloak, spun of a firm material in a shade of the deepest blue, brought out the color of her eyes, the large hood on her head giving her an almost mysterious air.

 

It was his angel. His Kagome. Everything he had wished for.

 

And he couldn't have been more furious.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” He exploded.

 

Kagome jumped back slightly, shaken instantly from the reverie she'd fallen into the moment she'd heard his voice. She had hardly been able to believe that it was him, that she was seeing him physically, in person, and not just in her dreams. His voice had echoed in her heart and mind and pushed all her fears to the farthest recesses of her conscience, his stunning amber eyes filling her vision completely so that she saw nothing else.

 

He was dressed as casually and as simply as usual, with a red shirt and black pants, and yet Kagome thought he'd never looked more handsome. His silver hair flashed in the light of the fire, his skin had a healthy glow, and the anger in his eyes only seemed to give him an even more vital sense of life. God help her, because her whole body was on fire from within, desperate to touch him, to feel his soft cheek against her fingers, and to have his strong arms wrap around her and make her feel safe once more.

 

And then he'd yelled at her.

 

Kagome hadn't been exactly sure of what to expect, though she had certainly dreamed of a few scenarios where Inuyasha would take her in his arms and kiss her passionately and swear to never leave her again while interspersing a few realty checks where she assumed he would regard her with a standoffish cold demeanor. But never, in any of her figurative meetings, had she imagined such a crude and harsh greeting.

 

She felt her heart break slightly, and so, in return, she did the only thing she knew how to do: she snapped back. “What do you mean by that? How dare you address me in such a rude manner! King or not, you have no right to treat me thus. I am fiancée to Kouga, King of the North, and sister to the High Queen, your wife…and I will be treated with respect.” She chose to omit the fact that she had called off her engagement to Kouga…for the time being, anyway.

 

Inuyasha glared back at her, taking a step towards her, and she responded in kind. “You, madam, are hereby charged with insubordination for disobeying my direct royal command.”

 

Kagome stared back at him defiantly. “So lock me away in the Tower, if that is your wish. I came back to help my sister, and no order from you or from the Pope or God himself could have kept me away. I will always help those I care about.”

 

“And did it not occur to you that by respecting my wishes you would be helping me?” Inuyasha snapped back, his eyes hard as flint, though Kagome could see a slight amount of hurt and worry beneath his harsh exterior.

 

Her eyes filled with sadness, but she continued on anyway. “I had to come. My sister wrote to me and asked me to help her.”

 

“And I wrote to you and commanded you to stay in the North!” He looked away. “Where you would have been safe! It…” he frowned. “It was the only way I could think of to protect you. Can't you see that?”

 

Kagome looked at him steadily for several seconds. “Inuyasha…” He looked at her, and this time she looked away, unable to say what she had to say while looking into those beautiful amber eyes. “I've told you before, and I'll say it again: I am bound to Kikyou in ways I can never be bound to you. Your letters arrived on the same day from the same messenger, and I had a decision to make. Once again I had to chose whether to obey my lover or my sister, and…” She sighed. “I will always obey my sister.”

 

She heard a slight whimper, and Kagome looked up in shock to see Inuyasha with an expression of utter defeat. She gasped. Inuyasha had never looked that way before.

 

“So now I'm not even allowed to protect you, the woman that I…” He trailed off, though Kagome had a strong sense about what he had been about to say. How she longed to hear those three words.

 

But then the hanyou seemed to gather himself together and place his walls around him once more, and Kagome watched as he rose back to his full height and turned to Miroku. “Have you informed the Lady Kagome of the current situation with her sister?”

 

Kagome blanched at his formal tone, but then again knew she couldn't expect much else after what she had just said, which was basically that so long as Kikyou was alive and needed her help, Inuyasha would always come second.

 

Miroku saw her pained expression and gave her a look of friendly comfort before looking back at Inuyasha and nodding. “Yes; I had just finished explaining the situation when you…um…walked in.”

 

The hanyou blushed slightly at the implication, but chose to ignore it, pushing forward. “So Kagome understands that her journey here was wasted because there is nothing to be done now but wait?”

 

“I…” Miroku turned slightly pink with embarrassment, knowing he was caught between two jealous and wounded lovers who were so desperately in love with one another they could hardly see straight, and yet felt that they had to put up barriers at every turn.

