Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ The Return Home! ❯ The fight ( Chapter 4 )

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Alex casually walked into his bedroom. He stopped for a moment absorbing the strange atmosphere now washing over him. His eyes soaked up the vibrant colors of the furnishings and other adornments that made the room something special. The twentieth century décor conforming to both male and female taste that always made Alex feel safe and secure. The walls painted white with purple floral border conjoining walls and ceiling.

A white carpet spread itself to all corners of the room, and a picture of Hotaru hung upon the wall at the foot of the bed. The dark blue satin sheets, light bluish purple comforter with matching pillow shams gave the bed an elegant heir. The Manchester blending nicely with the paintings stunning indigo dress worn by Hotaru with its tiny spaghetti straps removed and were barely visible, and easily missed if the painting was not examined carefully by the observer. Hotaru’s hair fell a little past her shoulders at the time the portrait had been painted.

Hotaru’s loveliness was beautifully captured on canvas, her loveliness as fresh as a new dawn as she lived outside time itself. Hotaru struck a seductive pose; a white rose pinned above her left ear highlighted her allure. Alex smiled thinking to himself how she posed just for him, whilst others could only dream of possessing such a love as he shared with the beautiful princess. Hotaru commissioned the portrait a year after they started dating.

Alex noticed Hotaru sitting on the bed crying silently, and he was not up to talking to her at that moment. He turned and quietly left the room to give her time to stop crying and get her self together.

Hotaru lifted her head quickly, hearing the door open and Alex leaving. Hotaru wiped away salty tears. She did not hear him come in. She could not believe she allowed herself to be caught in an emotionally vulnerable position, and sitting on their bed of all places crying her heart out. She could not stick around and risk a confrontation where something might be said they might both regret later, especially if she was the one who said it. Alex stopped in the doorway and turned to face her.

"Alex, I ... I am so sorry. I did not think you would be coming back to the bedroom. I will leave and give you some space. I am sorry I’m unable to deal with this right now." Hotaru said looking nervously into Alex’s eyes.

"Hotaru, don't okay! I do not want to hear it. This is your room too if you remember as we happen to share a bed and plenty of time together here. I will find somewhere else to think. I have to clear my head before I can deal with this." Alex said not wanting to inflame the situation.

"I think we should talk now, especially since your mother is sticking her nose into our problems. I don't want her to get involved in our relationship difficulties!" she said as a hint of annoyance crept into her tone.

"What's happening between us Hotaru?" Alex questioned bitterly.

"I don't know. Do you?" Hotaru replied shakily.

"Hell, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. Can you fill me in, and what am I missing here? ... Why don't you want to marry me?" he asked looking at Hotaru.

She looked at him not knowing what to say. She loved him more than anything in the world, but she did not want to go through with the wedding. She took Alex by the hand and led him into the room so they could talk. She pushed gently on his shoulders to make him sit upon the bed. She was about to sit beside him, then thought better of it and remained standing.

"You know I love you, don’t you Alex … can you not see that? I think you can do a lot better than me. I am having my doubts about marrying you. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I am not ready for marriage yet, and certainly not to be your queen." Hotaru said unsure of Alex’s reaction to her statement.

"Hotaru, if I did not want you, I would not have asked you out, and committed myself to our relationship and asked you to marry me … I love you Hotaru! We were faced with the burden of ruling Crystal Tokyo until Luna’s magic combined with ours and the other Sailor soldiers to restore mother and father’s lives. In a week, I am going to be crowned joint King of the new Moon Kingdom, whilst mother and father hold the throne of Earth as high king and queen taking their rightful places as senior to my own, and yours too as my queen if you marry me. I have enough on my hands trying to deal with affairs of state. Today I learn you no longer wish to be my wife, and this is what I do not understand! … How can you say I can do better than the woman I love?" Alex said angrily standing up and pacing like a spawned tiger.

