Crimson Regret

Part VII: My Forgotten Memories Pt. 1

Yugi's POV

You know, I've been getting flashbacks of my life, I think. All of these images pop into my head. The more I thought of it the more it made me want to forget and sometimes know. I'm forcing my mind to remember. Yet I couldn't. I think someone's forcing my memories to stay hidden. I felt this dark air flow around me in my head and there was something fighting back. I didn't know what it was. It was like I was fighting for my personality. For some reason I didn't like my personality right now. I felt like it was being shaped for me. And the only person I could think of was Yami. But he isn't here for me to yell at or pester questions about. Maybe that's why he's staying away and is always out with Aya. Somehow I don't like her. Weren't couples supposed to stay together? I think Yami's lying to me. I can tell. Looks like Ryou was right. Yami was the one shaping my life.

I pretty much still don't have any clue on my life. When I saw my scarred arm I never asked Yami because I was sure he would say something bad about it. I opted to ask Ryou that is when he wakes up. I don't know what happened except that he came over and just collapsed on me. So I took him to my room and laid him down on the bed. I wondered how he passed out like that. He was just crazy to go out in the rain like that. Where's Bakura?

I better call him. He must want to know-

Ding, dong.

Hmm…the doorbell. Is that Yami? He has a key didn't he? Oh well. I might as well open it up. I went downstairs and opened the door. What a surprise that I see Bakura outside. I made him come in because he was soaking wet. I handed him a towel and some new clothes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Though I probably know why.

"Is Ryou here?" he asked.

"Yeah, he's upstairs sleeping. He came in the way you did except he collapsed."

"Oh, what room is he in?"

"The first room on the left."

He walked upstairs. So I guess he was worried. From what I heard from Ryou he didn't. I followed him and peeked through the door. I gotta see if Bakura really does care about Ryou. Ryou said he didn't. I saw Bakura sitting in the chair beside the bed looking over Ryou. He reached out to touch but before he could Ryou shifted in his sleep facing sideways away from Bakura. It's as if he knew Bakura was going to do that. Maybe Ryou's the one who doesn't care. When Ryou wakes up I better talk to him. Bakura got up and walked towards the door. I walked away back downstairs. Bakura came down and asked me to tell him when Ryou's awake so he could come get him. I nodded and he left. The rain stopped so I guess he decided to go without a borrowed jacket.

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When I came back from eating dinner 'alone' I saw Ryou standing up and putting on some clothes. He must've woken up a few minutes earlier. I walked over to him and waited until he noticed me standing there. When he finally did he turned around and gave me a small, sad smile. I couldn't help but look at him sadly. I felt like I was missing something, that that sad smile was supposed to be something I was used to giving. I felt like I've seen that before. I saw a flash of an image in my head.

Flashback-------------------------------------

Both him and Ryou were sitting up on the rooftop of the Kame Game Shop. They both were holding another one of their razors. Ryou entwined Yugi's hand with his and lied his head down on his lap. Yugi looked at him questioningly. Ryou just smiled a small, sad smile.

"Yugi, promise me, if you're going to kill yourself please, don't do it alone. I want to do it with you," Ryou said staring at the moonless sky.

"I promise."

End Flashback------------------------------

(A/N: I was going to mention this part in Dark Crimson Rivers but I decided not to. But here is a missing excerpt from Dark Crimson Rivers. Just thought I'd let you know.)

I snapped back to reality to see Ryou walking out of the room with his duffle bag. I rushed up to him and got hold of his arm before he could completely walk out. He stopped and turned to me with the same sad look in his eyes. I now felt like crying myself.

"Why?" I asked. He should know exactly what I'm talking about because I saw the cuts on his arm. They were just like mine.

"Because I just can't take it anymore, Yugi. I'm tired of living," he responded. I let go of his arm but he didn't walk away.

"But…I don't want you to leave." I heard him gasp. I looked towards the ground to not see his reaction. I didn't want him to leave; he was a friend, a good friend. I saw him kneel down in front of me and took my hands in his.

