Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ A Pilot's Fate ❯ Chapter 2

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

A Pilot's Fate
Ch. 2
Ronin Setora

a/n: Uhm, a bit of correction. This is not after the "End of Evangelion".
This fic is based after the end of the Evangelion series. You know, after
episode 26? not the movie/special thing. Just to clear that up. And yes,
I had brought Kaji back, jus' cuz I freakin felt like it.
---------------------------

"You don't know what you're talking about. You must be ill."
Within the past two days Asuka had been startled and surprised again
and again. First that, right when she regained the feeling that she
could have Kaji, he was hesitant to reveal a critical truth. Then that
she, who had always done well at keeping feelings to herself, would end
up in tears over a matter she secretly knew she would never win. Even
past that, for Shinji to have become such a different person, daring
enough to want to comfort her, to even use terms of affection
contradictory to their relationship, was so much it would have driven
some to insanity.
And in this most recent day, that she would stoop so low as to mock
Rei. Even that she would be jealous of Rei, the only one that went
through a change greater than Shinji, was frightening. Feelings toward
certain people she thought she would never feel were tearing at Asuka's
mind, leaving her to act like a helpless little girl. The insecurity
that had always been nearby now polluted her mind and twisted her words
into shapes of longing and hatred.
"Forget it... I think something is wrong with me today."
To Hikari, without even speaking, Asuka was being strangely open. It
seemed as though something major had happened to crack her shell,
making her as easy to read as a child's book. This, as far as Hikari
could tell, was not the Asuka Langhley Soryu everyone knew. But despite
the questions she had, Hikari thought better than to try to understand
the broken girl before her, her thoughts actually drifting to the ice
cream she had left downstairs... with Touji of all people.
Nomatter how things were different between them, she knew the cold
snack SHE had paid for was not safe in Touji's hands. Seeing Asuka was
looking more herself, tears wiped away, Hikari went calmly out the door
then ran down the stairs. Asuka looks into a mirror at her bedside, her
red hair falling about her shoulders. The eyes looking back at hers
seemed, at first, of another person then became normal. In a voice cold
enough to kill, she spoke quietly, watching her lips move,
"Ikari's not that damn important. I never needed that spineless hentai
before, I don't..."
The proud teenager never finished her sentence before questioning her
coming declaration.

Resisting a very powerful urge to interupt the action of two kids she
knew very well but never would have imagined together, Misato coninued
in her rush to make it to work.
Shinji and Rei pulled apart, searching each other's eyes for any sign of pleasure.
At the same moment they seemed to realize that, even
though nothing about them was as it used to be, nothing between them
could ever change. Shinji was first to break eye contact, the pitiful
form of himself returning momentarily and the only word that form
seemed to know slipped from his mouth against his will,
"Gomen."
They sat in silence for a few moments then rose from the table and
walked out of the cafe, the silence that had, up until recently, always
been between them, awkward but tolerable at once, fell over the pair as
they moved slowly toward a store. In her quiet voice, showing no
amusement or sadness at the feeling between them, Rei reminded Shinji,
"You cook tonight."

As Shinji and Rei stepped into the house, the feeling of a changed
atmosphere was obvious to Asuka who lay on the couch under lamplight
with a magazine. At the sound of shifting bags she called to the pair
that had moved to the kitchen,
"Hikari and Touji went out."
From Shinji came a sigh, as he noted the money Touji now owed him.
*
With the exception of the sound of a dinner of fried fish being cooked,
the house was silent, Asuka absorbed in her magazine and Rei in a book
she had been reading for almost a week. When the hallway phone rang,
breaking the silence like a hammer to glass, neither of the ladies
shifted but for Rei to turn a page while a light expletive could be
heard from the kitchen.
Shinji made it to the phone by the third ring and answered with
annoyance,
"Hai, moshi-moshi. Nani ga?"
A voice Shinji hadn't heard in a few days replied calmly, though a hint
of curiousity came through the receiver,
"What were you doing with Rei this afternoon?"
He sighed and spoke as steadily as he could with the memory of the
empty kiss he had shared with his comrade,
"That's not important Misato-san."
"How can you say that?!"
Over time, Shinji had developed both confidence and stubborness,
stepping gingerly on the thin line between them. In the occasion, he
slipped over to stubborness, his sharp reply startling Misato,
"Just drop it. It's not important."
As Misato recovered from the once timid boy's snap, a curl of smoke
emerged from the kitchen, Shinji dropped another expletive, rather
loudly this time. He said a quick goodbye and hung up, rushing back to
the kitchen, hoping to salvage the fish. After a desperate attempt none
could see, the following sound made even Rei flinch,
"Stupid piece of sh__!! Damned..." Shinji's voice dropped to a mumble,
which left Asuka and Rei wide-eyed in surprise. As Rei turned another
page, Asuka spoke,
"Pizza?"
The two for once shared an idea, neither commenting further while Rei
walked to the phone. Another aggravated yell came from the kitchen as
she dialed.

