X-Men Fan Fiction ❯ I am Death ❯ Solitude ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel Comics characters, but I do own Rose and the plot.

A/n: This is my own interpretation of the characters, and how I think they would react to certain situations.

I am death

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Chapter 2: Solitude

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The grim reaper, what a cruel name they have given me. It makes what I do sound like something horrible, something worth fearing. But they never seem to remember that they condemned themselves to the crossfire, I am merely a spectator. My one and only rule has always been: “Do not interfere with the business of mankind.” and I have never done any attempts to meddle with people's lives.

It isn't fare that they blame me for their final verdict, if anything I am the one who's innocent. They all seem to forget that I do not hurt them; they have already done that to themselves.

I come to the ones in pain, and I take it away, banish their suffering and dry their tears. I quench the dehydrated mans thirst, I allay the starving mans hunger.

I bring comfort to the broken man, silence his mourning, and heal all his injuries. For me you are all equal, no matter what your deeds might have been, it all fades away as we walk through the darkness. I do not judge, I merely listen to whatever you have to say. With me by his side, even the crippled man is able to walk. With me, there is no pain, no remorse, no fear or grieve. There is only you and I.

I never wished to hurt anyone, and I never did… right? If I were not there to cut their lifelines, someone else would be. If I had spared everyone except for the old, they would soon condemn us for abandoning them. The man with cancer would live his whole life in pain; the soldier caught in barbed wire would suffer as if he were in the crossfire, unable to die, unable to be relieved from his agony. People would turn their back at God, and curse him, because what God leaves his children to suffer?

They just didn't see all I did for them.

These were the thoughts that resounded inside my head as I sat on the bed in what had become my room. The decoration went with the one in the rest of the mansion, wooden floor, old wallpapers and a magnificent bed. It was a… beautiful room. I found that I enjoyed just looking at it, in all its splendour.

Storm had stayed to make sure I settled down, and then she had gone, and left me to my solitude.

I had carefully searched trough the room, eager to ensure myself that I would never forget how it looked. I was determined to make sure that I would always remember everything about this room, the smell, the light and the shadows. As eternity passed by, this would be the one memory I had to comfort me, like a souvenir taken from the short time I was real.

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The first time I heard anyone here talk about my instructor to be, was when I wandered through an empty corridor, trying to find my way to a certain classroom. Three days had gone by, and I was actually beginning to like this place a bit. I had just come to the conclusion that I was lost when the scent of three mutants came drifting towards me, and then I heard someone say His name. At that moment, all thoughts of finding my way to class disappeared, scattered like sand in the wind.

I quickly rounded the corner, and found three young mutants standing in a group. Their eyes turned to me. At first, no one of them moved, and I could almost swear that time had stopped there for a second. They stared at me, hypnotized and awestruck. But then, jus like Beast had done, they flinched and returned to their senses. One of the two girls (Rogue) gave me a timid smile, and then raised one hand and waved.

“Hi there, you must be new here?” I just nodded agreeing. After all, that is exactly what I am here, new… brand new.

“I'm Marie, but everyone calls me Rogue.” She told me, and then reached out her hand. I realized that it was my turn to perform the ritual, and so I said:

“Hi you guys. I'm Rose, and I just arrived here some days ago.” I grabbed her hand and shook it twice, firmly, but not aggressive.

“Welcome here then Rose, These are my two friends Bobby, (Iceman) and Kitty (Shadowcat).” I bent my head down in a quick movement as a sign of respect. Now that we were through that, it was time for business.

“Whom were you lot talking abut earlier?” I asked, careful not to sound eager, just slightly curious. By the mention of Him, Bobby frowned and Rogue threw a quick glance at Kitty.

“Oh, n-no one. It was nothing important.” Kitty stuttered.

Hm, okay so they didn't want to tell me. This was not a problem, just a sign telling me that I had to play my cards right. The fact that I was about to manipulate them into telling me what I needed to know, play the game after my rules, left me with a slight feeling of, well… guilt. (What is happening to me?)

“Oh, okay then. Hey, come to think of it. I have this old acquaintance, not a close friend, just someone I met some time ago. He told me he was a mutant also, and I must admit that I had some hopes of finding him here.” The tension in the air was gone in a second. Rogue smiled again as she eagerly replied:

“Well it is very possible that he is here. This school is one of the few sanctuaries in this country. We even have mutants coming here from all over the world.” She told me, her eyes sparkling. I found her beautiful in a way. Her soft and timid gaze and the two white streaks in her hair reminded me of innocence and purity. But even though she might be soft as silk, I still could se a warrior in her eyes.