Hotaru was becoming uncomfortable and a little afraid; she had never seen Alex look so bitter and angry, especially towards her. Hotaru walked towards the balcony, and stepped through the French doors and looked outside. She lost herself in the beauty of the lavish palace gardens. She heard the lyric songs of small birds as they hopped about a sparkling water fountain. She always loved walking in the gardens with Alex, spending time alone together. She did not know if things would ever be the same after today and she felt a sudden sadness descend upon her heart weighing her down as Alex’s harsh voice pierced her temporary respite from their emotional confrontation.

"I can understand you having doubts … you think I didn’t after my parents were slaughtered? … I was wracked by grief and fear! … For crying aloud Hotaru after all that has happened how can you think this way? I thought I knew you. I guess I was mistaken. I thought you were different from other girls. I thought our relationship had something powerful and meaningful holding it together, something that set us apart from those relationships that too often crumble to dust … I thought maybe just maybe our relationship would be different, I guess I was wrong! … You know what, you’re right; I think we should call off the wedding if that’s how you feel!" Alex yelled feeling his rage like a powerful force course through his body.

Hotaru was stunned. She could not believe the man she loved, had so much anger built up inside him. The only time she had ever seen him this way was during their battle against Rubeus when he tried to take Rini, and it was for her his fury blazed.

Hotaru knew she messed things up, but she had no idea how to put things right and calm him down. She was afraid of the man she loved, for this was the worst she had ever seen him. She was never afraid of him until today, while knowing she hurt him so badly made her feel intense guilt, and she realized there was no going back.

*Maybe things might have worked out if I kept my mouth shut. I should not have asked Luna to speak to Alex for Me.* she thought trying to find somebody else to blame for her current dilemma. Hotaru was afraid of very few things in her life apart from venomous snakes and deadly insects. The fear Hotaru felt at this moment was different to anything she had ever experienced as she started to back away from Alex. He frightened her each time his voice grew louder and cold.

"Hotaru, don't you have anything to say? … For goodness sake, why are you cowering away? I have not done or said anything that could make you afraid of me. What is it, Hotaru? What's wrong with you?" Alex asked feeling the anger surge through him.

"I ... it’s just ... uh ... uh ..." she stuttered trying to explain her feelings.

She lost all sense of perspective as Alex stepped towards her, for he had no idea he terrified her so much at that moment and was stunned by her eyes that were filled with fear. She felt he was going to attack her physically, and looked towards the door and a voice inside her head told her she had only one chance to get away from him, and that was now. She watch him edge closer and closer. He kept his eyes upon hers; she could see hatred in his expression.

Alex watched Hotaru move slowly away from the balcony towards him. He believed she was about to say something to ease the tension in the room, but when she rushed past him for the door, he realized something was seriously wrong. Alex was so tired of the many confrontations where she would always run from an argument. She disliked his moods when he got upset with her. He always had to go after her, and this time he was not going to let her just simply walk away. The door was open a jar, just enough that if he threw something heavy he could close it. He found a stuffed animal she gave him two years ago for Valentine's Day. It did not weigh all that much and would have to do, if not he would close it one way or another. Alex then hurled the soft toy at the door not quite closing it. Hotaru reach for the door, but before she could pull the door open and walk out Alex came up behind her and kicked it closed.

Hotaru shrunk back quickly away from Alex. She moved as quickly as possible and sat upon the bed as he took three long strides in her direction. Before Alex realized what he had done, he had forcefully pulled Hotaru to her feet. The wide-eyed expression upon her face told the story, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not break free. Hotaru’s cries of pain did not elicit any sympathy, nor lessen his vice like grip. She tried once more to get away, and realized her wasted effort was an exercise in futility. She found herself pushed into a bedside chair, and Alex sat before her like a lion about to pounce upon its prey.

"Hotaru, what were you thinking … are you going to walk out on this conversation also? You know I think that is what you do best … run away! … Well, not this time … We’re going to work this out before our wedding next week … do you understand me?" Alex pronounced laying heavy emphasis on each word he said while staring into Hotaru’s frightened eyes.

