Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Delicate ❯ Tea and Sympathy ( Chapter 5 )

Disclaimer: Lyn and Andrew and their beautiful family are mine, must have expressed written consent to use, fanfic or whatever. Dee and Ryo etc. are not mine. Don't sue. I'm poor ^_^;

Delicate

Chapter Five:

Tea and Sympathy

By: Irish

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ryo stretched out on his bed, lying on his stomach, his journal in front of him. He and Dee had only worked a half shift today. They hadn't been scheduled at all but that was the joy of police work, you were always on call.

They had scheduled another dinner date with Lyn and Andrew, and Ryo knew he would have to get up in about twenty minutes to start dinner, but for the moment he was focused on the pages in front of him. Smashing Pumpkins played on his stereo. The Pumpkins were a band that he and Dee both enjoyed; in fact Ryo had been a pretty big fan of the group in his college years.

Ryo hummed along softly as he twirled a pen between his fingers. Dee had gone home to get cleaned up for their dinner tonight and take a nap, He was still not caught up on all the sleep he had missed from the week before and was trying to eradicate the exhaustion that was plaguing him. Ryo was glad for the time to gather his thoughts and sort himself out. He felt like his world had been dancing on the edge of a blade for the last week.

He nibbled on the end of the pen before placing it to the unlined paper. Lifting it again, he nibbled. Where to start?

The last ten days or so, my world has been reeling. It's like every time I open my eyes my world is an abstract of spinning and lights. Everything flies by and by the time I realize what's happened it's too late. I have danced on and the world is spinning again. This isn't an unusual feeling, entirely, but until now… I always thought it was Dee who set me spinning and reeling, that it was he who was my dance partner, who turned and circled with me. Maybe it used to be… but now it is most often his face that I see as I whirl by unable to stop, his pain I am causing without realizing it. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm dancing alone. Dee may have started the music, but I'm doing this one alone.

So my world is whirling and every time I see Dee's face… I realize that some misstep of mine has caused him pain… but I don't know what to do about it. Every time we talk… about me… about us… I just… I blurt things out before I can stop myself. I push and push, like I don't love him, like I don't want him with me, like I am trying to get him to leave… maybe I am. It would be easier to love him from a distance… like before.

I want him… I don't want him. My heart wants him, my logic doesn't… but I've never had very strong logic, at least not about myself. "To thine own self be true." I know that quote is actually bastardization, when in context the text is talking about self-centeredness… maybe that's my problem. I never stop to look at me. I take care of others, fight the good fight, so I can't pause, can't breath. I dance so I can't see.

I remember as a boy…not really a boy… somewhere in between, not much older then Bikky… maybe fifteen… I would wake up in the night, chest heaving… having no idea what was wrong but just needing to run… and run… and if I didn't… I've never said this before, never really admitted it, because it's not in my picture of perfection… I felt that if I didn't get out of bed and start running… I would kill myself… not out of conscious thought, or depression, not because I wanted to… but because there was something inside me that I needed to get rid of… something inside me that I couldn't stop and couldn't control. If I had ever actually hurt myself… I would have been shocked… I probably wouldn't have even remembered doing it…. I wasn't suicidal… just crazy.

I would climb out my bedroom window… wearing my track shorts and a tee shirt, no matter how cold it was, I never wore shoes… I would climb down a tree. I can remember the wet grass under my feet, as I would just run and run… there were nights I remember the sun would be coming up as I hauled myself back into my window. I would run until I collapsed… or threw up, and then stumble back to my tree… some days I would sleep at the foot of it for an hour… trying to find the strength to climb back up.

Now I know I was running from something. That's why I ran, to get away. And I'm starting to understand what that may have been… because last night…. I woke up and ran.

The phone rang so loudly that Ryo thought his eardrums would burst. His heart stopped in his chest for a moment and the pen flew from his hand as he jerked. It took him a moment to realize that it was the phone. Finally, on the fifth ring, he picked it up with shaking hands.

"Hello…. MacLean residence?" It was a suggestion; he had no idea where he was any more.

