Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monster GX Fan Fiction ❯ Lovely Idiot ❯ Grasp ( Chapter 2 )

He ran as fast as he could. He was already exhausted but if he stopped, he might break down. Then he probably wouldn't be able to stand up; he'd just lay on the ground wallowing and crying. 'That Johan, saying something like that... he really is the worst! Even though he really didn't seem to be mocking me...', much to his dismay, his mind had started analysing what had happened. He found himself gradually slowing down and in a few minutes he had reached the cliffs and sat down. But no matter how much he repeated Johan's words into his mind he couldn't understand them. An hour later he was confused, angry and, quite frankly on the verge of crying his eyes out. And that's how Asuka found him.

- Judai, are you alright? - her voice startled him but he quickly managed to recover. He thought of just lying to her, telling her he's alright and sending her away but...

- Asuka... is there, something more than friendship?

- Eh? - 'What is that about really...', she suddenly wondered if this had anything to do with Johan. After all, it seemed they didn't hang together lately, and Judai had gone to the Blue dorm today, looking almost angry at something. - Judai, what is this sudden question? Is there something on your mind? - she carefully sat beside him, waiting for an explanation on his odd behavior.

- Well... it's just that... - He wasn't sure if he should tell Asuka. But, she was smart and could probably help him. And most of all, she was a friend... 'Even though this word hurts me now...'

- Johan told me something. He's been acting weird recently so today, I asked him if he thought we're friends. You know, me and him. And, he said he wanted us to be more than friends.

- Oh - 'Then Johan is... in love with Judai?'. Actually, it wasn't so hard to believe when she thought about it. Johan and Judai became close friends instantly, they were always together and helped each other. She also remembered how sad Judai was when Johan stayed back in the other world. They were really close but then why-

- And, I thought he was mocking me so I pushed him and ran. I told him I hate him... I ran all the way here. But, his face... it didn't look like he was mocking me. I just don't get it... - He had pulled his knees to his body and wrapped his arms around them. Asuka thought that sometimes, Judai really looked like a lost puppy. He looked so sad and confused... She tried to think of a happier Judai and involuntary, an image of Judai and Johan eating shrimp together showed up. Followed by another one, when they planned on borrowing some food from the party at Obelisk Blue dome, and the one of their first duel...

- Asuka?

- Eh? - she looked up to see Judai's pained face - Sorry, I got distracted a bit... Well, I don't know how I should say it... I don't think Johan-kun was mocking you.

- He... wasn't? - a light of hope shone in these large puppy eyes and Asuka wondered for a second if Judai's feelings for Johan were actually mutual. Even though he didn't seem to have noticed. But, that was Judai, she remembered. One of his traits was his unique ignorance of the world. And the fact he thought he had been made fun of by Johan because of the boy saying 'I want to be more than friends' proved it. In fact, she wondered if the result wouldn't have been the same if Johan-kun had said straight out 'I love you'. Anyway, at least she could explain about it all.

- Judai, there are different kinds of love - she started.

- Different kinds of love? - he repeated her words slowly, as if to translate them in his mind.

- That's right. Friends love each other - in a sense that they are close, help each other in need and share good and bad moments together.

- Okay, I get that - the expression of a lost puppy had now changed to a curious look.

- There's also love for the divine. People all around the world have different religions and believe in different Gods. This is a sacret, spiritual love. There's also love between relatives. For example, I love my parents and my brother, even if he is an idiot sometimes. And also the-

- I get it! - Judai stood up, shining eyes and a big grin on his face.

- You do? - Asuka was glad that she didn't need to explain the last kind of love - it seemed Judai wasn't such a dolt and had finally understood! And judging by his expression he shared the other boy's feelings. Asuka was really happy for them. At least now they'd stop sulking and scaring the other students. After all, she still found Johan-kun's cautiousness around each and every girl close to Judai a bit disturbing. Back to reality, she found the view of a jumping up and down Judai quite hilarious. Except...

- I get it now, I get it! So all that time, Johan was actually scared because he thought I wouldn't like us to be a family!

- ... What? - After the initial shock and after managing to close her mouth, that's all Asuka could say. Judai was either thinking way ahead in the future... or he had not understood her at all.

