Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction ❯ For A Life Together ❯ Uncertainties ( Chapter 8 )

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Allen waited patiently, well, as patiently as he could in his room as he tapped his foot against the cool marble floor. He wondered if Van was done talking to Hitomi. It was so surreal. How was Hitomi able to come back? She looked different, but the glowing around their bodies…

There was a sudden knocking on his door and he stood, walking over to the door. Allen opened it silently to Van looking down the hall, and as he tried to knock again, hit Allen in the chest. He snapped his head forward and apologized immediately. Allen stepped aside to let the shorter man come into the room.

He noticed that Van didn't have the depressed and gloomy look about him. It seemed as though was is already recovering.

"Allen." Van said hastily as he moved deeper inside with Allen following him calmly and sat in the chair that he occupied previously.

"Sit down Van. You seem to frail right now to get overly excited."

"Allen! I," Van couldn't continue with Allen babying him. "I need to speak with you! And I'm not fragile. I'm still as strong as I was then!" Allen made a face and stood, walking over to the younger man, where he stood towering over him with his six foot frame. He suddenly punched Van in the arm, causing the younger man to stumble back in surprise and pain. Van regained his footing and sneered at his blond friend.

"Why did you do that?!" Allen waited a moment and walked up to Van, who leaned back a little but did not step back from the blond man. Allen reached forward and placed his hand gently on the king's shoulder.

"I am not blind, Van. Nor are any of your close friends. They know how you feel. Even by looking at you, one can tell of the sadness and depression of your emotions and how unhappy you are. One only needs to make the connections and will soon come up the cause." Van looked a little shocked that Allen was telling him this. Yes, he had guessed that the people looked at him and wondered, but that's as far as it would probably go. But here, Allen and the others have been thinking about him and his condition…and the cause. Van looked away feeling a little too exposed.

Allen reached to his bicep and lifted the sleeve that covered the area where he'd hit him.

"Look Van. It was a punch that three months ago, wouldn't have mattered or caused you any pain; It was to be forgotten seconds later. But now you stumble and wince. Now proof begins to show through your pale skin, the bruise of that punch. You must recognize your position Van. Your body isn't the same it once was because you let yourself fall into the depths of depression. You have grown weary and now you sleep most of the day and barely keep up with your training."

Van looked over at his upper arm to see a bruise forming. Allen was right, there was no denying it. Well he could but…

"You have no energy to deal with the arguments of denying it and will only give you a headache." Van looked over to Allen and narrowed his eyes. "I only want to help you Van, but I can only do that if you listen to me. But I cannot get you out of your melancholy. Only Hitomi can do that and now we shall go on to that topic of why you are here, Van. Tell your story and I will ask afterwards." Van has never seen Allen like this but besides Merle, he would talk to him and share some stories. Right now he was the only person he could confide in.

"Thank you Allen and I am sorry for not coming to any of you for my problems." Van sat down across from Allen on another comfortable chair. He put his hands on his knees, then shifted to cup them together, showing his obvious nervousness.

"I know this is going to sound crazy but after I bathed, I-I saw Hitomi." Van waited for a sudden gasp or an 'oh my god' like Merle would have said, though he could not see Allen doing that, but he waited for a reaction, anything. It never came. He looked at Allen as he sat there listening.

"Go on." That was kind of odd.

"And we were talking and I could feel her in my arms. It was like she was truly here, Allen and it felt wonderful. I told her how much she. . . meant. . to me…" Van's voice died down as he was feeling more self-conscious about revealing his emotions. "But what had brought her here was that I was thinking of her and she the same. Something linked us together, in which I believe was my pendant and her tarot cards. They have some kind of powers. It all lasted for about fifteen minutes and then we both faded away, back to where we originally were. I-I'm going to think about her tonight at eleven. We both agreed to do so."

"I'm happy for you Van."

"Why are you accepting this without doubt? Why aren't you asking me if it was only in my head or if I was unconscious or something?" Van eyed his friend, suspiciously.

"Because I went to visit you and I saw Hitomi in your arms. I would never doubt you anyway, even if I didn't happen to walk in on you. I will always believe you Van because I trust you and you are my friend, my comrade." Van nodded and smiled slightly.

"I want her here with me. I want her by my side and if there's no way that she can come here, I will try to find my way to her."

"But what about Fanelia?" Van hesitated a moment. What about his duties, his obligations? He loved his country but, but will he have to rule it alone? No, he will never be alone, but truly content? Would he rather rule a country or be with the one he loved so dearly? Tough questions.

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well how do you know what to do all the time? Would you have thought it best to be with Melerna if you had that chance? Do you still want to be with her? Are you really happy with just being a soldier?"

"I have my loyalties,"

"But you're also a person who needs love and attention! You need that more than anything, right? Isn't that more important than your occupation?" There was silence. Both not knowing how to answer those questions about their feelings and what they truly want. Being a King and the top soldier had their duties, but what about what they want? What about their lonely nights of wanting to share their accomplishments and just have someone there to support them lovingly? Was that more important? Could someone possible live without that?

"Everyone needs someone." Allen started. "But sometimes...people just have to sacrifice their personal lives for others. They have to know what is better, what happiness that they could bring to many instead of one." Van saw it that way but he didn't want to be alone. He wanted someone to love him and come home to. He wanted Hitomi!

