Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Shinigami's Stage; Behind the Jester's Mask ❯ Chapter twelve ( Chapter 12 )
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.09.2007 | Updated On: 03.09.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.1K | Visits: 454 | Status: Completed
Date posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Date reposted: Saturday, June 25, 2005
Chapter warnings: Duo angst. Extreme funniness and language. And a lot of cuss words a head. I'm just that way. (-- shrugs --)
Pairings: 1x2/2x1 : 3x4 : 5x: (Solo)x(Johnathan)x(Nataku) : Implied 2+(Harry), 2+ (Solo)x(Johnathan)x(Nataku) Does that make you fell better?
By: Mira Watanabe
Two days since Heero left
July 3rd, 167
Age: 21
/FLASH BACK/
‘Silly boy, silly boy, silly ignorant little boy. You dream such big dreams. Such wonderful dreams. Reality Check! …You will always be left alone. It is meant to be. Look at what happened to all the others you let close. Gone. They are all GONE! Don’t you get it! Ha ha ha, Stupid Dreamer.’
“Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” Duo yelled, his head ducked between his knees with his hands shielding him inside is ball; protecting himself from himself. The ex-pilot of Death scythe hid in the darkest corner of the once shared apartment. Pillows of red, green, and blue laid all around like dead bodies – an act done in a moment of rage. A black journal that laid next to him, opened, was the only survival in this destruction.
The heater was gone; the electricity was no more; the water was turned off; the food was spoiled and eviction notes littered every surface area yelling with its red, bolded words, You’ll be kicked out in twenty-four hours. Leave now!
‘Stupid Dreamer,’ laughed the softly, whispering Voice.
“SHUT UP!” Duo yelled, more demanding than the last time.
The Voice laughed even more; loving Duo’s distress – No. It basked in it; bathed in his sorrow.
‘Little Dreamer dreams impossible dreams. Hoping for things never to come. Stupid Dreamer dreams of dreams, fantasy is all it will be. Time to wake up sleepy Dreamer,’ the Voice continued it’s endless taunting.
“Shut up,” Duo whispered weakly as he sagged into his ball like deflating bread, his face hidden from the world.
The Voice danced with a certain venom in its words, ‘Gone, gone, gone. They’re all gone. Left you, left you. They’re never coming back to you. Keep hoping. Ha, ha, ha…Keep dreaming your dreams stupid Dreamer.'
Was this what has become of the once proud gundam pilot; this pitiful ball of flesh and bone?
Duo didn’t care as he sat passively unmoving. This had been going on for hours. He had already stopped questioning his sanity hours ago. Why deny it when it was so obvious?
‘Shattered dreams, Dreamer, shattered dreams,’ the Voice continued its merry matron.
Each word the Voice uttered, each and every syllable, drove a shard of those shattered dreams through his heart, his very soul, until he bleed crimson. But not one cut or drop of blood was seen by anyone, not even himself.
‘Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP,’ it laughed a joyous tone, ‘Now’s not the time to sleep and dream!’
Like he would be able to do either one of those things. Everything was now a nightmare.
‘Reality’s a bitch,’ countered the laughing Voice.
“Shut up!” A boost of anger had Duo on his feet in seconds, “Shut the fuck up!”
The Voice simply laughed as Duo went ragging through the apartment once more. Goddamn it; he hated what he did to help the place. USLESS! Pathetic! Tears streamed down his eyes. He pretended they weren’t there, and he was doing well at it until he was faced next to a mirror.
A small and differentvoice an five year old went through his head. A distant memory of a so called childhood. Boy's don't cry, it whispered.
‘Wake up to reality Duo,’ the Voice was strangely stern and void of all it’s laughter. It wasas if it knew what Duo was thinking about.
The mirror was shattered by an angry fist, one that got even bloodier than before; cuts on top of cuts from his other, earlier, rages. He paid them no heed. Instead he looked down to the mirror’s remains, violet eyes shinning like amethyst-fire with a sort of glitter quality. Blood and tears dripped in a show, yet steady rhythm on to the reflecting glass, making it seem like there was more of the liquid than there really was.
He fell to his knees in an anguish defeat; his knees getting cut up by the fallen glass. He looked down to them, not recognizing the electric pain corseting through his body in warningof the broken shards. There was already a lot of pain to bear, more was unnoticed. Time passed by in a wave neither fast nor slow, just simply leaving. It was impossible to tell, unless one was there to witness the downfall of Duo Maxwell, but if one was a witness, one would think they would try to have stopped what should have never happened. One would have been there to comfort the world’s once proclaimed hero. Instead Duo was left a lone, in a cold room, to bare a pain no one knew of. No Family or friend in sight.