 

Kagome rescued her friend from having to say any more as she chose to reply to Inuyasha's curt question on her own. “I understand quite well the situation Kikyou currently finds herself in, Your Highness,” she was glad to see him wince at the formal tone she threw back in his face, “But I must say that I disagree with your opinion that my journey here was wasted. If I can do nothing more than visit Kikyou every day of her imprisonment, then that will be enough for me. She needs to know that the ones she loves are here to support her, no matter what else she may have done.”

 

“Keh,” Inuyasha grunted and turned away from her, trying desperately to ignore the part of him in his heart that was currently doing a happy dance seeing Kagome standing before him once more. “So you've come here then to defend your sister's innocence and virtue again, Kagome? Like you did before the wedding? Well let me tell you…this time she is guilty. I know because, well…I just know.”

 

Kagome sighed. “I haven't come back to defend her innocence, Inuyasha. I've come to support her now, in her time of need, no matter what she has done.”

 

He turned around and looked at her. “So you actually believe that she's guilty?”

 

Kagome blushed. “I…I never said…that is to say…” Suddenly she couldn't string more than three words together at a time to form a coherent thought.

 

Inuyasha watched the woman he loved stand before him and fidget under his scrutinizing gaze, stammering like an idiot and fumbling with her hands, and suddenly his eyes went wide in recognition. Kagome only ever looked like that when she was hiding something, or felt extremely guilty.

 

“Kagome, did Kikyou tell you something in the letter she sent to you?” He asked carefully, watching as she refused to meet his gaze.

 

“What? No! Of course not! She wouldn't risk putting something so incriminating into a letter that anyone could intercept and read!” Kagome realized too late what she had just admitted…that if Kikyou hadn't told her anything in the letter, that meant she had to have known before, and that was the only letter Kagome had received, which meant…

 

She cringed as she watched Inuyasha's eyes grow wide in recognition before narrowing in sudden rage and hurt. The air around her suddenly felt heavy, and Kagome felt like she was being compressed into a tiny ball of quivering fear. She'd known he would eventually find out about her secrets…the secrets she'd help Kikyou keep…and yet that didn't change the fact that she felt suddenly so guilty and so afraid that she had ruined things between them forever.

 

“You…you knew?” He stammered, his voice clearly barely under control, along with his rage, and Kagome dared not move, not even to nod her head and admit her guilt. She saw him reach for the hilt of his sword, and for one brief instant she thought he might actually draw it on her, but then she saw his amber eyes flash red before returning to their normal amber color, and Kagome had a sudden vision of that day in her rooms when he had begun to change after she caused him to feel suddenly furious. He'd said something about needing his sword to keep his demon blood under control, and the fact that he was so furious now that he required such help caused Kagome to tremble.

 

Inuyasha couldn't believe it.

 

Kagome had known already that Kikyou had betrayed him by sleeping with someone else? She had known, and yet had still allowed them to proceed with the wedding?

 

He wasn't sure what he felt more: rage and betrayal that she would keep something like that from him, or hurt knowing that she had been given the key to ending all her suffering…the key that would have unlocked endless possibilities for the two of them…and yet she'd refused to use it. He thought he'd meant more to her than that…but perhaps he'd been wrong.

 

“Miroku,” he ground out his friend's name, and Miroku, who had been darting his eyes back and forth between the lovers trying to ascertain what was going on up until that moment, looked at the hanyou King.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Leave us. I need to speak with Kagome alone.”

 

“But do you really think that's such a good idea given the…”

 

“I just gave you a command, and unlike some would be friends I expect you to respect my wishes!”

 

Kagome blanched again at the direct insult, feeling his expertly thrown dagger successfully pierce her heart. She watched Miroku silently rise to his feet and move quickly towards the door, letting himself out as silently as possible, though Inuyasha didn't even turn to watch him go. He did wait, however, until he heard the door shut before he spoke again. And when he did, it was as though all the fires of hell had been unleashed.

 

“How could you keep something like that from me, Kagome? I thought we trusted one another more than that!”

 

“Inuyasha…”

 

“I told you so much about me! Things that I've never told anyone…not even Miroku. Did you know that, Kagome? I bet you didn't! You probably had no idea how rare it was for me to open up to you and trust you as much as I did! Yeah that's right…I trusted you! Do you even know what that word means? I thought you did.”

 

Kagome felt tears welling up in her eyes, partly from his hurtful words, and partly because she knew she deserved every insult coming from his lips. “Inuyasha, please stop…”

 

“No! You took advantage of me! I told you everything, while the whole time you were keeping Kikyou's dirty little secret locked away. You probably assumed I would be too stupid to figure it out, or thought I wouldn't care that my wife had betrayed me! That wouldn't surprise me in the least! You always thought you knew me better than everyone else, after all…you always told me how you felt so close to me…and yet, in the end, you didn't feel close enough to trust me with Kikyou's secret!”

