Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Life of Chaos ❯ Gym Is Hell On Earth ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Life of Chaos

Prologue - An Insane Day

Chapter 7 - Gym Is Hell On Earth

By: Lord Archive

Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Shogakukan and are used without permission. Dan is from Street Fighter and belongs to Capcom. Mr. Strike is from Futaba-Kun Change, which belongs to Hiroshi Aro and Studio Ironcat. All rights reserved.


As the boys from the class filed into the locker room to change for gym, Mikado went straight to the showers. He hoped he could wash more of the ink off his face. He had been allowed to get some of it off during math class, but the face painters had chosen to use permanent makers.

Kuno was running late. He had tried to escort Akane to the girls' locker room, but had been knocked unconscious for his trouble.

"Hey, Ranma, get lucky with Akane yet?" Hiroshi asked.

"Yeah, you two were almost married. You've had to have done it by now," Daisuke added.

Ranma glared at the two. "Why would I do anything with her?"

Mousse shook his head. "That is getting old, Saotome. Even I can see you want nothing more than to get into her panties."

Ranma blushed slightly. "I'm not some pervert!"

"Right, perhaps I misjudged you," Mousse tried to say casually. "I thought you were a man. Guess you don't have the guts to make love to Akane."

Ranma slammed Mousse into the lockers. His cheeks were crimson red while he snarled through clenched teeth. "If you want to fight, just ask for it."

"I'm not looking to fight you, Saotome. Just stating that I doubt you have the courage to be a real man for the girl you love. I bet Ryoga will get laid by that Akari girl before you even kiss Akane." Mousse tried to control his voice. It still quivered slightly since he could not forget what he had seen Ranma do to Saffron.

"Ain't no way Piglet is going to score before I do!" Ranma growled.

"Leave me out of this!" Ryoga then punched Ranma into the wall. "And don't call me that! I won't even let Akari do that!"

"Geez, with the way you're both acting, I might be the first to have sex," Mousse said with a smirk. This was working better than he had hoped.

"That's a laugh, Mousse. You don't even got a girlfriend." Ranma glared at Ryoga.

"What about my beloved Shampoo?" Mousse asked confidently.

"Your 'beloved' Shampoo would skin you alive if you kissed her. It'd take a miracle for you to be with her," Ranma retorted smugly.

Mousse's face became a few shades paler. Saotome had a point, his chances with Shampoo weren't very good at the moment. "Well, who said the girl had to be my girlfriend? I... well... I can have sex with a girl to make Shampoo jealous."

Ranma shook his head. "If you do, Shampoo won't get jealous, she'd throw a party."

Mousse glared at Ranma. "I doubt that. Anyway, Ryoga, think you're more of a man than Saotome?"

"Goes without saying," Ryoga replied.

Ranma kicked Ryoga in the head. "I'm manlier than both of you put together!"

"You aren't even a guy all the time," Ryoga retorted.

Ranma seethed. "Neither of you are men all the time!"

"Let's settle this with a bet," Mousse tried to suggest casually. "First to get laid gets the losers to do whatever he wants."

"You're on," Ranma answered firmly.

"Ranma isn't going to beat me. I'm in," Ryoga replied, but his voice quivered slightly. What was he doing? If Akari found out about this, he was pig food. But he can't back away from a challenge, especially from Ranma.

"You ain't got a chance, Piglet." Ranma finished getting dressed and stormed out of the locker room.

"Good." Mousse smirked and then let out a long sigh of relief. He had planned to issue that challenge for a while; however, he had been afraid Ryoga would win by being with Akane and that would cause him more problems. He doubted Ranma would have gone through with the challenge if he had issued it alone, since he technically didn't have a girlfriend. Since Ryoga was with Akari now, Ranma would have to go through with it or lose the bet.

If Ryoga won, Mousse would only owe Hibiki a favor, but so would Saotome- which wouldn't be that bad. Now if Ranma won by sleeping with Akane or any other girl besides Shampoo, Saotome would be guilty of adultery and that would free his beloved of her obligation to be with Ranma. And if Mousse somehow won, he would demand that Ranma marry Akane.


The girls immediately pestered Shampoo for details about her hair. Few had seen what happened to cause her to wear a pony-tail, and all they were getting from her now was that a stupid boy had cut her hair and that he would die.