Time passed as time always does, when Duo finally looked down to his bloodily hands. He panicked. D-did he kill someone! No… no… NO! He was done killing! Shinigami’s dead! DEAD!
…he was dead too…
His hands fell limply to his sides and his head bowed down in defeat once more.
‘Stupid Dreamer,’ he thought to himself, his voice lost from yelling, and his unwanted companion clapped, ‘Bravo!’
He looked down to the shattered mirror, at the refection to an equally shattered soul, ‘Reality is a bitch.’
The Voice laughed. If he really thought about it, the Voice would have sounded like the cruel nasal sound the “Doctors” had back during the war days, ‘Now you get it, boy! What’s left to do now?’
Blood fell like tears to the floor.
It was a cool night. The grasshoppers were out signing their woeful tone with the other creatures of the night. The trees were gently tossed by the wind. The moon was in hiding behind some gray cloud, leaving the room, the painting, and a man in a surreal glow.
The man was in an old, warn, button down white shirt andblack boxers. His hair was unconfined as it brushed agents his ankles. He was the vision of a nightly ghost staring at the painting from long ago, lost in dark memory.
The study was left of the front door coming in; adjacent to the foyer. It was like any old study: lots of books, a black, comfortable love set and matching couch, a few forest green Afghans and a small computer located in the middle of the nothern wall. The room had three windows, two facing the front of the house set side by side, and one on the opposite wall from the door, on west side wall. The room had that strange welcoming smell libraries are accustom to having.
The door opened with out a sound from the well oiled hinges, and Harry came in with a sleeping Chi. Duo did move to greet him. He didn’t move at all in fact, but just kept staring at the painting, a hand holding back the dusty covering.
“Duo?” Harry inquired softly.
“I… I just had to see it suddenly…” Duo said in a harsh whisper as he gently traced a red tear line on the cheek of the mask.
Harry nodded his head, but Duo did not see it. “Did,” he hesitated a moment, “Did you have another dream?”
Duo gulped, but still didn’t face him, “Yeah.”
Harry set his hand on Duo’s shoulder, unable to hold him like he wanted to with Chi in his arms. “Do you want me to get Solo?”
Duo was touching one of the ruby drops that were falling away from the mask, “No… No, I’m fine.”
The mask looked almost happy to those that never took the time to really study it. The wrinkles around the lips showed the face to be one that would smile at a drop of a hat, but the ones around the eyes showed pain, age, suffering, and sadness. Duo traced these lines as if he were following their path and reading their story of the past. He knew these lines.
Harry didn’t say anything. Duo wouldn’t have realized it anyway.
Lost in thought, the tips of Duo’s fingers trailed across the painting with a familiar feeling. He lingered on the small scripture, “DM-AC199.”
“Hey,” Harry jumped as his hands were reaching for the door. He looked over to see Duo’s violet eyes. “Yes?” Harry walked back to Duo’s side.
Duo sat on the single couch and Harry followed suite by sitting on the love seat. Duo’s eyes were downcast, and he had subconsciously brought the painting with him.
After a few minutes of silent Harry spoke worriedly, “Duo, what is it? Is something wrong?”
“No. No I’m fine,” Duo reassured while hugging his old painting, “It’s just… Harry, did you love me? I mean, when we were going out.”
Harry smiled softly, “I still do.”
Duo flinched, his hands clutched the canvas in a white knuckle grip, “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… What I mean is...”
Harry chuckled, “Duo you have nothing to be sorry for. I’m okay.”
Duo looked up and Harry almost gasped at the beauty before him, “I’m… Really?”
“Yeah.” Silence descended on the room again.
Harry’s head was the one downcast this time as he fiddled with Chi’s blanket, “Duo… Do you really love him?”
Silence.
Harry laughed softly, “Still not going to say anything are you?” still not a word, “Ha ha ha, yeah.”
Harry slowly got up and walked over towards Duo. He gently pried the canvas from his fingers and viewed the precious piece of art work. He remembered the painting all too clearly. It was a few months after they had met for the first time and Duo was trying somethings to vent out some much needed emotions. The result was a warehouse full of canvases. They only kept a few in the houses for such occasion as these.
Harry smiled sadly, “It’s really good.”
“Not really,” Duo said dejectedly.
Harry shook his head at the answer he knew he would get from past experience, but didn’t say a word for the pictures defense. Instead, he took the picture to the closet it was erected from and set it down next to its brothers: on of many masks with different expression, one of a very broken mask that looked to have been glued together by a child, one of a jester’s mask fading into the dark, and the original picture that now decorated Duo’s journal, “Shinigami’s Stage.”