"Ryo? Are you okay? Its Andrew Darling." Andrew's deep baritone drifted over the line in an odd combination of concern and bemusement.

"What? Oh god, yes…" Ro laughed shakily. "I'm sorry. I was off in my own little world. The phone scared the hell out of me."

Andrew chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. I hope it wasn't too bad."

"No… no, I'm a cop, I shouldn't startle that easily. What's up?"

"Listen… I have some not so hot news… I don't think we can come over for dinner tonight… Lyn is having a really rough time of it today… I think it's better if we just stay home… but you, Dee and Bikky are welcome to come over. Nothing fancy, just pizza or something."

Ryo's brow furrowed a little, as he shifted on the bed. Andrew spoke as though he should know exactly what was meant when he said 'Lyn was having a rough time of it' and Ryo had no freaking clue. "No problem. You don't have to have us over. What's wrong?"

"Oh, no. Lyn would feel terrible to totally cancel on you guys. He was really looking forward to this evening"

"No problem… if you're sure you want us to come over, that'll be just fine. Hell, I won't complain, it gets me out of cooking another meal but now I owe you two." Ryo laughed a little. "Do you want us to bring anything? Salad or something to go with the pizza?"

"Sure, if you want. I won't say no to more food. Why don't you all come on over around six or so?"

"Sounds great. Give Lyn my best. I hope its nothing too serious." Ryo offered genuinely.

"I will. Thanks, Ryo, He will appreciate it. It won't be a big deal as long as I get him back on track tonight. See you at six."

"Yup, see you." Ryo hung up the phone when he heard the line click. Taking a deep breath to regain his sense of balance he picked the phone back up and dialed Dee's number from heart. The conversation was short. Dee was barely awake, and Ryo wasn't positive he would remember the change of plans when he woke, but if he didn't it was no big deal. The time hadn't really changed.

Dee taken care of, Ryo returned to his journal, glancing at the clock. Four pm… Bikky would be home in about a half hour… Ryo planed to use it.

Dark eyes scanned his neat script reviewing what he said, trying to slip back into the mindset as he found his pen on the floor by the headboard.

It was the first time since high school that I had run like that. I never admitted to myself then why I ran… but now… I think I understand… I woke those nights, not just in a cold sweat, my heart thundering in my chest… but I awoke hard enough to cut glass. I awoke those nights, with the vision of men's bodies, their hands on my body, still blinding my eyes. I remember dreaming of my soccer captain Alan McAllister.

I spent two years running from Dee. I spent two years running as hard as I could away from that man… to him. I always told him to stop… but I always wanted to say 'don't stop'. It felt right, good, whole… but it made my heart thunder in my chest, and brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes it felt like wanting to be raped. It wasn't bad enough that it was happening, I also had the shame of wanting it. Still have that shame. But god do I want it.

I feel like… if I could just decide that I was bi, like Dee, just make that choice, I could be done with it… but I can't. I'm not bi. I know that word is the wrong one… like I know irregardless isn't a word… the word is regardless… irregardless is a double negative. That doesn't mean I don't use irregardless sometimes… I just know it's not the right word. So, if I'm not bisexual… what does that leave me? As far as I know… gay or straight. I like straight a lot better than I like gay… I refuse to accept gay. I refuse to be Dee's woman. (Because I have no misconception that he would be mine.) So, that only leaves me with straight… and I don't think I fit in that box any longer… when I'm in love with a man…. So what the hell is wrong with me?

I want children… I have Bikky, but I want more. I have always wanted children. Maybe it's effeminate to want kids but I always have. Its not like I played with dolls when I was a kid, but I never really minded when my older girl cousins made me play house with them and I had to be the dad. This idea of having this little human life that you get to watch grow… I don't know. It's just what I have always striven for.

