InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Torrent ❯ Perception ( Chapter 48 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

~~Chapter 48~~
Kagome stared at InuYasha's straight back. He sat in the doorway gazing at the sunset. He hadn't moved in awhile. Tajiko, content to sit in his lap, sighed happily and tugged at his prayer beads.
He'd been preoccupied ever since they'd returned home awhile ago. She could tell he was thinking about something. She only wished she had a clue as to what it was.
`Taji hungry.'
Kagome shook herself and stepped forward to take the girl from her father. “Hungry, huh? You tired, angel? Grandma said you didn't sleep very well.”
`Taji want Mama. Taji want Papa.'
The baby settled to nurse, twirling her hair around her chubby little finger. Kagome figured that she would have to stop that habit, eventually. But if it offered her comfort now, then Kagome wouldn't stop her. “Grandma said you surprised Uncle Souta.”
Taji sighed. `Taji talk Souta. Souta talk loud.'
Kagome grinned. She could imagine her brother's shock when the tiny girl started mind-speaking to him.
All too soon, though, Tajiko's eyelids grew heavy, and her small mouth broke away from Kagome's breast. Content to hold her while she slept, Kagome didn't move to put her to bed right away. Smoothing Tajiko's hair away from her face, marveling at the softness of those silvery strands, Kagome smiled tenderly as she stared at the girl. Her hair was getting quite long already, well past her shoulders and curling softly at the ends. Those black eyelashes were still impossibly long. `If her eyebrows were silver, she really would look exactly like an angel.' Lifting the sleeping child to her shoulder, Kagome closed her eyes as she held her daughter close, breathing in the sweet smell of her, feeling a tremendous peace settle over her. `That doesn't matter. She is my angel.'
“Let me put her to bed,” InuYasha said softly. Kagome opened her eyes as he took the girl. She whimpered softly. He cuddled her as he headed back toward her room.
She watched him go with a slight frown. She wanted to know what was on his mind. Why did he seem so pensive?
He reemerged from the small bedroom with a smile on his face though his eyes still seemed troubled. “I missed her.”
Digging around in her backpack, Kagome sighed. “I did, too. It seems like she grew while she was gone, didn't it?”
“Not that much. She wasn't even gone three days.”
Kagome ripped open an energy bar and nibbled off a bite. “Still. I'm glad she's home.”
InuYasha wrinkled his nose at the food Kagome was eating. She had picked them up at a health food store. They were supposed to be balanced nutrition and perfect for nursing mothers. InuYasha said they smelled funny and hadn't wanted her to eat any of them. But she had given him a pointed look and said that she wanted to eat them for Tajiko, and he had relented though only after sitting down and reading the label thoroughly with a dictionary of common food terms beside him.
He sank down before her. She tweaked his ears. “Want a bite?” she asked, offering him the bar.
He made a face and jerked back. “No, thanks.” For good measure, he watched her eat more of it with a marked scowl. “How can you eat that?”
“It's not so bad,” she replied. “They put dates in it for sweetness.”
His distaste became more apparent the more she ate. It was all she could do not to roll her eyes. `He gripes if I don't eat then he does when I do . . . . Make up my mind, will you?'
They had eaten a late lunch today, and it was well past dinner time when they'd gone through the well to come home. She wasn't hungry, but she didn't want to skip a meal, either. He, on the other hand, probably was. “You want me to make you something to eat?”
He shook his head and sighed. “No . . . .”
Little warning bells clanged in her head. InuYasha only used that tone when he wanted to say something that really bothered him. Maybe he was finally ready to talk about why he'd been so quiet the last couple of days. She shoved the empty wrapper into a plastic bag in her backpack and settled back to listen.
He raked his claws over the floor. Kagome steeled herself. He only did that when he was really worried or irritated. Either one didn't bode well. Still she waited.
“I don't think we should get married in your time,” he finally said, glowering at the floor as his claws scraped.
Kagome swallowed hard, fighting down the pain that swelled in her chest. “I understand,” she forced herself to say and was oddly proud of herself for not allowing her voice to waver.
“You do?” he asked, glancing up at her.
She jerked her head in response and swallowed the thick lump in her throat that tried to choke her. “Sure. I mean, it was bad enough, what happened. But then I kept it from you, and . . . saying that I'm sorry just isn't enough, is it?”
His frown was back but this time he looked more confused than angry. “What?”
Anger nudged aside the hurt, indignation that he would actually make her spell it out to him. “This is all about what happened with Sesshoumaru, isn't it?”
His eyes widened in surprise and he sat back, as though that thought hadn't even occurred to him. “Why are we talking about that bastard?”
“Why else wouldn't you want to marry me?”
“I never said I didn't want to marry you!”
“Yes you did!”
“Did not!”
“InuYasha, you just said---”
“Feh!” he hollered. “I know what I said, bitch! I said I don't think we should get married in your time!
She blinked, her anger fading as quickly as it had come as she stared at him. “What do you mean?”
He wasn't quite as ready to lose his own irritation, and he scowled at her. “I mean, if we get married in your time, then we won't really be married here.”
She considered what he said but shook her head slowly. “Not following,” she admitted, rubbing her temple slowly.