After a minute of trying to get the information from Shampoo, the girls gave up and got ready for class. Most of them avoided being anywhere near Akane and were saying things about her in hushed voices.

Not this rumor again. Akane shook her head. She thought her classmates knew better than to trust the rumor horde, but they proved her wrong. All because of Mariko's stupid accusation that she was bi-sexual everyone, including Sayuri and Yuka, were now giving her a wide berth in the gym changing room.

Akari entered the locker room last and chose a locker near Akane. "Don't you know Akane is bi?" Ryunami whispered to Akari.

"Well if your fiancee turned into a girl as cute as Ranma, wouldn't you be tempted to at least try 'her' out?" Akari asked.

Ryunami blinked. That wasn't the reaction she counted on. "So, do you like girls then?"

"Only if the girl is Ryoga," Akari replied.

Ryunami's eyes flattened and walked away. She would take that as a 'yes.' She won't let anyone get away with ignoring her 'advice,' especially someone who's foolishly in love. Besides, Nabiki did better with her betting pool than she did on Akari's fight.

"Thanks, Akari," Akane said. "Wish I knew how to deal with those kind of accusations better."

Akari shrugged. "I've been getting worse since I started junior high. They accused me of bestiality just because of my love for pigs. They're great pets, fighters, and taste good with wheat bread, however, if you've ever seen pigs mating, you'd find it anything but arousing."

Akane couldn't help but briefly imagine Akari with Katsunishiki, and shuddered. That would be worse than being accused of liking girls.

Bestiality, huh? Ryunami smirked, since she had overheard their entire conversation. Even better than accusing her of bi-sexuality.


The men's gym teacher waited for his students to exit the locker room. He marked them off in the order they came out.

The teacher was beginning to wonder if Gosunkugi was going to be the last student out when Ryoga called out loudly, "It must be this door!" He smiled as he finally found the gym after several tries, which he considered to be very good.

"Where are Kurenai and Kumon?" the gym teacher asked.

"Well, Kurenai has been missing since lunch and Kumon is in the nurses' station," Hiroshi answered.

"Kumon should be here soon, though," Ranma added.

"Okay. Welcome to gym, I'm your teacher, Fuji. To start class, I want you all to run two laps around the soccer field," the teacher ordered.

Most of the students shrugged and began their run.


The girls assembled for their gym class. They soon saw a blond-haired, muscle-bound foreigner approached them.

Several of the girls wondered if this guy was Arnold Schwarzenegger since he looked a lot like their favorite terminator robot.

"Hello, I am your gym teacher, Mr. Strike," he said in a very deep voice. After taking attendance, he began, "Today, your mission is dodge ball. The objective is to remove your opponents by hitting them with one of these balls; however, if your opponent catches the ball, you are eliminated. The teams are as follows, team alpha: Daimonji, Genmizu, Konjo, Kuno, Masaki, Sieki, and Shan; team beta: Shiratori, Takahashi, Tanaki, Tendo, Wataru, and Unryu. Team alpha will be stationed on that side of the center line, while team beta has that other side. Do not cross the border at any cost. That is all."

Team beta did not look pleased at their prospects. One member shy of their opposing team and they had more martial artists as well. This was not a fair game.

Mr. Strike tossed one ball to each side. "Begin."

Azusa's eyes glazed over slightly seeing the ball bounce toward her. "Pierre!" she cried out and hugged it.

Shampoo caught one of the balls, and grinned. This sort of game could get someone hurt, preferably pervert-girl. Too bad crazy-girl was on her team, she would've liked to hurt her too. She leapt up into the air and spiked the ball with all her might, aiming for Akane. When her fist came in contact with ball, it exploded.

Everyone, except the teacher, blinked. Azusa hugged her ball even tighter, causing it to detonate as well.

"Shan and Shiratori are out," Mr. Strike said simply while tossing a new ball to each team.

"What with ball?" Shampoo asked dizzily.

"In some of the balls are explosives. If you hit them too hard, they will explode."

Shampoo glared at Mr. Strike. She had always been taught to respect her teachers, but this school was making that very hard for her.

"Why the hell are there explosives in the dodge balls?!" Akane asked angrily.

"This will teach you survival instincts and gives more incentive for you to dodge."

Akane growled. After living with Ranma for a year, she had developed a good survival instinct. Too bad she often ignored it if someone was in trouble, especially Ranma. However, some of the girls in this class would not be able to shrug off one of the explosive balls too well. If one of them got hurt, Mr. Strike would get a beating far worse than she had ever given anyone.

