Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Life of Chaos ❯ The Battle At The End Of Lunch ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Life of Chaos

Prologue - An Insane Day

Chapter 5 - The Battle At The End Of Lunch

By: Lord Archive

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. All rights reserved.


"You wanted to see me, sir?" little Ms. Hinako asked coldly.

"Why yes, little wahine. I've got some information on some baaad students."

Ms. Hinako glared at him. "Oh?"

Principal Kuno grinned. "Just watch dese tapes. You'll see how behaved dey truly are when you're not around."

Ms. Hinako huffed. "I won't punish them for things that occur outside of class."

Principal Kuno wagged his finger. "Dis happened while dey were in class."

"You taped them in class? Isn't that illegal?" Ms. Hinako questioned.

Principal Kuno shook his head. "Dey on public property and hidden cameras are allowed by de new school rules. De school board even approved it!"

Ms. Hinako gave him a look that could kill. "Okay. Give me the tapes."

Principal Kuno nodded and happily handed them over. "Just watch de times I marked down. Dat's when dey at dere worst."

Ms. Hinako stomped out of the principal's secret room, down the hall and into her office. She first placed a call to the school board to confirm that the tapes were legal to use. She frowned hearing that they had approved it.

The school disciplinarian went to the school's electronic room to use a VCR to view the tapes. Her frown grew watching how her students had behaved. She'd have to punish the delinquents. All of the delinquents, even though she'd rather not punish one of them.


Tsubasa crawled outside, clutching his lunch protectively. This had been a horrible day so far. He couldn't see how it could get worse. Then he then looked at the Furinkan swimming pool.

In the deep end of the pool was something out of Lovecraft. A winged minotaur with wings and octopus tentacles and it was practicing a martial arts moves. Tsubasa wet his dress and ran off the school grounds. He didn't stop running until he made it back home and was cowering under his bed.


"Kuno! Where are you?" Mariko called out.

"What do you want with my brother?" Kodachi asked. She couldn't stomach watching Ranma talking with Akane, and maybe this... cheerleader would be a good distraction.

"Brother?" Mariko asked wide-eyed.

"Yes, I'm Kuno Kodachi, the Black Rose of Furinkan High. What do want with Tatewaki?" Kodachi asked with a superior tone.

"I'm Konjo Mariko." She bowed. "I've fallen in love with your brother and I've been trying to find him so we could eat lunch together."

Kodachi smirked. The girl might have been lowborn like Akane and the pig-tailed girl, but she, at least, respected her superiors. She would be better for Tatewaki than those vile girls he chased after. "Would you like my help to win over my brother?"

"Would I? Lady Kodachi, I would be in your debt f-o-r-e-v-e-r!" Mariko cheered.

Kodachi frowned. Mariko might have been better for Tatewaki, but she would need a good dose of a strong sedative. "Let's talk over how you should proceed with your advances."

Mariko grinned and nodded.


"Hey, Mallet-girl!" Azusa called out cutely.

"Huh?" Akane questioned. She only heard that phrase from Shampoo before; why would Azusa call her that?

"Not you, that violent maniac," Azusa stated, pointing at Akari.

"Guess she doesn't know you very well?" Ranma smirked.

Akane scowled at her fiance.

"What do you want?" Akari asked.

"I, Shiratori Azusa, challenge you for Charlotte!" She pointed at Ryoga.

Akane blinked. Believing the girl to be a bigger ditz than she had thought.

"Um, Akari, you're not...." Ryoga started to say but Akari silenced him with a stern look.

"Why are you challenging her for...." Akane began to ask.

Akari interrupted. "I accept. You're not taking Ryoga from me."

Akane wondered why the girl kept calling Ryoga, 'Charlotte,' or fighting over him for that matter. She quickly forgot about it, since something else seemed more important. "Um, Akari, Azusa is a martial artist. You can't fight her."

"Just trust me, Akane," Akari said sweetly.

"It'll be okay, really," Ryoga assured his first love. He wished he could convince himself that.

"We fight at ice ring, Sat...." Azusa started to say.

"Nope," Akari said flatly. "Right here and now. I'm not going to give you the advantage of being on ice. If you're such a good martial artist, you shouldn't be afraid to fight against a measly little farm girl."

Ranma smirked. He knew from his travels how farm girls tended to fight. This could be interesting.

Akane looked at Akari like she had grown a second head.