 

“Inuyasha…” She felt her voice cracking, whimpering as a huge wave of emotion began to build inside her, preparing to crash on the shores of her heart. But he continued to ignore her.

 

“I could have helped her if you'd told me, Kagome! Don't you get that! If I'd known, I could have headed off the rumors and been ready when Naraku made his sudden announcement! But because you didn't trust me, I was blind sighted, and now, thanks to your stupidity and lack of trust in me, Kikyou's in the Tower!”

 

That was too much. Kagome could barely handle him telling her how much she had betrayed him, but now on top of all that he was saying Kikyou's predicament was entirely her fault.

 

The wave broke.

 

“Inuyasha, stop it!” Kagome practically screamed as she covered her ears once more and fell to her knees just as he was about to begin another tirade, weeping and ignoring the pain in her legs as she crumpled to the floor. “I swore to her I would never tell a soul about what she'd done! I swore I would never tell…not even you!” She looked up, her tear-stained cheeks and red eyes throwing Inuyasha slightly off balance, cooling his rage somewhat. “And you know something? It killed me! Every day I had to keep that secret it killed me, because I felt like I was betraying you, and every day I had to decide what was worse…betraying my sister, or betraying the man I loved!”

 

Kagome kept on sobbing, lowering her head once more and cradling it in her hands as she rocked back and forth, but Inuyasha's tirade came to a screeching halt as he slowly processed the last four words that she'd said.

 

He was the man that she…?

 

“Kagome?” Suddenly unsure of himself, Inuyasha sank to his knees on the furs lining the stone floor of his study, gently, almost nervously, placing his hands on Kagome's shoulders so that he could help her rise back into a sitting position on her knees.

 

She whimpered slightly as her sore legs protested slightly against the pain, and in the end Kagome was so exhausted from everything that had been going on in her life that she collapsed forward before she made it into an upright position…but this time Inuyasha, her beloved hanyou, was there to catch her.

 

The moment his strong, warm arms wrapped around her shoulders, Kagome felt her lips curve upward into a slight smile, some of her sorrow fading to the back of her mind as that sweet sense of security began to fall over her shoulders once more…the security that only he could offer her.

 

Recognizing that she couldn't fight it any more, Kagome simply sighed and gave in to her desire to wrap her arms around his waist, crawling into his lap and resting her cheek against his muscled chest, thinly veiled through his soft shirt. A sob nearly wracked her body once more as she felt him rest his chin atop her head, but this time it was out of joy. Kagome had finally come back to where she belonged, and she couldn't believe she'd been able to survive all those weeks without this precious, wonderful, beautiful, incredible man.

 

He was her life and her very purpose for living.

 

“Kagome…” Inuyasha breathed her name just as he also inhaled the scent of roses from her soft hair. God had returned his angel to him; his best friend. And he'd been an idiot and yet again nearly driven her away with his hurtful words. Yet she was still there, holding him and offering herself to him completely, telling him silently that she forgave him, and the thought nearly brought tears to his own eyes.

 

He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve this incredible woman who was so strong and so wonderful and who tried so valiantly to do right by everyone she met. And yet she had just said that she…

 

“Kagome, did you mean what you just said?”

 

Blinking, she remained where she was as she replied. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean were you telling me the truth when you said that you…well…” He blushed, still unable to say it aloud knowing that he was legally bound to another woman.

 

Kagome furrowed her brow in confusion for several more moments of silence, trying to figure out which part of her confession he was referring to, going over her exact words in her mind, when she suddenly stopped dead and her eyes went wide.

 

Oh God…she'd actually said it. She'd said the one thing she'd been trying so hard not to for so long. And she hadn't been hit by lightening for it, either. The thought actually brought a smile to her face.

 

“Kagome?”

 

She leaned away from him so that she could look into those beautiful amber eyes as she replied, a beaming smile on her face. “Yes, Inuyasha, I meant what I said.” She'd been restraining herself for so long, and now, suddenly, Kagome felt like she had been freed from ten thousand pounds of heavy chains, releasing her heart to fly away and do as it pleased. “I love you.”

 

He blinked, clearly trying to process what she was saying, but Kagome clearly saw joy blossoming in those amber orbs, and she wondered if Kikyou had ever actually told him that she loved him, even before they'd become engaged.