Mariko grinned wickedly. "Oh, this will be fun." This was her type of game, dirty. She grabbed the new ball and threw it with all her might.

Ayashi stared at the ball with morbid fascination as it flew straight at her. "Oh, shit." She decided to dodge too late and was blown across the floor.

"Wataru is out." Mr. Strike tossed a ball to team alpha.

"You really should give up, Tendo." Kodachi laughed gleefully as she grabbed the new ball and wailed it towards Akane.

Akane noticed the ball and got out of the way. "I'm not that easy."

Unfortunately Sayuri had been standing next to her.

"Tanaki out."

Akane turned toward her friend and was relieved to see the ball had not exploded. She still was not happy. She grabbed the ball and hurled it at Kodachi. "Eat this."

"I would not accept anything from you considering your lack of culinary skills." Kodachi knew Yuka was Akane's friend, and peasants can be good shields. She pushed Yuka into the approaching ball, which detonated.

"Masaki out."

Akane stared at Yuka in shock. "S-sorry."

"Unryu out."

"I'll take her out for you, Kodachi-sama." Mariko had caught the ball Akari threw and threw it at Kodachi's target. Akane hadn't noticed until it was too late, and was now sprawled on the floor smoking from the explosive impact.

"Tendo out."

"Can I forfeit? Retreat?" Rumiko asked.

"Negative," Mr. Strike answered.

Rumiko let the ball thrown by Yume hit her. She wasn't about to let Mariko or Kodachi get a chance to peg her with one of those balls.

"Winners: team alpha."


Ranma and Konatsu finished their laps in a time that would beat Olympic runners. Gosunkugi finish his first lap after everyone else completed their second lap.

Fuji-sensei didn't want to keep everyone waiting, so he told Gosunkugi that he would make up that lap after class. The gym teacher then had the class break off into the assigned pairs and ordered them to do thirty sit-ups.

Some of the students looked at the teacher strangely. "Only thirty?"

Gosunkugi gave them an evil look. He then frowned looking at his partner, Ryoga. He went first and attempted the sit-ups. At about twenty, Ryoga asked, "Done yet?" Gosunkugi replied that he was.

They switched positions. Hikaru tried to hold down Ryoga's feet. Unfortunately, Gosunkugi went flying when Hibiki attempted his first sit-up.

"Hey! Where are you going? You're supposed to hold my feet," Ryoga called out.

Gosunkugi responded by landing into the Furinkan pool.

Fuji-sensei slapped his forehead while holding Kumon's feet, who had just return for the nurses' station. "For the rest of class, Kumon, you're Hibiki's partner."

"Whatever," Kumon replied.


"This game there will be four balls." Mr. Strike tossed two balls to each side.

"We strike Tendo," Kodachi said firmly, after catching one of the balls.

Mariko nodded as she grabbed the other one for her team.

Shampoo then caught the ball thrown by Sayuri. "Three better than two."

The three girls nodded to each other and threw their balls at once.

"Damn it." Akane attempted to dodge, however the incoming balls came in at different angles making it difficult to judge where to move. She jumped back and was hit by the ball Kodachi had thrown. It exploded, throwing her into the other two balls, which also detonated. Akane landed head first into the ground.

Sayuri grabbed Akane's comatose body and dragged her into the locker room for a change of clothes that weren't burnt to a crisp. She had let the rumor keep her away from her friend, but she wasn't about to leave Akane lying on the ground.

Akari was as angry as a pig that hadn't been fed. Her friend had been triple-teamed and had been hurt. She grabbed the ball out of Rumiko's hands and hurled it at Mariko. "You'll pay for that!"

Mariko went to catch the ball, but found that Akari had thrown it much harder this time, and the ball blew up. "That hurt, you know." She glared at the pig-farmer and then checked her hair for any damage.

Shampoo deemed Akari to be the biggest threat of her opponents. She hurled a ball at her, but Unryu dodged it.

"This really isn't cute." Azusa launched a ball, that she now considered ugly, at no one in particular.

Ryunami had been trying to blend into the back wall. She didn't want to be in this game. Unfortunately, she was beamed in the head by Azusa's attack; fortunately it failed to detonate, so she escaped no worse for wear.