"It's okay Yugi. You'll be fine. You have Yami. Besides, maybe this memory loss of yours was meant to be. You're meant to live a much better life then I ever could. You're given a second chance, which I was never granted. I'm sorry, I'm sure that you can find someone else who's a better friend who won't leave you. You'll understand maybe if you get your memories back. Goodbye Yugi."

He stood up and walked out the door. I just stood there still processing what he just said. I didn't bother to go after him to tell him to stop and that he's not thinking because Bakura does care. But wait, wouldn't he stay if he cared? So I guess Ryou did see the truth, which I'm starting to see. If I were a friend, then I would just let him go. It's no use being selfish. Maybe Ryou never has been selfish in his life and he just wants one selfish thing for once. I will miss him though because I know he's the only one whoever told the truth.

I better turn off the lights. Yami might not be home and would be at someone else's house going to a party. He told me he was invited and he couldn't get an invitation for me. Though he was probably lying anyways. I sighed and turned everything off. I walked back upstairs the best I could in the dark. I didn't care if I slipped and fell, which I'm doing right now because I tripped and I was near the top and now I'm rolling down the stairs until I hit the bottom. That hurt. I touched the back of my head and something was wet. I licked my finger and tasted something coppery. I'm sure it was blood. God everything is spinning. I think I'm going to fall unconscious.

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Yami's POV

I looked ahead up on the street. I just led Aya back to her house. Somehow she always forgets where everything is. I think she's doing it on purpose.

I wasn't thinking about that. Actually I was thinking about what happened when Yugi lost his memories. Somehow he isn't getting them back. I kept feeding him information on his life purposely leaving out certain parts. I didn't want him to go back to that. I was afraid that he'd actually leave me this time. I care about him and I wish he would stay with me forever.

When I walked back to the shop, I saw all the lights closed. Did Yugi go out somewhere? No. I walked in and everything was dark though I could make out some things. I went in front of the stairs. I tripped as I made my way up. I looked at what was laying carelessly on the floor. It was a body. I turned on the lights to see Yugi. Oh no. I picked him up and rushed up the stairs to his room and placed him on the bed. Then I walked over to the phone and called the ambulance.

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I waited an hour before the doctor came up to me telling me of Yugi's condition. They didn't know if it would affect his memories again. The only way they would tell is if he woke up again.

"Can I go see him?" I asked.

"Sure. Just don't try to wake him up," the doctor said before walking off.

I walked into the room to see Yugi just with an IV stuck in his arm. Twice in less than a month he ends up back in the hospital. Somehow I think he's doing it on purpose. Did he have his memories back and was just deciding not to tell me? If he did then he probably would've shown some signs. Maybe another hit to the head would make him remember? No, I don't want him to. He'll just try to call me a liar and a cheater.

On the way back home before I found him I talked to Bakura. He didn't seem too happy, in fact, quite the opposite. I asked him what was wrong. The only thing he muttered was 'Ryou'. I thought they were doing okay. Maybe he was having the same problem I am. No he isn't. He would've told me Ryou lost his memories too.

I shrugged it off and looked at Yugi and took his hand in mine. I wish he would wake up and not much of these accidents would happen to him. I'm worried and I just…don't know. I kept thinking everything is my fault. As I think about it I noticed that I haven't been spending so much time with Yugi at all. Well this time I'm going to. Instead of Aya. I need to find a replacement for myself to show her around. Maybe one of the other kids could show her around. I'll request that of the headmaster. And if he doesn't comply then I'm going to dropout. I was a pharaoh. There is no need for me to go to school again. I know at least some things about this time period so I don't need to go anymore.

Yeah I should just do that…

I stood up as I felt Yugi stir. He slowly opened his eyes and sat up hastily. I placed my hands on his shoulders to push him down back on the bed. But he didn't relent.

"Yugi you should rest," I said concerned.

"No! Where's Ryou?!"

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Kinshin: There's chapter seven! Thanks people for your lovely reviews! And appreciative visits! Keep it up! It keeps me going on this story!

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