She could only continue to stare at him as he spoke. Hotaru watched Alex’s every move, and was alert and on her guard. Alex unexpectedly reached for the bedside table, picking up a glass of water. She was surprised when he handed it to her and told her to drink it. Hotaru was alarmed as increasingly his anger had almost reached breaking point. Alex was yelling now, for he wasn’t aware of his state, as he demanded she answer him. She couldn’t find her voice, and found herself falling into his eyes, and she felt as if she were being consumed in the blue fire blazing within their fathomless depths, he was livid. She didn’t take her eyes away from his lest she provoke him further. Hotaru was terrified, and had no idea she was crying until Alex reached out and gripped her by the jaw. By this time, she was in such a state that all she could see were Alex’s lips moving silently. She was unable to hear a word he said. There was another voice screaming out in pain. The first thing that flew into Hotaru’s mind was that something had happened to Rini, and she had been hurt, then it dawned on her that the sounds rose from her own throat. Alex wasn’t aware of his actions at this point, for he was hurting her, whilst attempting to get her to listen to what he was trying to say.

"Do you understand me?" Alex kept repeating over and over.

Hotaru snapped out of her trance like state, and tore herself away from the magnetic power of his fiery eyes, for she couldn’t understand why he was totally losing it. She was shocked by the ferocity of Alex’s rage, and had no idea he possessed such an all-consuming temper until this moment. Alex had never hurt her like this before, and thought about other occasions when they had clashed. She asked herself why he was so ruff with her this time, and wondered if she could get through to him. He had her trapped by his powerful legs that flanked her thighs, and she was trapped like a butterfly pinned to the chair upon which she sat unmoving.

“I cannot go through with the wedding I told you Alex! I do love you, and I love you too much to let either of us make a mistake. You must find another, and somebody better able to take the mantle of queen as the Crystal Kingdom needs such a queen … find her Alex, forget me … I cannot be your bride. I am sorry. Please understand, now if you will excuse me, and allow me to be alone, Alex! …" Hotaru answered in a raspy tone caused by too much crying as heavy tears continued to fall.

“Why are you shaking like that Hotaru … I am not doing anything to you, and whatever is making you feel this way I want you to tell me.” Alex argued having no idea he was the cause of her state.

"Alex, don't dare try to act as if you kept your promise, because you just broke it! … You gave your word … as if I’m frightened; why don’t you try taking a look at the one who made me this way!" Hotaru shouted her tone releasing all of her anger and pain.

She shoved Alex's hands aside, stood up, pushed the chair against the wall, and headed for the door. She stopped when she felt his touch upon her shoulder. He was very gentle, but she was still scared stiff. She wanted to get as far away as possible from him, before he did something he would truly regret.

"What does your father have to do with this? He is not around to frighten you, and besides, he never did anything to hurt you!" he answered her still having no idea what she was talking about.

She pushed his hand away slowly and turned to him.

"I am not talking about my father. I loved my father and he showered me with all his love. The one I am talking about who has broken his promise is right here in this room … you only have to open your eyes Alex!" she answered staring up at his confused expression.

"Would you please quit talking in riddles? You know I hate that, and if you’re referring to someone in the palace I’ll talk to them … I promise … No one has any reason to yell at you!" Alex screamed.

He watched Hotaru jump back and cling to the door. He then realized he was the one of which she spoke! He felt like an idiot, and he was the one who broke his promise to her. She was cowering away from him. It was so clear he was responsible for her condition. He backed away from her and sat in the chair in which Hotaru was trapped only moments ago, like a frightened bird. He looked at her and waited to see what she would do next. He hoped she would sit upon the bed and talk things through, but she remained where she stood.

"Alex, this is not time for jests … you don’t have to bring on the tears to make me feel sorry for you, because I already do! You know, I will understand if you want to back out after realizing your mistake. Don’t worry about your parents, because I’ll tell them there won’t be a wedding!" Hotaru said coldly.