Azusa glared at her opponent. "If you want your death sooner, so be it."

The two girls circled and sized up each other. The call of 'cat fight' quickly drew a large crowd, even as it caused Ranma to go rigid for a moment, until he realized what they had meant.

Akari wanted Azusa to make the first move but the too-cute-to-be-real skater showed no sign that she was going to initiate an attack. Well, there were ways to goad someone to strike first. "I don't see why you're attacking me. Why would Ryoga want a flat-chested, ditzy, uncute girl like you?"

Steam blew out Azusa's ears. "Un-un-uncute! I'm going to kill you!" She charged like an angry bull.

Akane was very worried watching Azusa rush towards Akari, but her friend just stood her ground. She wanted to know why Ryoga's girlfriend was taunting like Ranma.

Akari struck as Azusa was almost on top of her. She moved her body out of the way and grabbed the girl's shoulders. Akari twisted herself as to almost be riding the ice-skater piggyback style.

Azusa wasn't prepared for the move and with the added weight of her opponent, fell face first into the ground. The forward momentum they had generated caused them to slide a few meters.

Azusa really hated this girl now. She swung her arm back, elbowing the pig farmer in the gut.

Unryu rolled off the skater, holding her side. "Gee, what a cute attack," she said sarcastically.

Azusa leapt at her opponent only to find Akari's foot in her flight path. She twisted herself to avoid the foot, however it prevented her from striking. Akari however was able to sock her in the jaw, and continued to throw punched.

Azusa did not like this. She grabbed the pig farmer's arms and placed her foot into the girl's gut and launched Akari into the air.

Akari glared at her opponent while getting up. "So, you do know more than how to steal and ice skate. I guess you're not a complete ditz, just an uncute one."

Azusa was seeing red. She would kill Akari slowly just to savor it. All that would remain when she was done would be the girl's hair since it was the only cute thing about her. Shiratori charged her opponent again.

Akari smiled sweetly. She knew her last trick wouldn't be as effective, so she'd have to do something else. She dodged and then grabbed Azusa as the girl passed. She then flung her body around the cute thief and spun the ice skater into the air.

Azusa crashed into a school wall, cracking it. She got to her feet. "Azusa dizzy."

"You normally are," Akari quipped.

Azusa shook her head to clear it. She would not charge again, no matter what the bitch said.

"Gee, you wouldn't even make a cute dog now," Akari taunted.

Azusa just glared.

Akari leveled her gaze, and approached Azusa. When she was less than two meters from her opponent, she dropped her head and charged.

Azusa was surprised by the move. It'd be easily stopped, but it was so unexpected, she didn't move. Akari's head rammed right into her breasts. She staggered back, clutching her chest. "Why don't you fight like a martial artist?"

"Because that'd be stupid. But if you insist." Akari punched Azusa in the face.

"Why you bitch!" Shiratori kicked Unryu in the gut.

Akari had had more than enough. She grabbed Azusa around the gut and was rewarded with several punches to her back. She then suplexed the ice skater headfirst into the ground, planting Azusa up to her waist.

Azusa's legs kicked in the air as her skirt flowered around her blue panties, which had a baby chicken and 'Chirp Chirp' embroidered on them.

Akari dusted herself off. "I'm going to bathroom to clean myself. Be back soon, Ryoga." She waved daintily.

"Akari, are you okay?" Ryoga asked.

Akari nodded curtly. Her right arm clutching her side betrayed her answer.

"Nice legs," Hiroshi commented.

"Cute panties," Daisuke said.

"Great ass," Hiro drooled.

"That is no way to talk about a lady." Kodachi hit each of them with a gymnastic club. Azusa was a minor noble and deserved some respect from the commoners, but it didn't mean she would demean herself by pulling the ditz's head out of the ground.

"You heard K-o-d-a-c-h-i!" Mariko added baton strikes to the back of the boy's heads.

"Guess this school has lots of fighters, Migi," Hidari groaned out.

"Certainly seems that way, Hidari. I think we could take either of those two though," Migi noted.

Hidari nodded. "Most definitely."

The twins were surprised to hear the shout of, "Shampoo, my love!"

Mousse had only caught the tail end of the fight. He saw a long-haired girl fighting, and she had pulled off an amazing feet of strength; she had to be Shampoo. He gave her a fierce hug.

Akari squeaked out painfully, feeling as if an octopus had just latched onto her.