I was engaged once. Dee doesn't know this, but I was. My first year on the force. Her name was Amanda; strawberry blond hair that she wore in a pixie cut, very petite, small breasts, some hip, but not really… very boyish. (Gee what does that tell you?) She and I could have gone to high school together, our stories were so similar; the same childhood in the way upper middle class. She had been a cheerleader and the captain of the debate team (I had been captain of the soccer team after Alan and second string debate club). We may have been reading from the same book of morality, and quoting it verbatim. We wanted to raise our children as good Methodists (I sort of neglected to tell her about my Japanese heritage.) Sex before marriage, while a sin, was okay as long as we were engaged and she didn't get pregnant. Church services once a month and on the major holidays… I wanted two kids, she wanted three. That was the only difference.

Despite talking about sex an awful lot… we never had any… well… no, we did three times, but I am getting ahead of myself.

I hated fooling around with her. The kissing was fine, even the petting over the clothes… I think maybe I could still pretend then. It wasn't that she didn't arouse me. She did… but… it wasn't her I wanted. I hated giving her oral, or touching her below the waist…anything that reminded me of what she did and didn't have down there.

We did have sex three times. I was desperate to find something I enjoyed with her. I thought sex was the answer. The guys always talked about how good it was. I thought that maybe no guy really liked to touch girls down there… or maybe other girls shaved there or something. (Of course some did, but certainly not all of them, not even most.) So we had sex. And I hated it. So we did it again because I thought she wasn't doing it right. I still hated it. We tried one more time later that week… I remember begging out of bed right afterwards… early day the next morning…whatever… when I got home I stood in the shower for over an hour. I broke it off the next day. I told her to keep the ring, but I needed to focus on my career right now.

Ryo shook his head and blinked, flexing his cramped hand. The words were just pouring out of him. It wasn't enough. He needed to write more. He needed to run.

He heard the front door open and Bikky's bag hit the floor, as he scrambled from the bed. Stripping off his jeans he pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a tee shirt. He was lacing up his running shoes as Bikky waltzed into his room.

"Hey, Ryo. Where you going? I thought Mr. Doren was coming over for dinner with his family."

"Change of plans, sport. We're going there for pizza. Lyn's not feeling too hot. I'm going for a run. I'll be back in a bit. We 're leaving at five thirty so get washed up." Ryo said quickly as he passed the boy. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his rib cage. He couldn't stand this. "Be good. I'll be back soon."

Without letting the boy protest, Ryo jogged out the door.

He ran down the stairs and out the back door of the apartment building. He took the alleyways for the moment. He knew his desperate sprint would draw attention even in New York where you didn't scream rape you screamed fire.

He pelted desperately through the tangle of allies that he had learned from years of chasing Bikky, leaping over anything that got in his way. He had done hurdles in high school and the training never left his system. He was running way too hard to last. He knew it but it didn't stop him. He didn't have long to run. If he were to outrun his demons tonight, it would have to be with speed, not endurance. Three blocks down he saw the walk light where he needed to cross; he let it out a notch, his breath already heavy. His long legs ate up the three blocks, but the walk sign was flashing 'don't walk' as he ran headless into the street.

He didn't even see the car bumper that almost cut his legs out from under him; he simply vaulted over it, landing two feet on the hood before jumping off and continuing on the sidewalk. He wouldn't remember it later.

He ran through the park for almost an hour. He finally stumbled up to his apartment on legs that wobbled and barely supported him. They were going to be late and he knew Dee was already there. He opened the door and stumbled in. He hung onto the back of a chair a moment to get his balance before heading for the sink and turning on the cold water. Dee and Bikky had come to the doorway of the kitchen and watched in silent astonishment as Ryo stuck his face under the faucet and slurped straight from the tap. He guzzled down the pouring water as his shirt stuck to him as though a bucket of water had been poured over his head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Toss me a slice, please?" Dee asked as Lyn reached over for another one himself.

"Sure, boyo. What would you like? Cheese, Veggie, or Sausage and Mushroom." Lyn asked, tossing a veggie slice onto his own paper plate.

"S and M please." Dee smirked. Andrew almost spit the organic soda he was sipping across the coffee table.

"Well, that's all well and good, stud muffin, but what kind of pizza do you want?" Lyn replied barely batting an eyelash, shoveling the requested slice onto Dee's plate. "Pardon my fingers."