Alex felt the tears he didn’t believe were falling as he too was caught up in the tempest of conflicting emotions they both shared that seemed to fire their angst and pain, his face was wet and eyes stung as her words plunged like icy daggers into his heart. Alex fell to his knees, and realized how stupid he had been. He could not believe he lost control. He was horrified by the results of his loss of temper had caused. Alex’s self disgust reached a new high, for his lack of self control had left red fingerprints upon her chin while trying to make her listen to him. He really must be blind to his own faults like his father and Rini kept telling him.

"Hotaru, please stay, talk to me. We can work this out, I promise. I know I broke my word … I am the one solely responsible for making you feel fear and pain, I admit I have until this moment not realized what I had been capable of, and I am truly sorry Hotaru, please don’t do this … I am begging you … I love you Hotaru, and I’ve never felt this way for any other girl. You are the first I have ever cared about Hotaru. Please give me a chance to make it up to you and prove I am sorry … I want to also prove you are worthy of becoming my queen and bride. I love you … If you leave, I will die. I need you in my life Hotaru!" Alex implored as she held his fate in her delicate hands.

She watched as Alex cried his heart out. She asked herself whether she should really believe him after his recent behavior, but she also had to take into account the emotional strain of losing both parents, then having them restored back to life. She pondered his words, and wondered if he was sincere. She didn’t know, but she had to find out.

Suddenly, she noticed something was happening to the white rose pinned to his jacket. Hotaru realized he was truly hurting and was genuinely sorry for his actions. She couldn’t stand to see him on his knees and beg her to stay with tears streaming down his cheeks. Her mind was seesawing between extremes, for she found herself ready to gather him into her arms and forgive him. She would then feel a chilling delight in seeing this mighty warrior down upon his knees vulnerable and desperate. She thought about what he had done and how he had behaved. Hotaru’s thoughts spun like a whirlpool as she continued to watch the beautiful white rose bloom, whilst seeking her forgiveness. She gave into her darker emotions, and decided to ignore the beautiful display put on by the fragrant flower. It wasn’t the first time the rose had done this after a fight having offered his apology. She turned upon her heel and walked slowly out of their room. She had just stepped into the hall when she smelled something sour fill her nostrils. She didn’t know what or where the acrid odor came from, and turned to ask Alex if he could smell it too, then realized the odor came from the dying flower.

He believed Hotaru would not stay, nor give him a chance to explain his overwhelming anger and couldn’t blame her. He watched her closely as she stood staring at him. Alex had watched his fiancée walk out. He could not help but notice the scent of death in his room. Hotaru gasped audibly as she noticed the white rose had turned black, and started withering. Alex removed the dying rose and set it upon the floor. They both stared unblinking as the rose ate through the thick carpet. He looked back at Hotaru, as she approached tentatively.

Hotaru knew with a painful shock why the white rose was dying, for the rose represented the love they had, and when Hotaru decided to walk out on him for the last time, to never look back, the rose began to die. She moved closer to him and he looked up seeing her come towards him all the while keeping her gaze fixed upon the dying rose. When she knelt before him and smiled lovingly into his eyes, she noticed the rose rapidly rejuvenate as it transformed into a vibrant full-bloomed flower. She picked up the lovely rose, and placed her other hand in his and helped him to his feet.

“It was dying, and it’s restored!” Alex said in amazement and awe while gently stroking its delicate petals.