"I don't want to be alone..."
'Do you want to join your Mother?'
"NO! Don't stop being my Mama! I'll be a good kid! No!!"
'Do you love... your Mother?'
"...she looked so happy... I hated the way she looked..."
'Papa hates Mama... let's die together...'
"I want to live alone. I don't need Papa or Mama."
Asuka rolled from under her cover as her dreams circled in her mind.
"why... why now?"
She shook weakly, her tears unable to flow.
"...i... i still cannot cry..."
Her throat was hoarse to where she could barely hear her own voice in the
room. As she looked around at the room she had so many times longed for,
she found no happiness there. The magazines, clothes, and discarded
objects lay scattered about; everything she had wanted space for during
her stay with Misato, and yet she found nothing pleasant about it.
Asuka's thoughts drifted to Shinji...
She shook her head violently.
"...baka-hentai... hmph."
Her eyes began to close and a flash scene of her mother again haunted
her. Slowly, Asuka rose and walked out of the room, hoping to escape the
torment of her dreams.
* At the same time...
Shinji slept with a smile upon his face, pleasant dreams of his Father's
only kind words to him spinning in his head. Slowly the dream turned sour
as Gendo's words changed from "Good work, Shinji" to "Cut all neuro-
links. Activate the dummy plug." In the crystal clear view of one's
memory, Shinji witnessed again the horrific images of Unit 01 destroying
what was labeled as 13th Angel Bardiel. His dreams were so graphic, the
smell of the blood after emergence from his EVA came to him, consumed him
and inflicted nausea upon him.
The smile Shinji had carried in sleep became a scowl, then the look of a
scream. As his eyes pulled slowly open, silence came from his spread
lips. He shook as he attempted to rise, his mind in turmoil with painful
memories of death.
"...what has happened... that this must be brought back now...?"
The Third Child stumbled toward his door and stopped right before it.
"...Kaworu..."
Shinji continued out onto the stairway in attempt to leave behind the
terrors of his past actions. Again he stopped,
"...would this be running... away?"
Thoughts of his determination to never again back down or run away from
anything came to him.
He pondered his own words, then turned back. His eyes opened wide. He
whispered,
"...Asuka?"
The Second Child eyed him for a moment, hate for the world in them.
A clock chimed twelve times, signifying midnight. Still the two stood,
neither moving.
A single tick, advancement of one minute. Silence.
Shinji smiled, "Guten morgen Asuka."
She glared at him, "Shut up."
Asuka turned and ran back to her room, locked the door and collapsed upon
her bedding. Outside, Shinji stood in wonder,
"Asuka..."
* Still at the same (general) time
Misato sat upon her bed, smiling. Shinji's annoyed responses pleased her
but troubled her also.
"He... seems to fully express himself now but..."
Pen-Pen, who had been recovered from the Horaki family, traveled through
the room and collected from Misato's private Yebisu stash. He let a small
squeal, one that seemed almost of concern for his owner. Misato continued,
"...but something is bothering him."
She thought of what she said about the word "nothing" to him long ago.
"He does not hesitate as much... but still won't open up."
She remembered that deep within the annoyance was contempt... perhaps
even sadness from what she could hear at the time.
Pen-Pen continued out the room, soon after, the sound of his personal
fridge opening reached Misato's ears.
"I am no longer his guardian... but he could still trust me couldn't he? Why
will he not open up to me...?"
She lay on her back and stared at the ceiling.
"Maybe he's right... it's no concern of mine what happened then... but
isn't it my concern how he's feeling... as a friend?"
Misato sighed, shut her eyes, and curled up toward an old picture of
herself, Ritsuko and Kaji, all looking quite happy.
"Friend... Ritsuko..."

Shinji woke early, to hissing and slight banging. He looked around,
confused at first, then found himself to be on the couch, in front of the
television. He had slept there after his encounter with Asuka earlier in
the morning, not wishing to sleep in his bed as it seemed to ressurect
bad memories. His muscles were stiff and his hair was... frighteningly
disheveled. The Third Child rose and started up the stairs toward the
bathroom and quiet humming reached him from the kitchen.
He went back down and looked in. There was Rei, living up to her chore of
making breakfast that day. Her humming brought a pleasant conversation
back to Shinji as he continued up the stairs.
"Like a mother..."
He again knew not what he felt about Rei and as he felt even this, an
unexpected guilt came over him with thoughts of...
"...Asuka?"
He spoke quietly to himself,
"That doesn't make sense."

~To be Continued
a/n: not much revealed here. I am feeling inspired enough to continue
very soon though. (That happens when you buy the perfect Collection and
watch it twice in two days... EVA marathons are fun!!)

"Hai, moshi-moshi" = "Yes, hello (for phone only)"
"Gomen" = "Sorry"