"But what do I get out of it at the end? Fame? Van De Fanel, the Great King of Fanelia! I don't care! Don't I get to be happy too? Don't I deserve something? Am I really happy in this position?" Van cut himself off as his voice wavered. He lowered his head into his hands. Does he not deserve anything for what he did? He didn't care about money or having a castle as a home. None of that mattered when you couldn't share it with anyone. That's why when in a loving couple and one dies, the other cannot possibly live another second without them. That's who they love and how are you possibly suppose to live and move on without them? They are who you lived for. It's what happened to his mother when his father died. She was always depressed and lonely and did not last very long after that as she grew tired and exhausted. She couldn't bare to be without her beloved and soon after, died of a broken heart.

'Hitomi is who I live for.'

"Allen..."

The door to Allen's room flew opened and several guards rushed in.

"Sorry to intrude sir, but there has been an accident in the city near the castle. Many have been hurt and are suffering. There are not enough doctors to help them. Permission to send some soldiers and doctors from the castle to assist, your Majesty." Van was to his feet and Allen followed quickly.

'What did these soldiers live for?'... His mind interjected. 'Would they take on such a job if they could, knowing that they couldn't be with their loved ones?' Van shifted his stance and stood tall.

"What makes you think you could ask of something like that?" The soldier looked up at Van surprised with sweat trickling down his face and worry was etched in his features.

"I-I have a family near the area, sir. I'm very worried about them. I don't know what I would do if they were to-" Another soldier step in front of the other.

"Even if it wasn't someone he or anyone of us cared for, they are the people of Fanelia and we are sworn to protect each and every one of them including you, Lord Van." Van nodded. There was the man's family and there was his duty as a King to protect all of Fanelia...

The king did not dwell on his thoughts any longer as he commanded straightaway what was to be done.

"Send everyone out to help them and make sure all the wounded are taken care of immediately. If you must, use the castle grounds and emergency facilities to help them. Do everything you must. Make sure the security around the city is on full alert!" The soldiers nodded and ran out of the room. Van and Allen were ready to leave the room to see what the damage report was and what caused such a disaster to occur, when a messenger rushed into the room.

"I'm sorry your eminence, you are needed." Van nodded and took off without a second thought.

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3:03...*sound of clock*

3:04...*tick-tick*

3:05...*tick-tick*

"Hitomi?"

3:05...

"Hitomi!"

Green eyes darted away from the clock and into the chestnut color of very familiar eyes.

"Hitomi? Are you okay?" A new voice echoed behind her. Her mind came back from the daze.

"Yukari, Amano. Hey..." Yukari started gathering the blond girls' stack of college informational tablets, documentation and stuffed them in her bag.

"You were drifting again during the presentation! How are we possibly going to ever make it to the same college if you don't pay attention, girl? And not even that! You weren't even ready today for sign-ups and the open house for college! You didn't even remember it was today, Sunday! I don't even know how many times they said it in school and all the papers pinned on the walls too!" She sighed. "Come on. It's all over and we got all the information we need. How can you just still be sitting here? Did you even look through it all?" Amano looked over to Yukari and mouthed the word 'diner'. His girlfriend silently agreed.

"Kanzaki? Do you want to come with us to the diner?" 'Diner? No, I want to see-'

"Yes you do Hitomi! And don't try to talk your way out of this one. You have been in your slump too long and I won't have it anymore. Let's go and I won't hand back your bag until we get to the diner and get some food into you!" Hitomi stood and looked at her friends. "Here Amano!" She shoved the bag in her boyfriends hands. He pouted.

"You said that *you* wouldn't give it to her, not me." Yukari smiled and turned to Hitomi.

"Yukar~i. I'm tired." The brunette grabbed her less-than-enthusiastic friend and dragged her out of school with an embarrassed boyfriend behind, apologizing to everyone she bumped into and cut off.

As they were going down the street, Yukari and Amano's hands came together and eventually Amano dipped down and gave her a tiny, soft kiss on the cheek. He watched her as she grew bashful and giggled.

This is what Hitomi did not want to see. Oh, but those kisses were perfect. She remembered exactly how they felt. How light and soft his lips were. Van was a shy person and she knew that. Even though she was going to throw her arms around him, he had made the first move and that surprised her. But all in all, it was wonderful to know that he loved her and all she had to do was think about him. She held back a small chuckle. Like thinking about him was a hard thing to do. It was never hard to think about him. She was going to see him tonight. Oh, she couldn't wait but she supposed that it would be wise to listen to Yukari.

Hitomi felt an arm wrap around her shoulders and looked over to see her best friend smiling happily at her. Yukari could not be any more happier. She had everything, and the man holding her hand was a big part of her everything.

They had fun at the diner. Actually, it was more fun than she had in a long time. Things were looking up for her and she could not believe that she was going to see him tonight. Hitomi readied for bed as she showered and brushed her teeth. She made sure to tell her family good night and that her door was locked from her brother's unannounced intrusions. She looked herself over in the mirror and noticed how she had changed since last she saw Van. Her hair was a little longer, she didn't bother to cut it and it came to about the midst of her neck. Obvious to her, Van had grown thinner and his muscles were less defined and to him, she had grown thinner as well. It seemed as though they both were hoping and thinking of the other.

She took hold of the tarot card and sat on her bed with her legs drawn to her chest. Her chin rested on her knees as she looked at the card longingly, already giddy and needing his touch. Hitomi loved Van. Van loved her. There was no denying it. She wanted to be with him forever and now, she could not wait to see him again. To feel his arms around her body and to tell him everything.

Her digital clock, that had been abused so many times in the past, clicked ten fifty-three.

Just a little longer and she would see him again. Just a little longer...

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Review please??? Van and Hitomi want to know what you think too!! *All 3 of us look at you with big puppy eyes and cute protruding lower lips*

~BlizzardAngel~ ...And ~Van and Hitomi!!!~