He growled in frustration, scraping his claws against the floor again. She ground her jaws together as the sound grated against her nerves. “Kagome . . . if we get married in your time, when we come back here we won't be getting married for another five hundred years.”
Sudden understanding filtered over her, and Kagome's mouth rounded in wonder as she said, “Ohh . . . .” The truth of his statement occurred to her, and she shifted her eyes to lock with his. “I didn't even think of that.”
He sighed and let his forehead drop into her lap, shaking his head slightly from side to side. “Why can't anything ever be easy?” he complained.
Kagome smiled. “Is this what you've been thinking about the last couple of days?”
He sat up and nodded. “Yeah. I wasn't sure, and I didn't want you to worry about it, too.”
She made a face. “It's better than what I thought.”
“What did you think?”
She shrugged, trying to make light of it even though the thought still hurt. “I thought . . . I thought you didn't want to marry me anymore.”
“Feh! And why would you think a fucking stupid thing like that?”
“I told you why! I thought you couldn't forgive me for kissing---”
He shot forward, wrapping his long fingers around her upper arms and forcing her to look at him. “That was his fault, not yours. He said as much! I don't know what sort of crap he did to trick you, and honestly, I don't care! He's never coming near you again, so stop thinking that I blame you! You're my mate, damn it, and I love you!”
Her heart thundered in her ears as she stared at him. Though he yelled at her, she didn't doubt for a moment that he meant it. She made a sound low in her throat that could only be considered a growl as he dragged her off the futon and against his body.
His mouth fell over hers, intercepting her growl. It was lost between them as he overwhelmed her. She hung on to his haori, afraid to let him go, unable to do more than to let him drive her even as an odd sound filtered to her. Growing more insistent, the sound was something that she needed to answer. “InuYasha . . . .?” she whispered, trying to pull back. Suddenly the noise made sense, and she summoned the last of her resistance to move away.
“What now?” he growled, glaring at Kagome until the sound broke through his haze-engulfed mind, too. “Damn!” he hissed as he hopped to his feet.
Kagome didn't trust herself to move. Her fingers were trembling as she fumbled with the buttons on her blouse. InuYasha seemed to have his emotions back under control as he slowly emerged from Tajiko's bedroom with the whining child. Kagome winced at the words that Tajiko kept echoing over and over, `Papa yell Mama . . . Papa yell Mama . . . .'
“It's okay, angel baby. Papa's not angry.”
`Papa yell Mama . . . .'
InuYasha shot Kagome a pained look over Tajiko's head as he handed Kagome their daughter. Kagome worked to calm the girl's upset as InuYasha paced the floor. “Why don't you come over here and show her that you're not angry?” she asked softly.
InuYasha hesitantly came to them and knelt beside them. “Papa's sorry, baby girl,” he whispered.
Tajiko's great golden eyes stared at him without blinking. `Mama . . . .'
“Shh, it's okay, Taji. Papa's not mad at Mama,” Kagome said and added for good measure, “and Mama isn't mad at Papa.”
Tajiko whimpered and burrowed closer to Kagome. Finally, she reached out and grabbed InuYasha's finger. `Mama loves Papa?'
Kagome nodded. “Yes.”
`Papa love Mama?'
InuYasha smiled slightly. “Yeah.”
Tajiko sighed. Kagome felt her relax in her arms. InuYasha eased visibly, too.
`Taji safe. Taji happy.'
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Review Q & A
SilverStarWing (FFnet):
What was InuYasha thinking? He should get her a ring.
Not so sure about a ring. He probably will. He had some rather … frighteningly deep questions though, I thought … lol!
Dreaming-Sensations (FFnet):
Why didn't InuYasha answer Kagome's question? Kagome needs to stop spiraling into depression and learn to trust in InuYasha. Hopefully things work out! Happy Writing!
Well, I think that he thought he had. His asking what her last name would be and then repeating it was, in essence, his acceptance of the situation. He tends to do this to her, answering her questions in a somewhat vague way when a simple `yes' or `no' would be sooooo much better. (Sounds a bit like my husband. Hmmmm… )
ladystrider77 ( FFnet):
I keep having to read this like.. four chapters at a time, due to my inability to get on the computer, but this always gives me something to look forward to. I love the way your write InuYasha and do a wonderful job, brilliant. The idea of the hanyou at the opera is stunning, something I'd love to see.
“The Hanyou of the Opera!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I dunno, I just think that there's more to the hanyou than meets the eye. I really do think that he'd enjoy the opera, though I also believe he'd NEVER admit it!
Angelstars (MMorg):
Adorable, their first date was sweet. I loved his confusion between movie and opera theatres give him due credit though, least he's trying, love him. *It might be just me, but I'm having Tajiko withdrawal…. I swear she's like an addiction; you can't help but want more and more!! I felt that way with Toga though, and lookie; new one-shots focusing around him!! (Must r&r) Sighs, could I feel anymore sorry for Kagome and InuYasha right now? Not only do they both contradict the other in their own beliefs and issue concerning their love; Kagome now thinks the worse! Oh but wait! The worst has yet to come… Sesshoumaru… Ahhh! Will the inseparable couple ever get wed? Will InuYasha and Kagome ever get a clue? Will Sesshoumaru ever admit to whatever he feels about Kagome and/or InuYasha!? Will Taji come home to a broken family? Will I ever stop loving this addictive and angst-y plot?!?! (As if!)
