X-Men Fan Fiction ❯ I am Death ❯ The mistake I made ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel Comics characters.

 

I am Death

 

Chapter 3: The mistake I made

 

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I found Rogue outside my room this morning. She seemed happy today, and greeted me with one of her timid smiles.

 

“Good morning Rose, I saw that you and I are in the same class this morning, and I thought we could walk together to it?” Her eyes shifted and I understood that she was nervous. We were a lot different the two of us, but I were still glad for the company, so I nodded.

 

“Okay, just give me a moment to get my books.”

 

Classes were a bit difficult for me; because I only know what the people I've brought to the other side has told me. I have limited knowledge in most fields, and a lot of my information was totally wrong. So for the most part, I just sat in the back of the classroom, silent and without attracting any attention.

First class today were held by Xavier. I hadn't had any lessons with him yet, and therefore I did not know what to expect. But it went fine, he didn't ask me anything I could not answer, and by the end I felt like I could relax. Rogue sat in the bench at my left, whispering with Bobby under her breath. They were making some sort of plans, probably about how they would spend their afternoon. I didn't really care much. I already knew how I would spend mine, alone. I thought being human would be a lot different from being a reaper, but I was wrong.

I flinched at the realization that Rogue had just asked me something. I blinked foolishly and turned my eyes to her.

 

“You may excuse me, I wasn't listening to you.” One corner of her mouth twitched a bit, as if she found my choice of words amusing. I still weren't that good with words, and everyone thought it was pretty much fun, except for me of course. I wanted to blend in, not stand out because I talked strange. I would have to work on that.

 

“I asked if you would like to go ice-skating with us after school's done for today.”

Ice-skating, what is that? I've heard a lot of strange things from the people I've brought to the other side, but I could not recall a single one who had told me about ice-skating. Therefore, my first reaction was to refuse her offer, but then I thought of all the hours I would have to spend alone if I did so.

 

“Um, okay. I've never gone ice-skating before, but I guess it could be fun.” And why wouldn't it? My time here as a real person were limited, so why not trying something new while I was here, right?

 

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After an hour and a half on ice, everyone agreed on the point that I was a horrible skater. I was feeling a bit on edge, what a stupid way of spending your time, sliding over ice. I am the reaper for God's sake, not a simple human. But I did not show my aggravation to them, because bearing the title `Death' I am not supposed to judge anyone. If this was what they called fun, then it was their gain, or loss.

We walked together up the path leading back to the school when it struck me how strange this was. I had come here, in a brand new body, to solve the riddle `life', and now I was walking here. Suddenly I felt impatient. He, my tutor, had still not showed up and I was wasting time here. Thousands of people waited to die, to be released, and I were stuck here with the same questions, if not more than when I first arrived.

But he was coming; I felt it in the air.

 

I split up from Bobby and Rogue as we reached the mansion. I felt like I needed to be alone with my feelings. Though feeling was not such a new thing for me, I had never felt something else than boredom and curiosity before, and I found all these new feelings kind of hard to sort out.

Every time I happened to catch my own reflection in a window, or something else, I just felt like throwing up. It was as if I couldn't stand to look at myself, stare into those burning eyes who had seem so much, but still knew nothing at all. All the souls I had taken seemed to stare back at me, and I couldn't stand it. What was happening to me, and why? I thought this would make my existence much easier, but instead I found myself pondering around things that were totally inappropriate. If `It', the highest power knew about this, what would happen to me then?

You see using the term God, as I have done this far is not quite correct. Just like me, the highest power is an all-knowing conscious. To believe that there is a man, sitting bend over the universe, poking his fingers into the doings of this world is a quite naïve, and very common apprehension among mankind.

I was created by the highest power. Since I was never born, I had no such thing as a childhood, I just didn't exist, and then I did exist. It is hard for me to explain what I am, since I'm not to sure about that anymore myself. Everything out here was so big, and so difficult. I felt like I had lived in a box in eternity, where everything had only one answer. Maybe that was how my existence had been?

 

I had sunk so deep into my own thoughts; I didn't notice the man sitting in a wheelchair twenty feet down the corridor. I didn't even see him until I almost bumped right into him.

 

“Oh, professor, I didn't notice you were here!” I said, startled.

 

“No, I could not help to notice that. You know that if there is something that is bothering you, my door is always open.” Xavier told me, his gaze piercing me. This time he did no attempts to read my mind however. I realized why everyone felt so safe here. Professor Xavier was an honest man, who always remembered to use his power with respect. And with a sting of shame, I realized that I looked forward to the day I would come to get him. What amazing things he would be able to share with me as we walked towards the light.

He seemed to understand that I had not intentions to answer him.

 

“Would you mind walking with me for a while Rose?” He asked me. I felt tempted to say `no', but then I felt the curiosity tingle in the back of my mind, so instead I said:

 

“Not at all, I would love to.” Love? It took me a moment to understand what I had just said. I had heard some souls speaking of the word `love' during our first and final walk together, and to me, the word was nothing more than the opposite of `hate'. But those I'd heard talking about it had described love as something wonderful.

Now I had just stated that I would `love' to walk with the professor, and hear what he had to say. Did that mean anything, or was it just a phrase people used?

 

The professor gestured for me to follow him, and so we walked down the corridor in silence. I felt he had some questions he wanted to ask me, but waited for the right moment to ask them. Therefore, I kept my mouth shut and took the time to appreciate what a beautiful house this was.

