Crimson Regret

Chapter II: The Next Day

Yugi's POV

Well what a surprise. I'm still alive. I never thought I'd live this long. At least I still have something to go for in life. Though I'm always tempted to grab a knife and stab myself. Well Yami found all my razors and blades and tossed them into the Shadow Realm. Kinda sucks. But he never sent all of them to the shadows. I picked one up right under his nose. Jealous aren't ya? There was something very special about this blade.

My mother left it to me. I don't know exactly what happened but I'm happy. She's so fortunate. But anyways, that wasn't the only reason it was special. The other reason is it's because it's sharp. It may be thin and not all that looking but it was useful. I was surprised Yami found it. Well I hid it from him in the same spot he found it. I can't believe he would send my most precious personal belonging to the shadows. Oh well, it's in my possession now.

I twiddled with it. It was fun. There were a few times where I almost cut myself. But it never actually did. I never bothered with the fact that Yami was showing someone else around school. It was only school business. I never cared. That is I found out the 'girl' specifically chose him. Now that, I find suspicious. So I came to class early and just sat twiddling with my blade. Mother's dead, so it's mine now. Cruel, I know, but hey you can't blame me she's dead, unless it was actually my fault then you could blame me. I saw Ryou enter. I didn't bother to hide it from him because I know he won't stop me. Lord knows he wants to do it too. I saw longing in his eyes to snatch the blade and self-mutilate like there's no tomorrow. I guess the both of us haven't changed a bit. I didn't give it to him because he could lose control and Bakura would find out.

Then it was interesting as I walked along the streets of Domino. I didn't think much of it at first because I didn't see who it was. But when I heard someone say a white-haired person I immediately came to see for myself who was about to get hit in an unfortunate accident. I saw Ryou just standing there like a deer caught in headlights. I pulled his shocked ass out of the road and began scolding him. How dare he let himself almost get killed by someone else. If he wants to die he should do it himself.

I asked him to go with me to the cemetery. I say old chap it was an interesting visit. Seemed like the old eerie wind was like giving the full effect of something terrible is about to go on. Oh yeah something terrible did go wrong. A gang thought it would be funny to 'try' and scare us to 'death' out of their territory. Hey, they thought we were stupid. Since that plan didn't work they decided to beat us up for trespassing. Well isn't that fun?

Of course after they - I mean we - were finished we calmly walked out after checking to see if they were fortunate enough to die by our wimpy shots. They weren't. At least that was good; otherwise we would've been put on trial for murder. Hey it was a case of self-defense. We had no other choice. That would've been a good case.

Today had been a bummer. If I ever hear that girl's name again I'm going to chop someone's tongue off. You're wondering whom I'm talking about right? Well, I'll tell you. Her name's Aya. Let me tell you here voice is annoying. I wish I could rip out her vocal chords. But then Yami wouldn't approve. You know she reminds me of Anzu. Heh I'm lucky she finally was able to raise enough money to go to that dance school she always wanted to go to in America. It's not like he'll care if I slit my throat in front of him. He wouldn't be able to stop me in time. Even after being on 'probation' I still think of it, the feel of the cool blade across my skin, the adrenaline that comes with it. Yes such a refreshing feeling. Thinking about it makes me very eager to grab my knife and damage my healing skin. Scars were still visible. After all it's been only months.

Plus it was just another afternoon of loneliness. Two days in a row. How is that?

Lonely, I'm mister lonely…

Ah screw it. Maybe I could have fun grabbing some pictures of me, and throw some darts at them. Yeah that'll amuse me for now. Hey they said that a picture is like your soul or something. So then I'm also hurting myself when I stab my picture right? Nah I don't believe in that. One time I burned one of my pictures and I didn't even feel like I was burning. Oh well at least Yami would see how much I still hate myself and that he should find someone else to be with. Heh, like that'll ever happen. You know, I think it's already happening.

Well time for darts!

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It was B-O-R-I-N-G!

I've gone at about ten million rounds, not really, of darts! Yami still hasn't come home yet. Could he be somewhere without me? Nah, he would've told me. The last thing I remember is that he said he would show Aya around town. Now that is interesting. Maybe if I walked around town I could spot them and see what the hell they're up to. Yeah.

I threw my last dart and saw that it landed right where my heart was. Hmm…my emotions aren't there anymore. I think they aren't. Has Yami been using his shadow magic this whole time? He was just showing me fake emotions? Ah whatever. I'm going to go somewhere and walk around. If I die in some unfortunate accident I'm going to haunt whoever the hell killed me and make him apologize, but I can't let them apologize too early, I wanna have some fun first.

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