 

“Kagome, I…”

 

She put a finger over his lips, and he went instantly silent. “I know it's wrong…I know that I shouldn't feel this way. I know I'm a horrible person for telling my sister's husband that I love him while she's currently cold and miserable in the Tower, but I can't help how I feel. And,” she blushed and looked away, recalling his harsh words from a few moments ago, “In the sake of being honest with one another, I couldn't hold it back any longer.” She looked at him seriously. “I lived hundreds of miles away from you, Inuyasha, and I still couldn't get you out of my mind or my heart. You just refused to let me go…or I refused to let you go…” She actually found herself giggling at that. “I don't know which.”

 

“Kagome…” Inuyasha felt like an idiot, because all he was saying, over and over again, was her name, as though her very essence was a concept he was having a hard time processing. And yet, on some level, it was. He could hardly believe that this woman, who he admired so much…who was desired by so many men and could have any man of her choosing…would choose him, a hanyou. “You…you really feel that way even though I'm…I'm a half-breed?”

 

Her eyes softened even more at that, if that were possible, and Kagome boldly leaned forward and gently feathered her lips across first his forehead and then down the bridge of his nose. He shivered, feeling like he'd been touched by butterfly wings.

 

“It's because you're a half-breed, as you call it, that I love you so much, Inuyasha,” she replied honestly and sincerely. “You're different from everyone else, both physically and mentally. You have the kindest heart, beneath your cold exterior,” she winked,” And once you allowed me to see beyond your protective walls, I fell for you instantly.”

 

“But why me?” He looked baffled, and Kagome threw her head back and laughed, the sound ringing in his ears like beautiful church bells.

 

“Who knows? Because my heart chose you, Inuyasha…and try as I might to ignore it, my heart refused to let you go. That's why…” She looked away then, suddenly seeming to lose a little of her confidence. “That's why when I left the North I also left a note for Kouga saying I wanted to call off our engagement.”

 

That shocked him, and Inuyasha found himself blinking over and over again as he tried to comprehend what she had just said. She and Kouga…were no longer engaged? “But Kagome…I'm already married, and I know you would never lower yourself to simply being someone's mistress. So why would you throw away your own opportunity to at least marry well?”

 

She shrugged and gave him a look full of both sadness and love…and it broke his heart. “I couldn't be happy so long as I was away from you, Inuyasha. I finally realized when you sent me that letter that I had to be near you, whether you could be truly mine or not.” She looked down for a few seconds before looking back up at him, nibbling at her lower lip. “I will always serve my King, and be at his side whenever he needs me. That is my destiny, so long as you will allow me to stay with you.”

 

A long silence stretched between them then, and Inuyasha knew what she was wanting him to say…knew what she wanted to hear. And yet Kikyou's arrest earlier that day was still fresh in his mind, and he couldn't bring himself to say it back…not yet. Not while a part of him still felt loyal to the woman who had first shown him what passion felt like…though he readily admitted that what he'd shared with Kikyou paled in comparison to what he was feeling in that moment for Kagome.

 

He gazed into her dark eyes, seeing all the love he had never even dreamed of seeing from a woman such as herself, and sighed, allowing the back of his hand to reach up and caress her cheek. “Kagome, I know what I want to tell you, and what you deserve to hear, but…I just…can't. Not tonight, anyway.”

 

She blinked, her doe-like eyes trained on him for several seconds before she finally smiled sadly and looked away, though he thought she looked more resigned than hurt, as though she'd expected nothing less. “I understand. But I won't regret what I've said tonight. Now my conscience is clear, and no matter what happens henceforth I can know that I told the man I loved how much he meant to me.”

 

“Things are going to get very dangerous,” Inuyasha stated suddenly, feeling fear and the urgent need to protect his precious treasure pool in his gut.

 

“I know,” Kagome replied simply, shrugging her shoulders. “I knew it would be dangerous when I decided to come back. But I had to, Inuyasha…please try and understand that.”

 

“I promise to protect you,” he vowed, choosing to ignore what she said for the moment. After all, declaration of love aside, he was still not happy that she'd decided to disobey him and come back to the heart of the danger zone.

 

Kagome just smiled at his comment, and he leaned against her hand as she placed her palm against his cheek, relishing in how smooth his skin was. “I know that too.” She leaned forward and, in a move that was far bolder than she normally tended to be, Kagome brushed her lips against his, feeling him quiver.

 

Suddenly she felt two arms pull her against him in a vice-like grip as he passionately returned the kiss, trying to tell her through his actions all the things he didn't tell her in words. She understood, and allowed herself to savor the moment as she clung to him just as forcefully.