"Shampoo?" Hidari and Migi questioned. They then noticed a rock bounce off the guy's head. He fell unconscious. They looked at where the rock came from and saw Akane with two guys. They assumed their rival threw the rock even though she looked shocked.

"Are you okay?" Ryoga called out.

"I'm fine," Akari answered. She was thankful that Mousse had somehow avoided touching any of her injuries.

Sayuri blinked for the umpteenth time. "Well, my world-view's shattered. How's yours?"

Yuka looked at her friend strangely. "I've long since stopped trying to figure out what reality is. Besides, what's so unlikely about the walking tank having a girlfriend that can fight? She'd be in trouble if she couldn't."

"I guess you're right, but still she's so... demure," Sayuri tried to rationalize.

"So is Konatsu," Yuka returned.

"Um, virginal and innocent," Sayuri added.

"She's living with a guy," Yuka retorted.

"So does Akane," Sayuri countered.

"With no one else there?" Yuka asked.

"Ukyou lives with Konatsu alone," Sayuri pointed out.

Yuka shook her head. "And he could dance next to Ranma naked and she wouldn't notice. That hardly counts."

Sayuri scowled. "I just don't see how she can be that good of a fighter or fight that dirty, okay? It doesn't seem right. She seemed like a normal girl."

Yuka blinked. "She came to school riding a one-ton pig, and you think she's a normal girl?"

"What the hell?" Akane couldn't believe what she had seen. Akari, sweet and cute Akari, beat the crap out of Azusa. "How did she fight like that?"

"She's a farm girl," Ranma answered.

"How else do you think she can train her sumo-pigs? If they get out of line, she has to stop them. The take down moves are what she uses to flip a pig upside down," Ryoga replied. "I taught her how to punch, though."

"You mean she can take down Katsunishiki?" Akane questioned.

Ryoga nodded. "Of course. She wouldn't be able to control him otherwise."

"Okay... but what about her taunting?" Akane asked.

Ryoga shrugged. He had been rather surprised at what Akari had said in the fight, and didn't know how to answer that.

"You haven't seen farm girls fight over a guy, have you?" Ranma asked. "I learned how to taunt from a farm girl. I had seen her fight over a guy and she knew how to fling insults better than anyone I've met, and that's saying something. Unfortunately, the other girl knew how to fight really dirty. That girl... well...." Ranma shuddered. "Not goin' to say it. It hurts to think about it since now I have some idea of how much that can hurt."

Akane noticed how Ranma shifted in posture, giving her some idea of what area had been injured and shuddered herself.

Ryoga looked confused.

Azusa froze, feeling a pair of hands grab her hips. She felt the hands press into her as the person lifted her out of the hole.

"Are you okay?" Konatsu asked. He didn't like it that no one had moved to help Azusa. She couldn't stay there like that. If that had happened to him, he'd die of embarrassment. So, he had decided to pull her out.

Azusa blinked dirt out of her eyes and looked at her benefactor. Hearts formed in her eyes gazing at the incredibly cute guy. "Y-yes."

"That's good." Konatsu walked toward Ranma and Akane, while replaying the fight in his mind. Azusa offered little in the way of potential new techniques, but Akari had a very unusual fighting style. Her take down moves were quite... interesting to say the least.

"Hey, catch the fight?" Ranma asked.

Konatsu nodded. "It was very interesting. Ranma, it seems I, too, have lined up an unintentional fight this afternoon. I'd like to spar with you to help prepare."

Ranma shrugged. "Sure. Normal sparring or try out new techniques?"

"The latter. There are a couple techniques I would like to perfect," Konatsu noted.

Ranma nodded and walked into the field where the catfight had just occurred.

"All right! Now for the main event: Ranma verses Konatsu!" Hiroshi cheered.

"Place your bets!" Nabiki called out. Today was proving very profitable for her, and there was yet another fight after school. Who needed college; if this kept up she wouldn't have to go. She could retire from all the money she made from the betting pools.

"You first," Ranma said.

"If you insist.... Kamaitachi!" Konatsu repeated a move three times in rapid succession. He had wanted to name his attacks more in tune with his training, but Ranma had, somewhat, convinced him to use 'manly' names for his attacks.

A whirlwind surrounded Ranma. He almost commented that it was like the one the ninja had used before, but he noticed a difference. The tornado was caused by throwing stars, not restaurant bills. His movement blurred. When the wind died down Ranma held the throwing stars in his hands. "Real cute. Try this."