You'd think that they'd start talking a little more, ne? Ahhh good thing they don't because otherwise I'd be able to wrap everything up. Thing is, I feel almost as though I'm dragging my feet here, because I'm not looking forward to ending this fic, any more than I wanted to finish Purity. (And yes, Toga's back and hopefully, a few fics from now, I'll have enough back-story to work out the sequel to Purity … )
Hold on, Sesshoumaru will eventually be back. I'm thinking he may have gone on vacation to lick his IY-induced neck wounds … Never fear though, it's all coming together …
szmadad (MMorg):
I have to compliment you on your writing. I can't believe how prolific you update so quickly and move the story along so well. Ever since reading "Purity" I've admired your way of depicting the characters' relationships and development. I guess here is where I differ from everyone else on the Sessh bandwagon :) I'm sort of indifferent to him...I like him with Rin...with Kagura...with anyone BUT Kagome. I am a rabid Inu-Kag fan and feel entirely hot and bothered at the way he's been manipulating Kagome's feelings from the time she and InuYasha mated. I feel that he is testing her and his brother...almost as a social experiment "let's see what the doggy does if we use this stimulus"...and while he has done his part with meddling in their relationship by playing on Kagome's fears...he also has only told InuYasha half the truth behind the kiss he shared with his sister in law. And it seems that yet again, lack of communication is causing things to fester between Inu-Kag. Just as with the whole Kikyou situation, Kagome is staying quiet about her fears and what Sessh told her InuYasha would do upon finding out about the kiss. That's perhaps the strangest thing to me about the story's depiction of Kagome...her character has always struck me as being honest and open with her feelings...that's where she gets her strength of character from. And yet, when it comes to InuYasha.. She keeps so much inside. I'd write more, but I think I'm out of space :)
I love Sesshoumaru, as a character. As a love interest for our dear Kagome? Nooooooooo….. There are so many levels of wrong-ness here that I just can't even begin to name them all. I do think, though, that there is an interesting fascination that he harbors for her. She's probably the strongest human he's ever encountered. As for the InuYasha/Kagome dynamic . . . I think that they do tend to keep things bottled up*IF* they perceive that it may hurt the other. That, I think, is the crux of the difficulty they're having here. Well, and the big, bad wolf, errr, dog … Fear not. Sesshoumaru will let his reasons be known… eventually.
Akihanah (FFnet):
Opera was brilliant. It was even better that they both liked it. I hope their relationship repairs itself more. It sucks to love someone but to not know how they feel.(of course, sometimes knowing is worse) Good job, and you are still Update Goddess.
Bow to me, the Goddess of Updates … lol! No, I just love writing… and to be honest? I adore InuYasha and Kagome enough that they're easy to write. If I switch gears and take on another couple, it may be a little longer between updates LOL. But these two . . . they're just easy to write, IMO.
Enchanted Dreamer (FFnet):
Love, love, love, love, love, love this! I've read all of your stories! I think their all absolutely great!
Awwww, InuYasha can be so sweet when he chooses to be. I think that you nailed it dead on when you said: `He just never learns . . . which could be why I adore him.' I can definitely apply that to several of my relationships, haha. Sometimes I think you are nothing but a truth writing machine! lol. Even when you make stuff up and admit to the 100% falseness of it-- It still seems real so it must be! hehehehe. Here's something I don't think that I've commented on before. I love the interaction you have going on here between the readers and yourself. It adds a nice touch. Once again- great job. I feel my self talking and pronouncing words in the voice of Anchorman's Ron Burgendy again. I'm not going to lie to you, this happens quite often. Oh no. Stay classy. ---
Just looking at some of the other reviews and szmadad's really caught my eye----The part where she (?) said that he's just conducting social experiments. Could it be that Sesshoumaru is one of the first Social Psychologists? Can't you just see him formulating his hypotheses in his lab or something. His research methods, all the meddling that he does, is his way of collecting data to test the validity of his hypothesis. All of this seems to profile him except the part about psychologists studying the human mind and human behavior-- But InuYasha is half human so would that still count? hahaha. I really have gotten far off the track now with this little rant, huh? -OR- Sesshoumaru is probably just doing it because he's the Lord of the Western Lands and he can do whatever the hell he pleases. Lol
LOL! You all crack me up, seriously! Sometimes I think I write the chapters because I want to hear what you're all thinking! “This Sesshoumaru would never demean myself to studying the simplicities of the humans. They are beneath me!” Honestly, though, I think Sesshoumaru might actually admit (at least to himself, therefore to us) what his true intentions were all along. I'm pretty sure there is more than one reason that he does what he does. It'll be interesting …
made (FFnet):
Its on memory I don't know where it is. Is there an email address or web
The only thing I can tell you is to click on my FFnet bio page at the top of any of the chapters, and there is a link there to all my fanfics hosted at mediaminer, just because of the lemon issue.
Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Torrent): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.