"Huh?" Ryo asked look around the coffee table that they sat around. "I don't get it." He looked to Andrew who was still only just managing not to hork his soda.

"Only if you say 'please, sir'" Dee winked.

Andrew lost it, barely grabbing a napkin as peach organic soda filled his sinus cavity.

"Oh, cool! Drew horked his soda!" Bikky called gleefully as the blonde man sputtered and leaked.

"I think you have all lost your minds." Ryo's voice was excessively prim, as he tried to join in the apparent abundance of humor. "And in my day, we called is snarking not horking."

"Did they even have soda in your day, dad?" Bikky snickered poking his foster father in the side.

"No, nor did they have automobiles or areo planes… or mouthy little boys!" Ryo pounced his son, tickling him wildly, as Andrew tried to regain some dignity. Dee held his sides watching his lover and son through laugh-squinted eyes. His paper plate barely made it to the table as he fell over laughing.

Lyn grinned tiredly as he leaned back against the couch, watching his husband and company. He was very glad the Laytner-MacLean clan had come over despite his own poor health; their laughter was soothing him.

He was jolted from his thoughts when something fairly heavy landed in his lap; looking down with a grin he found Ryo's blonde head in his lap, laughing too hard to move.

"Well hey there, good looking." Lyn teased brushing Ryo's hair from his face as Ryo clutched his sides in agony. Bikky straddled his Dad's hips triumphantly, grinning like the devil himself. "Looks like you won there, bikster." Lyn chuckled as Ryo tried to lever himself out of Lyn's lap, embarrassed, but laughing too hard to move.

Dee tried to say something, but couldn't draw enough breath to make the words and managed only to slap weakly at the hardwood floor.

"I think this meal has disintegrated significantly." Andrew chuckled, shaking his head.

"I believe you're right, my dear. Does it bother you that I have a strange man's head in my lap?" Lyn snickered, leaning into his husband as Ryo struggled desperately to compose himself.

"No, sweet, I'm not too worried." Andrew chuckled, giving Bikky a hand as he dismounted and flopped on the rug between his certifiable family members, looking from one to the next, not helping either man regain themselves.

"Lyn… if my dads get put in a mental ward… can I come live with you?" Bikky asked with a sigh, feigning worry.

"I am afraid, Bikky, that if your dads are certifiable, I am as well." Lyn replied apologetically, ruffling Bikky's hair before the blond boy was suddenly attacked from behind by Dee, and a whole new round of tickle fighting began.

It took another twenty minutes for the cadre of men to get themselves under control. Ryo's sides ached from laughing, some of his tension had been relieved. His run earlier had buried some of his anxiety, but Dee and Bikky's concerned and confused looks had continued most the evening until the tickle fight. Now his partner and son looked more relaxed as well, the incident had hopefully been cleared from their minds.

Now, however, as the chaos had died down, Lyn was looking at him very speculatively, his head cocked in a mirror image of the way Keiry cocked hers. Ryo offered a nervous smile feeling himself start to flush before he looked away. Those blue eyes of Lyn's were so damn piercing and not unlike Bikky's. The difference was that there was years of wisdom and understanding of human nature that Bikky yet lacked. And Ryo sensed that Lyn saw right through all of his thin facades cutting straight to his core.

"Ryo dear, help me in the kitchen?" Lyn asked, giving his husband a quick kiss before getting to his feet. He looked pale this evening and lacked the grace that Ryo remembered despite being in fairly good spirits; Ryo could see the man was not feeling well.

"Certainly, in fact, really, I can clean up. You should relax, I mean we were supposed to have you over to our place anyway." Ryo said as he quickly gathered up paper plates hoping to get the bulk of them before Lyn could. Andrew looked like he was about to agree with Ryo's assessment, but Bikky pounced on him distracting his objection.