Konatsu watched as Ranma flung the shuriken in a similar manner as he had, but only did the move twice. The whirlwind that formed was a lot more intense than his. He saw the throwing stars move in an inward spiral. He jumped out of the tornado, avoiding the throwing stars before the whirlwind collapsed in on itself. "How did you do that?"

Ranma smirked. "Applied a little Hiryu Shuten Ha to your technique."

Konatsu looked confused, but doubted Ranma would explain what he meant. He'd have to ask Ukyou if she knew anything about this 'Hiryu Shuten Ha' technique.

"All right. My turn again. let's see how you deal with all of me." Konatsu split in four mirror images of himself, and all charged Ranma.

"I already know about that technique.... and its weakness." Ranma smirked confidently.

The four attacking Konatsu looked a little worried.

Ranma waited for them to get into range. "Moku Bakuhatsuteki!" Ranma gathered a chi blast into his hands, but rather than throw it at one of the ninja he slammed the gathered chi into the ground. The resulting explosion enshrouded all of the combatants.

When the smoke cleared, Ranma, being confident in his attack, was only a little dirty from it.

"Ite!" Konatsu, hadn't been nearly as confident, and lay on the ground smoking. His mirror images had disappeared. The blast wouldn't have been nearly as painful to him, but he had felt the injuries inflicted to all four of images, not just his true body. "Still need to perfect that."

Ryoga looked at Ranma in dismay. Ranma had done worse than duplicate and improve one of Konatsu's moves, Saotome had developed a new version of Moku Takabishi. A move based off his Shi Shi Hokodan, and that jerk had improved on it. Ryoga walked away from Akane and everyone else. He just couldn't stand the idea of Ranma expanding on a move that was rightfully his.

"Shi Shi Kyobo!" Ryoga slammed a chi blast into the ground in front of himself. He fell on his ass from the resulting explosion. He smiled a little. "Needs work."

Ranma noticed that Ryoga had copied him, but couldn't complain. He had taken his chi move from pig-boy in the first place. He turned back to his sparring partner. "It's your turn, again."

"Right." Konatsu wasted no words and began his new attack. He charged towards Ranma but changed direction at the last moment. He continued his run and jumped toward the shadow of the tree.

Konatsu seemed to vanish for a moment, but then he was flying out of the shadow straight towards Ranma.

Ranma had barely caught the ninja's movement. Konatsu had made a tight flip and then put all the force he could muster into a jump. His movements were very fast, but he was still able to dodge it. "You almost got it. That might work better with your ninja outfit."

Konatsu nodded. A white shirt doesn't help much when trying to hide in a shadow.

Ranma paused for a moment. All he had wanted to do was test his new chi move. The other moves he wanted to test were just variants of standard techniques. However Konatsu had gone for three rather flashy high-end moves, and he didn't want to look cheap considering the crowd they had generated. He thought of various fighting games he had seen. Maybe he could pull off a rapid kick and pass it off as a new attack.

Before Ranma could decide, the school bell rang signaling the end of lunch. The students that had watched the fight rushed for the doors.

Some of the martial artists decided the windows were the better option. Akane squeaked when Ranma picked her up and also leapt through the window.

Author's Notes:

Thanks to Freemage, Michael Chase, John Go, and JJang for going over the original version. And thanks to you the reader.

Non-negligible School damages so far today:
Three large potholes, one destroyed bucket and a cracked wall.
The two damaged desks in room 2-D won't be replaced since it's still relatively minor.

Why did the school board allow for hidden cameras? Because of the large amounts of school damage in the past year. They want to find out who the culprits are and punish them appropriately.

Japan has a caste system recognized by many of the more traditional families. For this series Kuno, Shiratori and Sanzenin clans are low level Shogunate/high level samurai clans. Tendo and Konjo are lower level samurai, which makes them nobility but of a lower caste than Kodachi thus Akane and Mariko are lower born than she is.

Kodachi's nobility helps makes her feel superior to others, and she knows it enough about it so that when she actually runs into someone who is the same level or better, she won't act like a common peasant but act appropriately for her caste.

Kamaitachi: cut caused by a whirlwind.
Moku Bakuhatsuteki: explosive or tremendous fierce tiger.
Shi Shi Kyobo: lion rage or lion frenzy