Original Stories Fan Fiction / Realism Fan Fiction ❯ When Dreams Fade ❯ Reflection ( Chapter 11 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Note: I apologize for what is coming. I really do. I love you. I'm sorry.

When Dreams Fade

Chapter Eleven

The trial was cancelled a few days later.

It was hard to breathe. I couldn't understand what had happened. I wasn't angry. I wasn't sad. I was numb. All of the anger I had felt for so long washed away in an instant. The hatred for the reporters and for the people I knew who were so close-minded not to realize that Hana was not a bad person vanished into thin air.

All of my feelings were gone with one phone call.

I did what I had found myself doing a lot since that day when we first saw Erik's house. I ran to Nikolas's house and pounded on the front door. He came to the door. His expression was blank. He'd received the call, too.

We walked in silence for a while. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. I wasn't really thinking of anything. Or rather, I was thinking of one thing.

Hana.

My best friend…the first person who really seemed to understand me. The first person other than my sister that I had ever opened up to. Hana, who had just reached her eighteenth birthday a few days earlier.

Hana, who kicked annoying kids in choir for making fun of other people. The girl who was in love with her choir teacher. That was Hana. The girl who, on the first day of our senior year, came to school wearing nothing but purple. The girl who pounced on me when I walked in the door. Hana, who cared about her friends and loved them enough to kill for them.

Hana, my best friend, who stood on her head simply because she was bored…

Hana was dead.

“Why?” Nikolas asked suddenly. I think it was a rhetorical question, but even so, it broke me out of my trance.

“Because…the world couldn't handle her,” I said. It sounded corny, I realized, but I needed to say it. I needed that comfort.

“Why would she do that, though? Why would she…kill herself like that?” Nikolas asked softly.

I shook my head. “I told you. She was already dead.”

I went to see Alyssa and Erik in the afternoon. Alyssa's had a friend over. I assumed it was James. They were discussing something when I walked in. Alyssa looked up when I walked in. She made an effort to hug me, but I shook my head.

“Don't,” I said. “I'm fine.” I sat down next to her on the couch. “I'm guessing you're James,” I said.

James nodded. “I'm sorry…you and Hana were close, weren't you?” I nodded. Erik wasn't looking at me.

“It's not your fault, Erik,” I said, sensing what was wrong with him. He looked at me, confused.

“How can you say that?” he asked. “If it wasn't for me…”

“Shut up, Erik,” I said. “Don't blame this on yourself. You didn't do anything wrong.” I sighed and looked at James. “Do you know how her parents are doing?” Her mother had been the one who found Hana in her bedroom, where she had shot herself. It was apparently her father's gun. No one, not even her mother, knew that he owned it.

“They're concerned that their carpet is stained,” James said. “And that her father has been arrested for illegal possession of a firearm. Apparently he never registered it.”

“Why couldn't they have been the ones to kill themselves?” Alyssa asked bitterly.

“Because God doesn't want people like them,” I mumbled. Alyssa looked at me. It was the first time I had ever mentioned God, even if it was in a somewhat sarcastic sense.

“Are they even having a funeral?” Erik asked. “Are they going to even pretend that they loved their daughter?”

James shook his head. “No, they're not having a funeral. They didn't want to waste the money. She's being buried, though. You could visit her grave. I know it isn't the same, but…”

I shook my head. “It's fine. Hana wouldn't want a big ceremony anyway. And they'd make her wear a dress. She'd hate to be seen in a dress.”

Erik smiled sadly. “Yeah…” Apparently he was remembering, as I was, a time when Hana would threaten to kill someone who made her wear a dress.

“At least,” I said, “She won't have to wear a prom dress.” It was a small consolation. But again, I needed it.

For the second time in a week, a startling realization came over me as I walked away from someone's house. Hana had been charged with murder on her birthday.

And now…Hana's life officially ended on mine.