"You should all give up. You have no chance to win against us." Kodachi took the ball that hit Ryunami and pitched it at her opponents. She didn't care who she hit, her main target had already been removed.

Rumiko was struck in the leg, and gave a prayer of thanks that it didn't go off.

Akari grabbed that ball and hurled it back at Kodachi, who dodged. "Pig shit!" Yume was hit in the chest by the ball, which discharged.

Shampoo grabbed the new ball and fired it off at Akari.

Unryu avoided being hit directly, but was caught in the explosion. She cursed at failing to strike back against all of Akane's attackers this game.

Ayashi wondered why she was even trying to win. Their chances sucked and all any of them could hope for was to not be hit by another explosion. She threw a ball and was quite thankful that Kodachi caught it.

"There is nothing cute about this game." Azusa nervously stood alone.

"Time to end this game." Kodachi threw her ball along with Shampoo.

Azusa braced herself for the explosion. "Charlotte, help me," she cried out before the balls detonated.


Ryoga sneezed.

"All right, boys, pull-ups, ten reps each. Kenzan you're first," Fuji-sensei said.

Konatsu jumped and grabbed the bar with his right arm and did ten pull-ups. After he did two more with his left, the gym teacher stopped him.

"You only have to do ten pull-ups, not ten with each arm," Fuji informed.

Konatsu bowed apologetically. "I'm very sorry."

"Saotome, you're next," Fuji intoned.

Ranma grabbed the bar and repositioned himself. He did the ten repetitions upside down.

Fuji growled. "You don't have to show off, Saotome."

"Needed more of a challenge," Ranma replied.

Mousse, Sentarou, Kenshiro, Hiro, Mikado and Kuno each did their ten repetitions. Hiroshi was happy to pull off seven, while Daisuke only did three before his arms gave out. Gosunkugi failed to do even one.

"Hey, Ranma, watch this." Ryoga leapt to the bar and positioned himself upside down like Ranma had and did ten inverted pull-ups, but with only his right arm.

Kumon frowned. He had wanted to one-up Saotome. He grabbed hold of the bar and attempted to duplicate Ryoga's feat. After the second repetition he lost balance and his left arm took hold. Regaining his equilibrium, Kumon finished the ten inverted pull-ups with both arms.

The gym teacher scowled. He hated that his class had freaks like Ranma who could do things now that he hadn't dreamed of when he was in his prime. What had happened to all the normal students like Hiroshi and Daisuke?


Team beta being short a member made the teams even more unfair. Needless to say, the third game was short and brutal.


Akane awoke in the locker room. She noticed a clean gym uniform sitting next to her, and that hers were quite charred. She quickly changed. She frowned when she noticed the shirt was a bit stretched out in the chest region, as she guessed who the owner was. "Great, this is what Ranma wears when he's being really perverted." She knew that wasn't quite true, but she hated to be reminded that he had a better female body.

Akane's frown deepened as she remembered what happened before she went to 'sleep.' Mariko, Kodachi, and Shampoo had triple teamed her in that psychotic dodge ball game. Her fist shook angrily. "How can any respectable teacher be willing to risk hurting his students?" Because all the respectable teachers here have tenure.

Akane stomped out of the locker room and approached the gym teacher as the girls prepared to begin the fourth game. "What kind of insane game is this?"

"This game is important training to teach you survival instincts," Mr. Strike replied.

"The hell it is. This isn't training. It's sadistic. Some of them can't take those explosions," Akane protested.

Mr. Strike looked down at her. "You're just a weak girl who's afraid of getting her hair singed. If you can't deal with my class, just leave and fail."

"Weak? Afraid?" Akane punched her teacher in the jaw.

Mr. Strike flew across the gym. "You struck a superior officer. Girls, attack her!" He ordered and then rubbed his jaw. Well, she was not weak.

"Weak girls should run, not try to start fights," Shampoo said smugly holding one of the balls.

"I'll punish you!" Mariko cheered. Sure she was punishing Akane for hurting her beloved, but the teacher didn't have to know that.

"You'll pay for taking Charlotte from me." Azusa didn't care if Akane was technically her teammate.

"You really should leave us, vile wench. You have no hope to fight against all of us." Kodachi grabbed a ball from Satsuki and joined in with Mariko, Shampoo, and Azusa as they all launched explosive dodge balls.

Akane braced herself and was blown into the wall. She staggered to her feet.