Dee winced, waiting for a howl of pain from Andrew as the preteen landed on his fragile legs. Bikky was a fairly touchy-feely kid, especially for a street punk. The kid never had any qualms about leaping into Ryo's lap straddling his legs. Even with Dee, he exhibited very little need of personal space. When Andrew didn't cry out in pain, Dee dared to crack an eye. He saw Andrew, looking relieved, but in no pain, with Bikky indeed straddling his legs but not even touching him.

"Andrew? What kind of dog is Duke?"

Ryo missed the mini drama of Andrew's near miss as he followed Lyn into the kitchen with an armload of garbage. "Lyn, I am totally serious. Let me clean up. You can sit on the stool and supervise. I know it doesn't jive with your idea of hospitality, but consider this an extenuating circumstance."

Lyn dumped his armload in the garbage before leaning back on the counter and looking Ryo over again with that same speculative look,

"Alright, but only because I think you are more likely to talk that way."

"Talk about what?" Ryo's heart was thundering. There was no way this man could possibly know anything but he seemed to.

"Whatever gives you that wide-eyed, confused, deer in the headlights look." Lyn replied, even and unyielding as he sat down on the kitchen stool, resting his feet on the rungs.

"Hey listen, I'm sorry I ended up with my head in your lap earlier, I hope neither you or Andrew took offense." Ryo tried to bait and switch.

"Not at all. Andrew and I are both very affectionate people. I'm surprised you would apologize at all."

"Oh, well I just didn't want you to think… I mean, you know, the only guy for me is Dee…. I don't even like men. I'm not…yaknow…" Ryo gathered up a few bits of trash and pitched them away before running water in the sink for the few remaining dishes.

"Gay? You aren't gay is what you're trying to say, and because I'm gay, obviously any physical contact between myself and another man is flirting." Lyn's voice wasn't gentle, as Ryo had expected it to be. He had expected soft words and a tender tone as Lyn had shown with Bikky, but Lyn wasn't sparring here. This was the real deal. There was still an undertone of guidance, not judgment, but Ryo felt himself responding like a chastised puppy.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, Lyn!" Ryo replied nervously, his hands moving more quickly to gather the few dishes around him.

"I know you didn't mean to imply any of that, Ryo, but it's exactly what you did." Lyn's gaze was still speculative.

"What? No! Seriously, Lyn, I didn't mean to offend you at all!" Ryo turned to look at him blushing deeply.

"I know. But you did. And every time you say something like that to Dee, you imply that being gay, or in his case 'bi' is some how sub par or inadequate." Ryo was interested to see that Lyn used his fingers to put quotes around the word 'bi', but was way too concerned about what the man was saying to ask him about it. "I mean, really, you might as well just call him a fag to his face."

"Lyn… what…what are you talking about? I love Dee; I wouldn't do that to him. And I'm not gay, damn it! Why do you people all keep trying to tell me what I am? I just love Dee, not other men, just Dee. I'm not gay!" Ryo stepped towards Lyn, fists balled at his sides, shoulders tense. He wasn't angry enough to have Lyn worried yet, but he knew feeling humiliated could get a man to lash out faster then anything. Lyn forced his own body language to relax and open up, willing his voice to gentle.

"I know you're not gay Ryo… I don't care if you call yourself a purple elephant, or a Jew for Jesus. But I do care, very much, that you are not at peace with your words. Every time you say something to the effect of 'I'm not like that' or 'I'm not gay' you might as well just punch Dee in the face. I can see that he loves you deeply but doesn't feel secure in your love for him." Lyn sighed in relief as he saw his gentler stance work. Ryo relaxed trembling a little.

"You can't know that. You barely know us. Lyn, I'm sorry, but this is really none of your affair." Ryo said shakily leaning back against the sink trying to get control of his turbulent emotions.

"You're right. It's not… but I do feel close to you Ryo. I see you are a good person. You love your son and you do love Dee. I don't want to see any of you hurt. I also see that both you and Dee lack people in your lives." Lyn reached out laying his hands on Ryo's shoulders, willing the man to calm. "Its okay, Ryo. I want you to know I'm here for you and would gladly count you a friend if you choose it. The foundation of friendship, maybe even more so then a relationship, is honesty. In a relationship, sometimes it's best to hold your tongue for the sake of peace… but a true friend will always tell you precisely what he thinks. Do you understand?"