 

But then she felt one of his hands unclasp her cloak and push it away before moving for the strings of her bodice, and Kagome felt herself come crashing back to reality as she put her hands firmly on Inuyasha's chest and pushed herself away. Looking into his eyes, she saw that he was just as drunk with passion as she, and just as mad with desire, but she also knew she could not allow it to happen…not now.

 

“No, Inuyasha,” she said firmly, taking a deep breath and urging her heart to slow down. “Like you said, I would never lower myself to being your mistress, especially while you're married to my sister, who is currently charged with being unfaithful to you.”

 

Inuyasha felt several emotions warring with one another in his breast, some telling him to ignore what she was saying and try to convince her to change her mind, while his more rational side knew she was right. They would be no better than Kikyou had been with Naraku, and then the older Higurashi sister would have no leg to stand on whatsoever, and the royal family that Inutaisho had worked so hard to establish would lose all respect and loyalty from the court and people of the country.

 

So once again they would both be forced to put their own feelings aside for the greater good…and Inuyasha had never hated his position as a King more. The crown on his head was keeping him away from the woman he loved, and he would never forgive his father or his country for placing such a mantle of responsibility on his shoulders.

 

“Then what can we do, Kagome?” He finally asked. “How can we survive this?”

 

Kagome couldn't help but smile as she heard him use plural nouns, meaning he was admitting to feeling just as tormented as she was.

 

Leaning over, she resumed her former position in his lap with her head against his chest, and sighed. “You can just hold me like this and keep me safe, Inuyasha. That will be enough.”

 

“Will it Kagome?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes, feeling the exhaustion that had been building for the past six days on the road finally overtake her. “It has to be, Inuyasha. There is no other way.”

 

It was his turn to sigh as he once more rested his chin on top of her head, both hearing and feeling as her breathing gradually slowed down, telling him that she was falling asleep. He needed to get her to a bed so that she could get a good night's rest.

 

As gently as he could he began to rise to his feet, slowly shifting her so that she was resting bridal style in his arms, her head against his right shoulder while her legs were hanging over his left arm. He cradled her to him almost reverently as he finally reached his full height, watching as her midnight-blue cloak fell away from her completely to pool on the ground, leaving her in nothing more than her simple blue travel gown that was stained with mud. Her hair was falling about her face in unkempt tendrils, though they had finally begun to dry, and overall Inuyasha thought it gave her face a soft, peaceful look as her skin reflected the glow of the fire.

 

“Inuyasha?” She mumbled as he began to walk towards the door. “Where are we going?”

 

“To put you to bed,” he replied softly, as though she were already asleep and he didn't want to wake her.

 

“Won't somebody see you carrying me this way?”

 

“They're all down at dinner right now.”

 

“Won't they wonder where you are?”

 

Even half-asleep her mind was still as sharp as ever, and he felt a slight twinge of the usual annoyance. Couldn't she give him a little more credit than that? “Kagome, my wife was just arrested today on the charges of treason…I think the court will forgive me if I don't appear at dinner for one night.”

 

“Oh…” Her eyes were hazy as she looked up at him, and he couldn't help but smile at how innocent and helpless she seemed. “I don't know if Yuka has my rooms ready yet.”

 

He chuckled. “I figured I'd just take you to my chambers for tonight. The bed's certainly big enough.” It was a testament to how exhausted she was when Kagome didn't even protest such a scandalous idea, and by the time Inuyasha actually reached his rooms she was nearly asleep in his arms.

 

Gently he laid her down in between the soft sheets of his down comforter and feather mattress, pulling the covers up around her ears and watching as she instinctively curled into a tight little protective ball, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Smiling tenderly, he turned to leave, but then realized that this was probably the only time he would get to spend alone with Kagome again for a while, because starting tomorrow everyone at court would know that she had come back. And so, with that thought in mind, he crawled up onto the bed and crawled beneath the sheets as well without even bothering to remove his shirt or pants, instead simply spooning up against Kagome's back and wrapping an arm protectively around her waist.

 

Instead of pulling away from him, Kagome instead uncurled from her fetal position slightly, leaning back against his warmth slightly, and Inuyasha felt himself smile in contentment as he too began to feel drowsy. It had been a long day, and the next several weeks were no doubt going to push him to his limits in terms of patience and emotional stability, and yet, suddenly, it all seemed doable for one reason: Kagome was at his side once more, and had promised that she'd never leave his side again…unless he told her to leave.

 

Keh…like that was going to happen.