InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The King's Mistress ❯ Verdict ( Chapter 34 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Verdict

It was the most liberating experience of my life. For the first time I had thrown propriety and cautionto the wind, and instead spoke my mind without fear…and had also potentially sentenced myself to death, because I was well aware that there was the distinct possibility the three monarchs judging the trial would see fit to execute us both after I had dared to lecture the court on morals and etiquette. And yet, even knowing all that, I was suddenly unafraid. My heart was more at peace than it had been in all the months since I had first come to court. I felt like I had finally done what was needed of me, and now, at long last, I could simply sit down and take a deep breath.

Still, I was no fool, and as such, after the trial closed that day I was careful to avoid any and all members of the court…and especially a particular hanyou King who I knew would be furious about what I had said and done.

And so, with Yuka and Gideon's help, I managed to avoid Inuyasha, and the court, for the rest of the night and through the next few days, managing to escape just before anyone would come anywhere near my room so that I was truly “gone” when they would come to call. But I couldn't hide from the world forever, and, in all honesty, I didn't want to be alone as the days wore on and still no verdict was announced. My nerves began to go raw and blister once more, and I found myself yearning for his presence and his voice to tell me everything would be all right.

So finally, after five days of silence from the courts, and isolation in my room, I gave in and sought him out, and that day would forevermore stay in my mind as a day to treasure and a day to hate all at the same time, for while it seemed the men on Earth were finally willing to forgive Kikyou for all she'd done, God had a darker plan for my sister…an outcome none of us had foreseen, and could only recognize when it was too late…

* * * * *

Five days. It had been five days since she had last been summoned to the courtroom, since Inuyasha had come to stand by her side, and Kagome had openly risked her life by throwing her lot in with a condemned woman.

Kikyou Higurashi had never been a woman inclined towards anxiety or impatience, and yet, suddenly, she wished the trial would end. It was worse now, knowing testimonies were through…that all had been said…then it had been each day she'd walked through the mud and the rain and then sat and listened as her name was slandered by people she'd never even met. At least then she knew what to expect (people were after all very predictable). But now she had no idea whether or not Kagome's risky plan had worked…whether or not Inuyasha's strong and steady presence had swayed the judges in her favor.

And so, for the first time, Kikyou was afraid.

Not to die; she had never, for some strange reason, been afraid to die. But rather, she was afraid for Kagome. She had been both horrified and awed by her sister's declaration, her ultimate show of loyalty and devotion, because now, suddenly, Kikyou couldn't just accept her fate and be done with the world. Now, she had someone she had to protect, and despite anything Kagome may have said, Kikyou would be damned if she allowed her beautiful little sister to die for her sins.

“Damn you, Kagome,” she hissed, shivering and curling up tighter under the thick blankets the kind old guard had brought to her four days ago. But speaking disturbed the calm she had been struggling to maintain within her body, and her slim frame was suddenly wracked with a horrific coughing fit that went on for several minutes. She tried to muffle it as best she could using the coarse wool fabric, not wanting any of the guards outside her door to hear, before sighing in relief when the fit passed and she was again able to sink her head down on the pillow, curling up in a ball on her side.

She was not well.

Almost since the day she had been brought to the Tower Kikyou had felt some microscopic form of evil being to crawl within her heart, taking hold of her soul, slowly draining her life away. At first she had thought it merely another side effect from her pregnancy, since all she had felt initially was excessive fatigue and the inclination towards vertigo and dizziness. But then, as the days had progressed, her appetite had left her, and sleep had become more difficult. And now, for the past five days, she had been plagued with a horrific cough (which sometimes at the end of the day could rub her throat so raw she saw specks of blood), and a fever that came and went like an unwelcome ghost.

But still she hid it from the world.

She'd taken to wearing long, draping robes over her gown, which she had requested through letters that Kagome send to her, to hide her fast-thinning frame (save for her belly), and each time a guard came to bring her food or drink, she would pinch her cheeks desperately to give her face a false rosy color and hide the circles under her eyes.

Call it pride, or anything else, but Kikyou Higurashi would be damned if the rest of the world found out about her ill health and then decided to be lenient in her sentence. She wanted to hear what they thought of her without another ailment, since a baby was bad enough and would no doubt soften their judgment towards her. This time she wanted to just take her punishment courageously, and not give the mob any other reasons for shunning her.

A smirk came to her face as she thought about the rumors that would circulate should the judges find out about her illness and pardon her of all crimes. They would say she was a coward who had hidden behind a disease to remain alive.

Her smirk turned to a frown.

“If they think this disease would provide any sort of defense against death, they are wrong,” she whispered. She could feel it, slowly but surely creeping in and surrounding her, wrapping around her shoulders and resting over her body like an unwelcome cloak. Imminent doom if she didn't get out of the Tower and receive medical care.