- So he actually wanted to say he wanted us to be like brothers, how cool!* - And now she was sure that he was, once again, clueless. Well, that's Judai for you...- That guy! And I thought he was mocking me or something. I guess I'm a bit dense about these stuff, relationships with people I mean, hehe...- he scratched his head nerviously - Ah! But if that's what he meant, and I just pushed him... Ahhh, dammit, I should apologize right away! Thanks about the help, Asuka! - And with that he sped up to his dorm room in hopes Johan would still be there. Leaving a very perplexed Asuka behind. 'That idiot, he's so clueless all the time', she signed. 'But... I guess I'll leave the rest of the explanation to Johan-kun'. And with a smile on her face she walked off to her dorm.

- Johan! - a panting Judai pushed open the door of his room. To his bewilderment Johan was still there. In fact, he was still sitting in the chair, still looking through the window, even though the sun had set some good hours ago and darkness enveloped the whole island. It was only thanks to the moon's light that anything was visible, if only slightly. Thanks to it Judai had managed to run full speed in the semi-darkness without breaking a leg. Even if he tripped three times.

- Judai? - his voice showed he was a bit surprised. 'Even though it's his room... he looked so mad, I almost didn't expect him returning. But I had to wait... to clear things up' - Judai, I-

- I'm sorry!

- Huh?

- I'm sorry... I was so rude. I should've stayed calm, but I just... missunderstood things. But, it's okay now! - Johan could sense Judai's face beam with delight. 'Is he really... happy? Does he really understand?' - I know now, you just wanted us to be brothers!

- What...

Something in Johan's voice could tell Judai he wasn't expecting that kind of an answer. Could it be that he messed up, again!?

Johan took the silent moment to stand up and light the lamp. That way he could look at Judai's face and hopefully see into that head of his.

- Judai... Do you know what love is? - If he's gonna confess, then at least he has to explain the basics first, that's what the emerald eyed boy thought.

- I know! There are different kinds of love. Asuka told me, there's love for friends, relatives, and also the one connected to religion, worshipping I guess.

- Anything else? - If Asuka-san had only explained that, Johan didn't know how to get out of this mess. Unless he showed Judai what he meant... but even though it was tempting, it might scar the other boy for life. And Judai might not feel the same and end up hating him for real. Was it worth the risk...?

- Well, now that I think about it she might have wanted to explain something else but... I was just so happy I had to see if that's what you meant! So I rushed to the dorm and you're still here, I'm really glad - He did seem glad. In fact Johan could almost swear Judai was the one emitting light, not the lamp.

- Like sun... - he trailed off.

- Hm? Like sun? - In Judai's mind, Johan was always like some kind of a sun, shining upon him, giving him warmth. Even now as they were standing in the poor light his figure seemed to be sending warmth to Judai. And for a fleeting moment, he had the urge to come closer and press his body to the other boy's. But these thoughts were quickly chased away with the next words.

- Ah, nevermind. Judai, there's actually many different kinds of love. Some say they're as many as the people in love. Since everyone is different and unique, their love is also different and unique. But, you've probably seen boys and girls walking together, hands in hands, sometimes hugging?

- Yeah. Girlfriend, boyfriend... but doesn't that just mean they're friends? Just a girl and a boy who are friends.

- There's a difference.

- I don't get it - Judai stubbornly shook his head. That was way too much information for one day!

'He can't understand it this way', Johan signed. But in reality, he was a bit happy. Or actually, he was very happy. Because that way he would be able to show Judai what he meant. For him, it was the better version (not to mention faster since Judai was slow on learning new things, unless they were related to card games).

- Judai, what I mean is…

 

****

 

The joy from my heart at our sudden meeting says

"Maybe it'll be over before I know it..." those forebodings scare me

And then I was gazing into your eyes

Without understanding anything

 

They're not forever changing, so how many phantoms,

Like memories and dreams, could you file away

And now I gazed into your eyes

Without changing anything

 

If I stretch out my hand, the smile I reach is fleeting

If I close my eyes, I want to hold

Your vanishing body once more in my arms

Because I can't forget that time, that place where we met...

 

Dancing in the breeze, your body

Was being enveloped in light

 

 

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*Since Johan accepts his monsters as his family and treats them as friends, Judai believes that the emerald eyed boy also has the same feelings towards him - in other words that he accepts Judai as a brotherly figure.