"No one gets away with hurting a superior officer." Mr. Strike threw a dodge ball at Akane that was painted blue. Its explosion was much larger than the other balls.

Akane was momentarily part of the wall, she then fell onto the ground.

"Leave her, and begin play," Mr. Strike said firmly.

A few of the students looked at Mr. Strike rebelliously, but couldn't do anything as Mariko, Kodachi and Shampoo appeared to be on the teacher's side. Attempting to challenge him might cause them to be attacked like Akane had been.


Mr. Fuji heard something as he led the boys into the gym. In the back corner a rope hung from the ceiling. He told his class to climb it to a flag tied halfway up.

Konatsu quickly climbed the rope and instead of climbing back down, he let go. He landed softly on the mat, making no more disturbance than a cat would.

"This is too easy." Ranma jumped up and tagged the flag.

"It's nice to see that you can jump, Saotome. Now try to climb the rope," Mr. Fuji told him with a scowl.

Ranma shrugged and climbed the rope. Almost at the top he heard a couple explosions. He looked towards the girls and saw Akari standing at the center line.

"You crossed the boarder." Mr. Strike hurled a ball at Akari, which exploded.

"What the hell?" Ranma noticed Akane lying on the ground unconscious a short distance away from the teacher. He shifted his body weight to swing the rope towards the wall and used the momentum to rocket himself towards Akane and the teacher.

Most of the boys and Mr. Fuji followed.

"What is going on here?" Ranma demanded.

"Dodge ball," Mr. Strike replied simply.

"What happened to her?" Ranma pointed at his fiancee.

Mr. Strike folded his arms. "She struck her superior, me."

Ranma glared at the teacher, but no word seemed to be enough to convey how angry he was.

Akane awoke to see Ranma attack Mr. Strike with unrestrained fury.

Mr. Strike pried himself from the wall he had suddenly been imbedded into. "Girls, attack him."

"Attack Mr. Strike?" Satsuki asked hopefully while holding a ball.

Kodachi, Shampoo, and Sayuri also had balls and they nodded to her.

Shampoo tossed her ball to Mariko since she didn't want to risk upsetting her great-grandmother because she attacked a teacher.

Mariko looked at the ball and debated for a moment. She rather liked this game, but Kodachi was all for helping that boy. She added her ball to the attack.

The four balls pegged Mr. Strike and all of them exploded. "This is insubordination!"

"No, this is mutiny," Kodachi replied, getting two more balls from a ball rack and throwing them at her teacher.

Ranma grabbed Mr. Strike and snarled into his ear. "No one hurts Akane, asshole, no one." He then threw him at a full rack.

After the smoke cleared for the explosions, Mr. Strike moaned, "Remember Korea!" He then took a long nap.

Shampoo hugged Ranma. "Husband save me from crazy teacher!"

"Ack!" Ranma tried to figure out what to do.

"Yes, Ranma, I must thank you too for saving us," Kodachi added while scowling at Shampoo.

Akane fumed. They could have easily beaten the teacher and ended the insane game but they had attacked her instead. She growled as Ranma let Shampoo hang all over him. "Don't you have any shame?" she snapped and then stomped out of the gym.

"Hey, Akane...." Ranma tried to go help Akane, unfortunately Shampoo purposely moved to caused him to fall.

Akane gave them a contemptuous look before leaving.

"Akari, are you okay?" Ryoga asked.

"Good as a pig at meal time." Akari smiled at him.

"For what he did to you and Akane, I'm going to kill him," Ryoga snarled.

"Calm down. You don't have to hurt him, Ranma already did," Akari pleade.

Ryoga frowned. "But...."

"Just leave him be, my little piglet." Akari giggled.

"Akari...." Ryoga couldn't fight against a cute girl. He sighed. "Please don't call me that."

Mr. Fuji allowed any injured girl to go to the nurses' station and had Kumon take Mr. Strike there as well. He integrated the remaining girls into his class. Still upset at Saotome for showing off, he did not allow Ranma to follow Akane.

They resumed rope climb and when it was Ryoga's turn, he tested the rope's hold. He blinked as the rope went slack and then the metal plate holding it in the ceiling bounced off his head. "I think it's defective."

"I just love my job," Mr. Fuji groused, wondering if he had died and had gone to hell.

Author's Notes:

Mr. Strike's resilience is from military training and from being caught in many of his own explosions.