"What are you like super husband or something? Tell me where you get off? Tell me what right you have to give me advice? Tell me what gives you this higher wisdom and I will consider what you have to say truth." There was a steel in Ryo's voice that Lyn hadn't expected and suddenly understood what made this man a good cop. He could waffle, be embarrassed and shuffle about, but when it counted…when the chips were really down…he had a titanium-strength streak in him a mile wide.

"That's more than fair. Do you have time to palaver now? We can take some tea to the study." Lyn offered with a nod.

"Yes… yes we can…what did you call it…palaver. I will tell Dee that if it gets too late they should go home and I'll be in later." Ryo also nodded, feeling a bit shaky as he moved out into the living room, dishes done, to inform his family as Lyn made tea.

It took them twenty minutes to reconvene in the study, which was upstairs at the end of the hallway. Ryo followed the slender man into the impressively large room. The walls were lined with bookcases and windows, the furniture looked very formal, yet, comfortable. It very much looked like a room that belonged to the two men Ryo had met. Comfort, function, and aesthetics all in equality. Lyn beckoned Ryo to a pair of chairs near the fireplace as he set the tea on the table in between them.

"Would it bother you if I started a small fire in the fire place? I'm cold, but I know everyone else would be uncomfortable if I raise the heat any." Lyn asked as he moved over to a large, very old desk against one wall, opening the bottom drawer and pawing around.

"No, not at all. Actually, it would be very pleasant. My childhood home had a fire place that I liked to sit in front of." Ryo smiled a little starting to feel a little more relaxed. Lyn was a gentle man; he really had nothing to fear here. Lyn wouldn't push him too far.

"Wonderful." Lyn stood again, carefully. He looked a bit faint as he pulled out a thick manila folder from the drawer. "Please pardon me. Did Andrew tell you why we invited you here again? Why we had to so rudely turn down your invitation last minute?"

"Only that you weren't feeling well. Are you sure you are up for this Lyn… you look a little pale." Ryo watched as Lyn knelt in front of the hearth organizing a few pieces of wood into a small fire before drawing out a fireplace match to light his creation.

"Yes… well, I have a medical condition called hypoglycemia. It means that my body burns more calories then I can consume. If I'm not cautious about my eating habits my blood sugar drops dangerously low. I was not very careful these last few days. My blood sugar is hovering down low enough that I need to expend as little energy as possible and consume enough fuel to convince my body not to feed on itself, and do it without spiking up my blood sugar too high, which can lead to diabetes. Well hell, that took me forever to explain." Lyn chuckled sitting back on his heels to watch as the flames began to lick at the larger pieces of wood. "Anyway, I took out this old case file for you to look at. Don't worry. It's not confidential. Ignore the documentation that says so." Lyn smiled a little handing Ryo the manila folder, like so many dozens of others he had been handed in his time.

"Okay, what is it?" Ryo asked folding it open to look down at the first page of a police report.

"Actually, it's one of Dee's cases. I don't think he was by any means a rookie when it happened, but it's just coincidence that it is one of Dee's." Satisfied that the fire was adequately burning, Lyn flopped back in his chair and picked up his tea taking a sip.

Raising his eyebrows Ryo turned his eyes to the photocopy of a police report dated some time in 1998. The handwriting he recognized immediately as Dee's. Intrigued he started to read along quickly despite Dee's poor handwriting and frequent spelling and grammar mistakes. This report, Ryo could see had been written with a lot of care. Dee had really wanted this one to be clear and easy to read. Ryo was also used to his partners chicken scratch.

