Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Stupid Cupid and the Match Maker ❯ The Matching Game Part two ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Chapter Seven: The Matching Game Part two,

Asuka: It's the----- hand of serchiee #1.. waheheheh! What are you thinking?…! wahehehe…

Students: (sigh)

Hikari: (to serchiee #1) hehe.. your hands, it's so smooth and so small..

Asuka: (to serchiee #1) wahahaha! Are you a girl! Next..

Hikari: (serchiee #2) God! It's so, so cold!

Asuka: hahaha! Maybe he's already dead! Next..

Hikari: (serchiee #3) Rough one..

Asuka: uhmmm… hehe.. next!

Hikari: (serchiee #4) hmm.. so hard!

Asuka: I don't care! Haha! Okay, Hikari.. next part..

Hikari: (serchiee #1) ehehe… it's so small..

Asuka: That part is the nose.. huwahaha! Maybe you really are a girl! Next..

Hikari: (serchiee #2) It's so long! Wahahah!

Asuka: God! Are you the long lost son of Pinocchio! Hahaha!

Hikari: (serchiee #3) Just fine..

Asuka: Okay. Next!

Hikari: (serchiee #4) So oily!

Asuka: ewwwe… So here's the next part Hikari..

Hikari: (serchiee #1) Skin and Bones!

Asuka: Tsk.. tsk.. poor kid, your malnourish! Eat fruits and vegetables okay?.. just a friendly advice.. ohh.. that part is the chest..

Hikari: (serchiee #2) Oh my! So hairy!

Asuka: Yuck! Is that a forest?…

Hikari: (serchiee #3) It's.. so hard..

Asuka: Muscles or steel?.. next..

Hikari: (serchiee #4) Just fine..

Asuka: Next part..

Hikari: (serchiee #1) I can feel layers of it..

Asuka: Really? (serchiee #1 show that part) God! Is that what you called abs or------ ribs! Gwahahaha! Now, the part is ribs.. what I mean! Is abs..

Hikari: Your so mean Asuka.. (serchiee #2) It's so fluffy..

Asuka: hehehe.. full of fats and cholesterol… tsk! Tsk! If serchiee #1 need vitamins and minerals you have to register to the gym.. okay?..

Hikari: (serchiee #3) Hard again…

Asuka: as always!

Hikari: (serchiee #4) just fine..

Asuka: So, here's the last part..

Hikari: (serchiee #1) So soft, small and----dry!

Asuka: Poor fellah.. your malnourished and now your anemic.. The last part is the lips guys..

Hikari: (serchiee #2) Just fine.. (serchiee# 3) soft.. (serchiee #4) just fine..

Asuka: so. We're now done on our Touch me here, Touch me there, Touch me everywhere game.. next part! Q & A!

Asuka led Hikari back to her seat.

Asuka: Here's my first question.. Define LOVE..

Serchiee #1: L-O-V-E.. hehehehe..

Asuka: he-he-he-he.. I said define not `spell'!

Serchiee #2: Greatest love of all..

Asuka: So? What's it?

Serchiee #2: Greatest love—of all?..

Asuka: So! What's the meaning of that!

Serchiee #2: Uhmm.. Greatest love of all!

Asuka: Argh! Whatever! Greatest love of all your face!

Serchiee #3: Short cut of lab-oratory!

Asuka: Gosh! That's the corniest joke I've ever heard!

Serchiee #4: Full of mysteries.

Asuka: Okay. Next question.. Part of Hikari that you like most..

Serchiee #1: her bre----

Asuka and Hikari: (cut him) PERVERT!

Serchiee #2: Her.. Her.. Her.. Eyebrows?

Asuka: OH! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PART! I'm AMAZED!

Serchiee #3: all of her..

Serchiee #4: Eyes, for it is the window of our soul..

Asuka: Good answer.. but--- I'm wondering where's the door?..

Students and Hikari—Okay let's include the serchiees: (Sigh)

Asuka: Fine! It's corny! I know! Hekhek.. Next question.. Book that you'll give to Hikari..

Serchiee #1: The Kama Sutra..

Asuka and Hikari: YUCKIEE!