“Oh really, sweet. He told me his name was John Allerdyce, but that he preferred to be called Pyro.” I said, waiting for the reaction. It was almost immediate, and strong.

Both girls flushed, and Bobby frowned in an angry sort of way.

“What?” I loathed myself for playing dumb, but I had no other choice. This was how it had to be done, I could see the path leading to my instructor very clearly, and trust me; this was how it had to be done. With a grim look on his face, Bobby said:

“He's a traitor. He left us to join Magneto.” Now it was my turn to frown, what did they mean? Who was Magneto? I'd known he weren't here at the moment, but this?

Kitty looked at me, and seemed to notice that I was lost.

“Magneto is a very powerful mutant. He has formed a force with other mutants who believe that the only way us mutants can live in peace, is if all the others are, well, terminated.” I nodded, suddenly understanding why my instructors' time was growing short. It was dangerous business he meddled with. What really concerned me was the possibility that he might die before I got my answer. I realized that I would have to sort this out. I had to get him back here, out of danger until I knew the secret. What is life, what is it?!

“I'm sorry, but he is out of our reach now.” Kitty told me, and… was that pity in her eyes. I knew that my chocked expression was obvious, but to find that a human, a simple human pitied me was, traumatic somehow.

“But if he changed his mind, what if he realized his mistake and wished to return? Would he be forgiven for his madness?” I asked. I had to get him back her, just had to! His fate was tied to mine, so when he died, my body would stop to exist. I would become a bodiless conscious again. I could not let that happen.

They smiled, all three of them. Their smiles were somehow horrifying, `cause they held no joy whatsoever.

“Of course. Xavier is willing to forgive anyone who seeks redemption here. He would be welcomed back, but that won't happen. I am very sorry…” Rogue stated in a small voice.

I let my gaze wander around the room, creating a disoriented appearance.

“Well, at least that is a comforting thought.” I replied, and then excused myself.

Now, I would go to class, and after that I had to come up with a plan to retrieve John Allerdyce to the `good' side.

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Back in my room that afternoon, my question to why everyone stared at me was answered.

I came in through the door, and dumped my schoolbooks at the huge bed. And then I went inside the bathroom, in hope to find some paper or so to wrap around my bleeding index finger. I had cut it on one of the pages in the book during last class of the day. It was a shallow cut, but it bled a bit, so I wanted something to wrap around it.

After I'd searched through the bathroom cupboard without finding any paper, I shut it with an aggravated gesture. This was quite frustrating. And then I happened to look in the mirror on the cupboards door, in front of me. Now I understood their staring gazes a bit more.

I was beautiful in a grim, but frail looking way. I had light porcelain skin, rounded red lips, a thin straight nose and big burning eyes. My gaze had the colour of amber, and the burning lustre inside it must be the thing all the fuss was about. I could understand why everyone seemed to be spellbound as they met my eyes, `cause even I myself felt like hypnotized. Was this how I would have looked if I had been human?

All these `what if' questions that had begun to pop up inside my head were quite disturbing. Being death was much easier if you didn't question, didn't wonder or reflected.

Some sort of feeling suddenly rose within me, and it was not a nice one. Disgust, I felt disgusted about myself as I stared into my flaming gaze. What am I? I had always thought of what I did as a salvation, but was it really? Maybe I came as a salvation for the ones in pain, for the one who had lost their desire to live, but what about the happily married man with wife and children? The man who were run down by a school bus on his way to work?

I shook my head, and turned away from the mirror. Wondering about this would not help anyone. I am what I am, and nothing will change that.

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It was time to bring John back. It was an ugly trick I was about to play on him, but I had no choice. I had decided that the only way I could reach through to him, without leaving this mansion, was to enter him mind. So I lay down on the big bed, closed my eyes, and left my body behind as my conscious wandered of. It was time to play with fire.

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Somewhere, in a darkened camp, inside a small white tent, laid John Allerdyce. He was asleep, and had been so for some hours. In fact, there was a mutant outside the tent, sitting by the fire, which were supposed to wake him up within half an hour. The mutant by the steadily burning fire had no idea though, that John Allerdyce would not remain sleeping in his tent for much longer.

Inside the tent, the young man began to move on his small mattress. He frowned, and grunted silently. Something had disturbed him this night, and it was not the cracking sounds from the fire, and not the sound of the still wind that blew. It was something else, something far more ominous.

Suddenly, the young mutant opened his eyes. His gaze was wild and tainted with fear, and something else… remorse? He lay still for a moment, and then he jumped up and got dressed. The he froze for a second, looking slightly confused, as if he didn't understand what drove him to do this. Then, quick and silent as a shadow, he snuck out of the tent, and disappeared into the darkness.

St. John Allerdyce had begun the journey home.

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