“Kagome…” She knew her sister would fly to her aid in an instant if she caught wind of her illness. She knew she had been provided with a free pass out of the Tower in the form of the King's official demand if he were to be told.

Yet she still hesitated.

Despite all that had happened, despite the torturous days in the court hearing her life pathetically strewn out before her in the words of cruel and vengeful women, and despite having to endure the hot gaze of a man who hated and loved her all at once, Kikyou suddenly felt at peace in a way she'd never felt before. She no longer had to hide anything from anyone. Not her affair from her husband, or her troubles from her sister…or her misplaced pity for Naraku, which had proved to be her undoing.

Her slate had been wiped clean, which she knew was more than many women and men alike at court could boast of. She had stood proudly and accepted their scorn, bore their disapproving stares, listened to their burning remarks…and in the end she had shamed them all with her pride and her morals.

Well done, then, she thought triumphantly.

There was a knock at her door, and Kikyou instantly shot up on the bed, swinging her legs around and dropping the blankets from her shoulders, instead simply shrugging further into the elegant velvet robes over her shoulders, covering her green and gold dress. She hastily pinched her cheeks, refusing to wince as her sensitively cold skin protested, and made a quick swipe at her hair to assure herself that it was no longer matted down with sweat from the fever that had passed a little over an hour ago.

The old guard she had come to see as a friend and ally appeared around the corner, frowning as his eyes took in her haggard appearance despite all her best efforts to hide it. Kikyou knew by his gaze that her ill health was progressing to the point that she could no longer hide it, but still pretended she was just fine as she rose to her feet, forcefully swallowing back the coughing fit.

But he, the only one to know of her ailment, saw her struggle, and immediately shut the door behind him, at which time she immediately turned and allowed the fit to take hold, coughing into one of the blankets which she held over her mouth, muffling the sound. Her throat was so raw from the abuse she could hardly stand it, and she knew this would be a day that would draw blood if she wasn't careful.

As the fit passed and her trembling body began to calm once more, she felt a large, calloused hand come to rest on her shoulder, and she sighed, remaining still for a moment as she accepted his offered strength.

Finally she turned around to look at his kind and weathered face, which was marred by a harsh frown, his gray hair smartly pulled back at the nape of his neck, his armor polished to a sheen. “Thank you, sir.”

His frown only deepened. “Your Majesty, you know I do not approve of keeping this a secret. You need the care of a doctor.”

“And you know what I have commanded you to do,” she replied firmly, though her eyes remained warm with gratitude. “Your kindness has given me hope, good sir, and has meant I have not been forced to endure this alone. Please do not dishonor me now.”

He sighed and bowed his head before moving back to open the door once more. “The court summons you, Your Majesty.”

She felt her heart flip slightly in anticipation. “The verdict?”

He nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Kikyou had to call on all her years of training in propriety to keep from leaping forward in her eagerness to put it all to an end, schooling her face to remain calm and passive as she simply nodded her head and took a deceptively confident step forward. “Very well, sir…lead the way.”

Her old knight bowed his head and took her offered hand in his, masking his reaction at her clammy skin and shaking fingers, leading her onward to her fate.

* * * * *

How many times had she walked those halls? How many times had she gone to his room…to his study…to any place with his presence so that she could offer comfort or advice? She could have walked there in her sleep, and she knew it…so why now, suddenly, was Kagome Higurashi so afraid to approach the King's chamber door?

Taking a deep breath, she stepped forward, towards the large mahogany double-doors yet again, fully intending to reach for the knob and open it, and yet again found herself hesitating and pulling back at just the last second. She was acting ridiculous for so many reasons, not the least of which being the reality that with his sharp hanyou ears he was no doubt aware of the footsteps pacing outside in the hallway.

“Come on, Kagome, what's the worst he can do?” She mumbled, knowing it wasn't helping the instant she pictured him slicing her with his claws for being so stupid and reckless in her testimony. Of course, in her mind the fantasy Inuyasha also apologized for what he did and instantly made her forgive him with a gentle kiss, but that was beside the point. She wasn't sure a kiss was worth five claw marks on her belly.

She shook her head to rid herself of the violent image, and growled to herself. “He's not going to hurt you, you idiot! This is Inuyasha!” And I trust him, she added silently, and with that thought in mind she finally moved confidently towards the door, starting to turn the knob, but stopped again.

Would it be more proper to knock first?

It was strange, but after she'd seen the looks Inuyasha and Kikyou had exchanged at the trial, and the way he had so ardently defended his wife, Kagome suddenly found herself feeling out of place and very unsure of where she stood in his eyes. She didn't know how to interpret their relationship any more…not that it had ever been very clear…but now, more than ever before, the fogs seemed to have rolled in and managed to completely obscure the horizon of purpose she'd once been able to see.