We came to a halt in front of an elevator. I silently wondered where we were heading, but didn't want to ask. After all, I would find it out soon enough. We stepped inside the elevator and the professor pressed a button. Down we went, until the display told me we had reached the underground level, and then the doors slid open. In my mind I was amazed, was there another part of this place, hidden beneath the surface of the earth?

We stepped out into a long corridor that split in four. I looked in all directions, but saw naught but more hallways. The whole place seemed to be made of some sort of metal… aluminum maybe? And all the doors I caught a glimpse of wore huge X-markings. This was some kind of secret base, I realized. Suddenly, I couldn't hold back my questions anymore.

 

“Professor, correct me if I'm wrong, but I get a feeling that the school is more like a cover to make sure you can hide this place.” Xavier looked at me, and I could see a warm smile in his eyes.

 

“Yes, this is why I founded the school. Most teachers, and a group of the older students here are members of the X-men. I formed them so I could meet the growing threat from Magneto.”

 

“What is Magneto's special power?” I asked with pure curiosity.

 

“Eric can control metal. He is driven by the ghosts of his past, and unfortunately for us, he is also very powerful. His talents in persuasion is extensive, which only makes him more dangerous.”

 

“And that's the reason why Pyro left?” Xavier flinched and met my gaze. I could see pure fascination in his eyes.

 

“You know much Rose, suspiciously much. Yes, Magneto has the ability to tell you exactly what you need to hear, and that is how he lured Pyro to join his cause.” The professor said, with streaks of bitterness permeating his voice. I got a sudden feeling that the professor felt guilty for losing Him to the dark side. Did he care so much for all of them, like the phrase `All for one, one for all'?

 

“Does every loss plague you like this?”

He looked surprised, like he would have expected almost everything, except that question. He peered at me, as if looking for something in my eyes. Was he looking for a sparkle that would unveil me as a perpetrator?

 

“If I answer your question Rose, will you grant me a question in return?”

“Yes, of course, and I swear to answer as truthfully as I can.” What would his question be? Could he sense that there was something with me that was not quite right, or had he seen the millions of forsaken souls reflect throughout my eyes?

 

“Loss is always hard to deal with, but the toughest losses are those that could have been prevented. I saw the warning signs posted around John Allerdyce, but in my foolishness I chose to look the other way, telling myself he would find the right path himself. Therefore, the weight of his soul rests upon me, and me alone.” I actually felt sorry for the elder man, not because I were expected to, but because the melancholy I saw reflecting through his eyes were genuinely real. I knew that every word he'd uttered came from the heart. But I could also sense that he told me nothing more than he had to, and really who could blame him? He was right, I knew much about people, maybe a bit too much.

 

“Then I understand, you feel guilt for not trying harder to save him from the fate you could divine coming… But know also this professor. Every man is responsible for the decisions he makes, right or wrong. All we can do sometimes is to forgive those who seek redemption for their mistake.” I paused as we came to a halt. The fascination in his eyes was now a bit more obvious than before.

“You answered my question truthfully, and now it is my turn. Ask whatever you wish.” I continued.

 

He was silent for a few seconds, deeply sunken into his own thoughts, and out of respect, I did not attempt to find out what he was thinking about. Finally, he made up his mind

 

“What are your powers, really?”

The question surprised me a bit. It was nothing like I had expected to be asked. He was a very perceptive man, Charles Xavier, and he seemed to have the strangle quality to ask the questions that would provide him with as much information as possible.

 

“I have many powers professor. Before I came here, I would have said that healing was what I did, but now… I am not so sure anymore.”

 

“Well then Rose I want you to know that I understand and respect that you can tell me naught more than this. However, I have another question.” He began moving again, and I followed close behind. We were heading towards one of the X-marked doors, and I had a feeling that the room behind it was our destination, and had been so from the beginning of our stroll. He correctly interpreted my silence as an approval.

 

“How can it be so, that you have such exceeding knowledge about people, but yet you seem to know almost nothing about the world and its doings?” I sighed heavily. Though I really wanted to answer his question, I knew I could not. Even if he would believe me, the highest power would not look upon me with mild eyes if it came to its knowledge that I told the secrets of the divine to mortals.

 

“If you are not yearning for filthy lies, then this is one of the things I cannot tell you, even if I would want to. I am sorry…” And I really was, sorry for everything.

 

We stepped through the doors and into a square, bone white room. It had a strange looking metal table in the center, and beside the table stood some sort of machine. The word `scanner' resounded inside my mind, but I still knew that it was not quite right, but close.

“I beg you not to feel guilty. Whatever your reasons are, I can never force you into telling me anything Rose. If I would ever do that, I would have forsaken all my beliefs at once.”

Then he gestured towards the metal table.

 

“This is were we analyze mutants to get a clearer picture of the extent of their powers.”

I looked at it, and understood what he was referring to.

 

“You want to make an analyze of me?” I asked him. Though he showed no sign of approval, I knew I'd been right. As I searched for a reason to deny being analyzed, I found myself out of excuses. With a small sigh I asked:

 

“What should I do then?”

 

“Just lie down, and let me attach these two sensors to your forehead.”

 

I lied down at the table, and the professor told me that this would feel a lot like sleeping. But as he turned on the device, I felt my conscious leave my body, which appeared to be sleeping. I watched the professor look at the screen that was plugged into the analyze-device. I could se myself on the screen, but then the picture changed. Row after row filled with text blinked on the screen. As I watched the professor read what it said, I saw his face expression change from confounded into surprised, fascinated and then finally, he looked awestruck.

Finally he whispered:

“Yes Rose, you are remarkable in all the word's meaning.”

 

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A/N:

(To quote a fantastic writer her at fanfiction.net)

 

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