Second officer and myself responded to a call of a domestic disturbance in an apartment building on 78th street. Upon arriving at the apartment, we found the door to be locked, all silent. We spoke to the tenants of the apartment directly under the one called in and they showed us where a substance that to all appearances was blood dripping from their ceiling. They also reported a history of shouting matches and noise from the tenants above them. My partner and I then went back up the apartment, knocking again and announcing ourselves. Hearing no response, I decided that we could not wait for back up. If some one was hurt that badly they needed medical attention immediately. I went to the end of the hallway and got out on the fire escape. Despite the rain I felt that it was safe to hop over to the adjoining fire escape that allowed entrance into the apartment. Both my partner and I made the jump. Knocking on the window we announced our presence before breaking in the glass and climbing in. We immediately secured the apartment. We found a Caucasian male that stood around six feet and had dark hair holding an ordinary kitchen knife. We saw a trail of blood going from the living room back into the bathroom, which was locked. We secured the man before moving down to the bathroom. We knocked and announced, before I kicked the door in. The bathroom was in total disarray; there was blood all over the tile and sink, as well as a bloody handprint that slid across the wall. At first I saw no one in the room, as the shower curtain had also been pulled down over the bathtub. Upon closer inspection, I saw what appeared to be the hand of a corpse dangling over the edge of the tub. I pulled the shower curtain off what I assumed to be the body and dropped it to the floor. It was then that the mans eyes opened and I saw he was still alive, lying in a pool of what I presumed to be his own blood. I pulled on my latex gloves and lifted him from the tub, laying him face down on the shower curtain. It was then I saw where the blood was coming from and saw the slash that looked to be caused by a knife that started at the nape of his neck and went all the way down to his waist. I could see the knobs of his spine and informed my partner to call the police. I grabbed towels and tried to stop the bleeding while we waited for the ambulance…

Ryo read over the report, nodding now and again. The rest of the report detailed the arrival of the ambulance, the arrest of the perp, and his questioning. The next page down was the questioning of the victim who had apparently survived, but Dee had not done that questioning. There were a few more pages of arrest reports, written confession and written out dialogue of the questioning. At the very back of the file were copies of crime scene photos. Ryo could immediately see why Dee thought the victim was dead. Even in the hospital photos taken to show the damage done to the man, he looked dead, like this was an autopsy not evidence shoot. There were staples that ran the length of the man's spine, then swerved over his hip, all the way around to the inside of a skeletal thigh. There were pictures of bruises on his chest arms and face. Some were deep enough to be nearly black. His face was swollen and misshapen. It was about the worst damage Ryo had ever seen anyone survive, but certainly not the worst Ryo had seen. He closed the folder and handed it back to Lyn.

"Well, it looks like your basic domestic. I mean, it's the most severe I have seen someone live through, but it's not like it was unique. Did you represent the victim?" Ryo asked unsure why he had been shown any of this.

Lyn smiled, a very odd and gentle smile. "I was the victim."

Ryo's jaw dropped visibly, his eyes widening. He had been in homicide for over two years now. He wasn't used to speaking to the victims of crimes any more. His victims were dead.

"It's alright. Before you say anything, please, don't apologize. It was five or six years ago. Before I met Andrew. Before I was even a lawyer. It was…another lifetime. And no, Dee doesn't know it was me. I mean, you just looked at the pictures and didn't even see them as me. But I remember him. He saved my life… You asked why I have the authority to make commentary on your life. I can only tell you that I know pain and confusion. I know difficulty and hardship… what it is to strive with your soul… not in the same way you do… but I do know these things. I have no authority to tell you anything. I come to you, only as a friend."

Ryo sat in silence a long moment. He watched the odd, beautiful man across from him watching the fire dance as he gathered his thoughts. "Tell me what happened. I can tell from the way Dee wrote this report that it mean a lot to him to get this done the right way. If this was just a domestic… why?"

It was Lyn's turn to pause for a long bit, collecting his own thoughts with a sip of his tea. "I have no idea why he felt as he did about the case… I can tell you why I will never forget him, and that might help you understand him… but for his motives… you will have to ask him."

"Tell me."

Authors Note: Thank you again to DJBrown and Jexia, my wonderful beta's, and Wildefyre for helping with a scene down the road that made my path clearer. Thanks to all of you who are wonderful enough to leave me detailed reviews, both positive and not so much so. The next chapter will be out in fairly short order, I'm sorry if this chapter ended abruptly.