"Alex, the rose did what it did on its own. It has happened only one other occasion … You were not paying attention at the time, and this was naturally understandable given the circumstances, but when Serena and Darien were brought back, your rose that had been wilting had suddenly had recovered its beauty. Serena told me of many occasions during an argument where Darien’s rose would wilt, and they would stop, sit and work out their relationship problems and make-up. You know, I have never seen your roses rot like that before Alex. Darien’s red roses never did what it has on this occasion. You know why, it is because this rose represents a stronger power than your father’s beautiful red roses. This rose withered because I walked out on an intensely serious conversation that dealt with our future. The power in this rose knew what was at stake! You see, if I had kept going and not turn back, our future would have been destroyed and it would have spelt the end of us forever. The power in this rose knows what is happening, and did the only thing it could to deal with the situation … and so it wilted and began to die. After seeing the rose and the light in your eyes die, I realized then I almost made the biggest mistake of my entire life. How could I think I could give up the life I have with you. I love you Alex … My reluctance to marry was fuelled by insecurity, and a lack of self-esteem, for I felt you would not want me after we married. It took that little white rose to make me realize how much I love you. I could not give that up, nor would I ever do so my love." Hotaru sat on the bed beside him and placed her hand upon his shoulder anxiously waiting his response.

It took her by surprise when he placed his head in her lap, something he rarely did. He only did this when they were alone and about to spend a romantic night together. She would read one of her novels after dinner, and he would look up at her between pages and smile whilst she brushed his hair out of his eyes and lean over to kiss him.

"Hotaru, what we have is so special and I would do anything to protect it. I love you, and nothing can come between us. There is no way I would ever tire of you, and I think you know that by now, for nobody could make me feel as you do Hotaru." Alex said smiling into the beautiful gray eyes as her fingertips moved gently across his scalp as she played with his thick black hair.

Alex lay back like that for a time, then he sat up and he pulled her gently to her feet. He loved her more than life itself, and he had wanted her to feel the strength of their love within her heart and bring it fully to the surface. She just stared at him in awe, unable to think of anything to say. Hotaru looked up at him expectantly, looked into his eyes and jumped into his arms crying while he held and soothed her. She was so happy she had someone that loved her so much. Hotaru had never felt anything like this before, and this level of love was completely new to her.

"Hotaru my sweet, I’m so glad we’ve worked through this. I want you to remind me to watch my moods, and not lose my temper. I want you to slap me, or just take a walk in the garden if I ever lose it in the future … I never want to ever hurt you again. We are going to have the occasional disagreement, but it need not be anything like this. I promise no matter what, I will try to keep my cool, and not lose control like I did today!" Alex vowed feeling the warmth of Hotaru’s lovely body almost melt into his.

Hotaru tilted her head up and answered, "Alex, I don't mind if you get upset, it’s understandable from time to time and very human, but when you lost it earlier it scared me a lot. I did not know how to react, but now I know we’ve got a chance and your mother’s Imperium Silver Crystal will re-align our energies, and balance the extremes within us both my love … so go easy on yourself as I know your heart has just spoken . You know I appreciate that you have a temper that is for sure, for I have the red marks to prove it!“ Hotaru giggled as she kissed Alex gently upon his smiling lips.

"I would never hurt you no matter how I carry on like a wounded tiger on occasion. I would never raise a hand to any woman, especially you. I would make an exception when it comes to our new enemies, but even then, it’s a task I dread." Alex said as he gently massaged Hotaru’s neck and shoulders.

Hotaru felt his sincerity and knew he spoke honestly. She leant forward, and then kissed him deeply with all the love she possessed. Hotaru finally pulled back, and looked at him seeing the love they shared in his deep blue eyes. She was simply happy they got through this day without regretting anything.

Alex noticed Hotaru had started crying again, but this time it was for a different reason. These were tears of joy, and he sighed as she buried her face in the folds of his uniform’s soft blue fabric against his chest as tears ran down her cheeks. He lifted her chin, and kissed her tenderly. Alex didn’t know what he would ever do without her. He was glad he would never have to find out, for his love for Hotaru was total, and he loved her with everything he had. Alex would rather die at the hands of the enemy than ever lose his one and only love.

She leant over, and picked up the beautiful white rose and tickled his nose, and he likewise did the same. They laughed as the sounds of the day flowed into the room, and life seemed to start anew for the two young lovers.

Alez leaned down and started kissing Hotaru passonitaly on her rosy red lips while walking her backwards and pushing her down on the bed. Alex spent the rest of the night showing her just how much he really loved her.