Hikari: Can you just go home and date yourself!

Serchiee #2: Romeo and Juliet..

Hikari: I like that…

Asuka: the truth he doesn't know any other books.. wakokoko..

Serchiee #3: Bible..

Asuka: Holy------Shit..

Serchiee #4: Poems.. a book about love poems.

Asuka: not that bad.. Last question, Hikari's personality that strike you most..

Serchiee #1: She's the----------Class Rep?…

Asuka: WOW! (clapping her hands) What a nice personality Hikari! Serchiee #1…. Wanna go home now?

Serchiee #2: she's… she's… hot?..

Asuka: nice one! And your cold?

Serchiee #3: She's simple, one of a kind and unique..

Serchiee #4: Beautiful in her own style..

Asuka: Good answers #3 and #4.. uhmmm… #1 and #2 yah can go home now.. hehe.. joke! So.. this is it! Hikari's going to choose now..

Hikari: uhhmmm… hmmm… (thoughts) #3 or #4.. #3 or #4.. it's so hard.. okay.. this is it.. (out loud) Serchiee #4…

Asuka: But before you came out of that cubicle..

Asuka removed Hikari's blind folds..

There they saw a boy standing.. he's tall.. tall.. tall.. tall.. just.. tall!

Hikari: What The! He's #4! Uhmm.. me, change my mind!

Asuka: Ngerk! Wait! Hey you! I said #4! Not #1! Go back inside!

Serchiee #1: why! You said I'll go home now…

Asuka: Later! So go back! Move!

Serchiee #1: Yes ma'am! Sorry!

Asuka: Serchiee #4.. you can come out now..

Then a guy came out of the cubicle.. he's tall.. tall.. tall.. okay! He's kinda handsome, black eyes.. he's……

Asuka: God! What are you doing here! Who are you!

Serchiee #4: I'm from the 4th year class…

Asuka and Hikari: 4th year class!

Hikari: But how! What! Why! When!

Asuka: did yah register?.. I never noticed you! How did yah know that we're having a matching game?

Serchiee #4: Well, someone saw me at the front of your room during lunch.. I asked him about the game and he asked me if I'm interested. He's one of the serchiees and he said that if I want to I can take his place to be one of the contestants. He also said all he wanted is to talk to you even for only a minute or two that's why he registered. So sad because he's chosen to be one of the serchiees even if didn't want to, so I'm here to replace him.

Asuka: Oh my.. what a story.. but.. sorry to tell you this.. YOUR DISQUALIFIED!

Serchiee #4: WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!

Asuka: Of course I can! Go home and sleep! Just dream that your dating Hikari.. okay?.. go! Shoo!

Serchiee #4: Your so cruel! If you'll disqualify me.. I will kill myself! I'll attempt suicide and my ghost will haunt you forever! Awhooo…

Asuka: SHUT UP! I don't care! Then die right now! I'll give you some tips for attempting suicide. First, you can shot yourself by a gun and if you want to an m-16 in the head or in the heart in case that your still alive because your head exploded but your heart continues to beat. Second and the corniest way, drink poison or jump in a 100 story high building. Third! The supah corniest way! Is to stop breathing by covering your nose and your mouth or simply cutting your nose or stitching your mouth in case your hand is too tired in holding or covering it. After doing that stuffs, you can inform people that you killed yourself and your not murdered by someone or something like that is you have to put a paper saying you attempt suicide to a place where anyone can see it easily. At your forehead. Then choose the right song for your funeral with the right clothes. Should be a decent cloth and a very solemn song. Wear a tutu and song of Linkin Park! Like somewhere I belong. Do you want to know where? At the cemetery! REST IN PEACE!

Hikari: ASUKA! That is so mean!..

Asuka: Sorry! But.. am not kidding…

Serchiee #4: you mean.. I should really attempt suicide that way?

Asuka: NO! you take that seriously huh.. I said! Your disqualified! Better luck next time..

Serchiee #4: Fine! Sorry! I'll go now! Bye!

Asuka and Hikari: Bye…… Take Care!

Asuka: and because serchiee #4 is disqualified you have to choose again..

Hikari: hmm.. #2..