How did he feel about her, anyway? Did he love her? Was she a passing fancy that he would eventually overcome in favor of his stunning, intelligent, and witty wife?

Kagome knew Inuyasha would never intentionally hurt her, either physically or emotionally…and yet she also knew how easy it would be for him to choose the simpler path in life and follow his wife once she was free, completely forgetting about Kagome and moving on. After all, he had loved her once, hadn't he? Logic suggested it wouldn't be that difficult to love Kikyou again.

And besides all that, Kagome had seen the way Kikyou had looked at her husband while he was speaking; as though he were a god that had come to rescue her; her knight in shining armor. And Kagome also knew that once Kikyou truly devoted all of her affection and love to Inuyasha, the poor, innocent hanyou probably wouldn't stand a chance.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as Kagome realized, with horror, that while she had helped her sister, she could now very possibly lose the only man she had ever loved.

Forever.

She would grow old while they aged slowly. She would die and be forgotten. Or she could marry Kouga (for she knew he'd take her back) and be forced to live alongside them for centuries to come and watch as their love only continued to grow while Kagome's love was slowly swept away as nothing more than a passing fancy.

She wasn't sure which fate was worse.

The tears continued to push at her eyes, and Kagome forcefully shook her head. She refused to think of such things at that moment. Inuyasha cared for her now. That was all that mattered. And, more than anything, that was all she could possibly consider, because all other outcomes were too horrible to even think about for more than a few seconds before despair settled over her heart.

So, with one last firm shake of her head, Kagome pushed her confusion aside for the time being and rapped four times purposefully on Inuyasha's door.

“Enter!” Was the almost immediate reply, telling Kagome he had definitely been aware of her presence in the hall. Without pause, she pushed the door open, immediately feeling a rush of warm air from the fire burning in his wealthy hearth.

As usual, Kagome felt her breath hitch slightly as she saw him, his silver hair glittering under the light of the fire combined with the light of mid-morning pouring through his many spacious windows. His posture was rigid, and his jaw was set, telling Kagome there was something pressing on his mind, and as she saw him turn and look at her, she had a sneaking suspicion she was at least part of the cause for his distress.

“I was wondering when you'd finally come to me,” he murmured, his voice devoid of warmth, as though he were desperately trying to reign in his emotions…or, more to the point, his temper. Kagome recognized he had to be in an extremely foul mood to actually be consciously trying to restrain himself, and it didn't escape her notice that he frequently reached down to touch the sword at his side.

“I needed some time to be alone,” she began, fumbling for words, feeling as though she had done something wrong. Perhaps she'd judged wrong…perhaps he wouldn't have railed against her for making such a speech, and now was furious for her lack of faith in his understanding nature.

But then…

“No doubt you shocked yourself by what you said the other day in court,” he snapped back, and Kagome instantly sobered, realizing that was exactly what was bothering him, just as she'd suspected.

“Please, Inuyasha…”

“Don't take that tone with me,” he barked at her. “Don't talk to me like I'm some stupid little child you need to placate. I am more than that! And I won't have you talk down to me!”

Kagome blinked. “I…had no intention of talking down to you, Inuyasha.”

That seemed to cool him slightly, though his eyes were still burning with barely controlled rage. “How could you?”

“Excuse me?”

“How could you risk your life like that? How could you demand such a thing from the court! Do you know what you've done?”

Her eyes flared. “Yes, I know exactly what I've done, because like you I am not some stupid little child. I have preserved my honor, and made a statement that the entire court can just choke on for all I care. My pride is still in tact, and I had the courage to say what I needed to say.”

Inuyasha took a step towards her, gripping the hilt of his sword until his knuckles turned white, but Kagome firmly held her ground, her back straight and her head high despite the fact that she was quivering slightly inside. She'd never seen him quite this upset…quite so desperate. Though desperate for what, she didn't know.

“You really don't understand, do you?” He asked, though she knew it wasn't a question and so chose not to answer. “What you've done, Kagome, is force the monarchs into a position they never wanted to be in. Now, if they find Kikyou guilty, they will have to put you on trial and execute you as well! Otherwise they would lose all integrity in the eyes of the court! Don't you understand? If Kikyou's found guilty, then you may as well sign your own death warrant!”

She'd be lying if she said the thought didn't terrify her, but all the same Kagome forced her head to remain high out of pride and the instinctive flare of her own temper. “At least I'll have my honor, and no one will be able to call either myself or my sister filthy liars again.”

“Oh your pride will be in tact, alright!” He shot back, taking another few steps forward so that he was a mere foot away from her. “You'll probably die a martyr and everyone will sing your praises as you lay dead in your coffin!” He suddenly grabbed her arms and shook her violently. “Is that what you want? To die and leave all those who care about you?”