Harry locked the door with the key that was still there and tugged a reluctant Duo behind him as he left the study with Chi still in his arms sleeping soundly.
“Come on,” Harry encouraged Duo, “I’m not crazy enough to let you sleep a lone again. Solo would kill me, cut off my head, and impale it on a pointy stick as a warning to everyone else.”
Duo snorted as a smiled tugged at the corners of his mouth, “Damn. My perfect plan has been foiled.”
Harry tugged Duo into the living room, “Smart ass.”
Duo chuckled.
Harry signed, “I’m really starting to believe that you like tormenting me.”
“Really? You just figured that out now?”
Harry smacked Duo upside the head, and Duo laughed. “Impossible,” he grumbled.
Duo sat on the three-setter couch and Harry transferred Chi to him. Duo gave her a motherly smile and he brushed her hair out of her eyes. He laid down side ways and secured Chi within his arms. Harry draped a comforter on the two before getting into his own blankets on the floor.
Silence before, “Harry?”
A sigh, “Yes?”
“Are you awake?”
“No. Shut up.”
“…I can’t go to sleep…I'm-I’m afraid...” The implications to other, darker, things were crystal clear Harry. “… Talk to me?” Duo asked.
Harry turned around in his bed to face Duo, “What do you want to talk about.”
“Anything is fine.” Duo said while petting Chi’s head, more for his comfort than her’s.
“Okay, that gives me a lot to go by,” he thought for a moment, “Who do you think is sexiest, me or Solo?”
Duo laughed and threw something from the side table at him, something hard, “You terd.”
Harry laughed too, “No, I’m serious. Who?”
Duo thought about that. Should he say Solo just to spite him, or say “you are” to boost his ego… his choice was an obvious one.
Harry pouted pettily, “Meanny.”
Duo laughed again and arranged himself so that he was lying on his back with Chi on his stomach. Chi moved a little bit to settle in before sucking on her thumb subconsciously. He looked up to the ceiling lost in thought for a moment.
“Hey, Duo.”
“Huh?”
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here. I promise I won’t run away.”
Duo wanted to morbidly say that everyone has to go away some time but chose to chuckle instead, “I’m fine.”
Harry ignored him, “It’s getting worst. The nightmares.” It wasn’t a question but a flat out statement.
A moment, “Yeah.”
“It’s not because of you-know-what. I could tell because it started before Solo said anything about the Family Reunion.” Duo waited and Harry continued, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s just a dream...” Duo hugged Chi close, and that was all he said as sleep took over.
GOD! It took me forever just to type that out! I totally made up that last part on the spot. Really I had planed for Solo to come and see that Duo was still awake, talk a little an that was it. And the paintings were just something I’ve been playing with when I was planning the whole story. I wasn’t sure to put them in here or not.
It took me three tries just to get this chapter started. I got a bit distracted when I found out the glories of Harry Potter fan fiction… hee hee… Snape and Harry all the way! (Just to let all of you know, MY Harry wasn’t taken from Harry Potter, it was just a coincidence.)
So how was this chapter? Worth the wait? (Not really) I tried to give you all a look into some of the mysteries. I know most of you can guess pretty close to what happen, just PLEASE don’t tell me… I will feel discouraged about my sneakiness and will try to change things.
Fell free to ask questions. Don’t say anything about my grammar or spelling (I’ll hate you and not want to Update). I love questions thought. I’d hate to leave loss ends.
Chapter dedicated to Avaanace for her wit and charm that makes me want to write, if only just for her.
Duo: ((Chuckles)) A proclamation of LOVE.
Michi: Shut up crazy!
Duo: ((Whines)) That was so not fare! That first part was so cheesy Michi! And lame. I bet it was filled with grammar errors and spelling mistakes.
Michi: ((Cries)) Solo! Duo is being mean!
Solo: So?
Duo: ((smirk))
Michi: Heero?
Heero: ((Computer: click click click))
Michi: Nataku?
Nataku: ((somewhere in the house)) OoOooo yeah, right there Johnathan! Aaa ah ah….
Johnathan: ((grunting))
Michi: ((squeal)) … ((bluuush))
Solo: Shit! Wait for me! ((runs towards the other two and the sounds of a creaky bed))
Michi: …. X.X
Duo: …. Fuck… ((a pause)) … ((giggles))
Heero: ((Computer: click click click))
JA NE!
I’ll try to get the next chapter out ASAP. Until then, BAI BAI!
P L E A S E
R E V I E W!