Asuka: #2.. come out now..

There, they saw Shinji Ikari came out of the cubicle.

Asuka: MothaFuckinBitch! What are you doin' here!

Shinji: Ehhh? Where am I?

Asuka: Your on Earth Ikari! Now tell me! I didn't chose you! Why are you here! You haven't registered either!

Shinji: I don't know..

Kensuke: Uh-oh.. it looks like Shinji's the one.. he'll be the one to date Hikari. Tsk..tsk.. poor Touji..

Asuka: GOD! `Oh no.. what am I goin' to do.. think Asuka! Quick!'.. Uhmm.. Shinji.. Come here..

Shinji came closer to where Asuka was. But before he could come really, really close he stepped on her foot. Then. He. Simply. Fell. Face first.

Asuka: OH MY GOD! I'M SORRY SHINJI! `Serves you right! Hehe.. sorry honey..'

Asuka then began to help Shinji to sat up.

Shinji: Asuka! What was that for! That hurts! A lot!

Asuka: sorry.. I'll help you in standing.

With that Asuka help Shinji in standing. She supported him by putting one of his arms in her shoulder. Then she put one of her arms around his waist.

Asuka: I'll bring you to the clinic.

Kensuke: From what I saw.. she did that on purpose.. poor Shinji.. Lucky Touji..

Asuka: (walking out with Shinji) well Hikari, choose #3 now and have a great time together..

Hikari: Asuka?

In the school Clinic..

Shinji is lying on the bed with Asuka by his side.

Shinji: Why did yah do that!

Asuka: and why did yah do that!

Shinji: what!

Asuka: you joined the matching game!

Shinji: I don't know!

Asuka: Don't know… don't know your face! Did yah know that your goin' to spoil everything!

Shinji: Really? Why?

Asuka: Touji! he should win not you!

Shinji: He won!

Asuka: and it's because of me! I didn't know you had a crush on my bf!

Shinji: Of course not!

Asuka: Then what are you doin' in the game?

Shinji: I said I don't know!

Asuka: Oh shut the fuck up!

Then Stupid Cupid can see from.. from.. I don't know where! Hehe.. but he can see the current situation between the fiery lady and the so called Mr. No-Personality and wimp..

Stupid Cupid: hmm.. must do something..

While Stupid Cupid is thinking of something, I don't know what.. hehe.. Asuka and Shinji are still arguing.

Shinji: I said I do not have a crush on her!

Asuka: oh really!

Shinji: it's just that contestant #2 said that he's so nervous and he''s sure that Hikari will no choose him so he said that it'll be okay if I stay there for a while..

Asuka: Oh yeah?…

Shinji: YES!

Then, a bright light came.

Asuka: What the! What's that!

Shinji: I don't know.. I want to go home..

Asuka: hey! We're not done yet! Just tell me the truth! You have a crush on my bf!

Shinji: So! What if I have!

Then Shinji began to sat up in the bed that caused Asuka to fell from where she is sitting.

Asuka: Oh Shit! Why did yah do that!

Right now she's helping herself in standing up.

Asuka: What's your problem!

She finally regained her composure and she brought her face near Shinji's.

Shinji: My problem?.. You! You're my problem! By the way! You haven't answered my question earlier.. do you care if I have a crush on Hikari?

Now, Shinji's breath is tickling her. Their face are only inches apart.

Asuka: of course I don't care!

Shinji: Oh really?.. just say it.. your jealous..

Asuka: what! Too confident huh! When hell freezes!

Shinji: Really Miss Soryu?.. if I know.. you really like me.. and a lot.. hmm.. do you want me.. to kiss.. you right now?

Asuka: WHAT! YES! I MEAN----- NO! WHO WOULD WANT TO KISS YOU ANYWAY!

Shinji: you don't want?.. huh?..

Now, their lips are only meters apart.

Asuka: (thoughts) Oh my! Is he gonna kiss me? What will I do?

Now.. it's only millimeters apart..

Asuka: (thoughts) Oh no! here it is…

Asuka closed her eyes… and the inevitable happened.

Misato: Shinji! Asuka! What happened! The nurse said…..……… Oh my God!