Kagome recalled how Kouga had once warned that she would die making a martyr of herself, and couldn't resist the sad smile that came to her face. “I would never want to leave you, Inuyasha,” she replied, her voice soft. “But if it is God's will, then…”

“Damn his will!” Inuyasha shot back, squeezing her arms tighter, though at least he'd stopped shaking her. “Damn everything and everyone in this world, including you!”

“Me?” She was taken aback.

“Yes you! Damn you for coming into my life and making me believe I could have something more than a loveless marriage to a heart turned to stone! Damn you for making me want more than that! And damn you for not seeming to care about how it would affect me if you just suddenly died and left me alone!”

“Inuyasha…” She could hardly speak. He was probably telling her the most romantic admission of his feelings she would ever hear without actually saying the one word she yearned for.

“Kagome…” He said her name, but then looked away, down at the floor. “It's bad enough that Kikyou may have to die for this. Why you too? It's too much to lose a wife and you all at once. With both of you gone, there would be nothing left for me.”

She knew he had never been good with words. She was well aware of the fact that he probably didn't even realize how that had sounded to her. And yet, for reasons unknown to her, Kagome suddenly felt her temper flare as all of her insecurities came rushing back. “So if Kikyou weren't to die, you wouldn't be so devastated?” She wrenched herself free of his grasp. “If she were still here you'd at least have some consolation, even if I died? And if I lived, at least you'd have someone to be with? Is that what you're saying Inuyasha? That I'd just be some poor replacement of your wife, who looks like her, and could offer you comfort?”

His eyes opened wide in surprise, but he was quick to recover…and snap right back at her. “That's not what I meant at all, woman, and you know that! I only meant that I don't see why two women would have to die over all of this!”

“But one is okay?” She retorted. “So long as one of us lives you could live with yourself?”

“I don't like anything about this situation!”

“You know sometimes I think I should just die so that you could be free to stay with Kikyou!” Kagome snapped, at long last voicing the insecurities and hidden fears that had been roiling within her heart for so long, but most especially in the past five days. “At least then you would still have your wife, and be free of the trouble caused by having a mistress to darken your otherwise perfect marriage!”

Inuyasha had gone strangely silent. “Kagome…please don't say you want to die…”

“Oh Inuyasha,” Kagome felt the tears brim and spill over her cheeks as she spoke. “I don't want to leave you, but sometimes I feel like your life, and Kikyou's, would be better if I just didn't exist. I'm sorry for making it difficult for you to love your wife, and I'm sorry for being so selfish and coming back to you when I should have stayed away.” Her voice cracked. “I'm sorry for everything…I'm so sorry…” She fell to her knees and wept, her tears meant for all three of them, all victims of the trap created by a pathetic and heartbroken man.

The stone was cold against her knees, and Kagome involuntarily shuddered just as she felt a pair of strong arms sweep her off the ground and cradle her against a strong chest, and without thinking she turned into the crook of Inuyasha's neck as he carried her over to sit on one of his many plush red couches.

Feeling her relax in his arms, Inuyasha felt the usual warmth spread throughout his chest, but his smile quickly turned into a frown once more as he thought about what Kagome had just been saying. It pained him to know she thought his life would be better without her in it…but he didn't know how to make her feel better.

He'd never been good at this sort of thing.

He didn't want her gone. He needed her as much as a person could need another. She was his source of light and joy, and while he didn't like the idea of anyone dying, he knew that if he had to choose he would throw himself in front of a carriage to save Kagome rather than anyone else in the world. But he was terrified to say so, because given her volatile moods he didn't know if she would then whirl on him and accuse him of being false with her sister, or simply embrace him lovingly.

Hn…women were so damn complicated sometimes!

“Kagome…” He breathed her name, and felt her tense slightly as she moved away enough to meet his amber gaze. Framing her face with his hands, he brought his forehead down so that it was touching hers. “Don't you ever even think of leaving me. I need you too much.”

“But Kikyou...”

“Marrying her was the biggest mistake of my life,” he interrupted, and surprised even himself with his blunt response. And yet, he was just suddenly so tired. Tired of being noble; tired of being proper; tired of being a King. All he wanted was the right and the ability to choose what he would do with his life, so that he could move far away with Kagome at his side and together they could face the world. And the intensity of such a desire, of his emotions, shocked him to the core of his being.

When had he fallen so deeply, so fully in love with her? He honestly couldn't remember. It was like wading into a lake slowly at first as the sands gradually receded, so that he barely noticed the cold creeping up his legs until suddenly the ground dropped off completely and he was plunged into something he was utterly and completely unprepared for. It would be easy, he knew, to simply swim back to shore, to deny that Kagome existed and live his life with Kikyou…and yet, Inuyasha also knew he would never willingly walk on solid ground again. The cold water that had stunned him at first was now too refreshing…too pure…too beautiful to leave.

“You can't tell me that you never loved her,” Kagome insisted, although he could see the slight hope in the far corners of her eyes. That brought a smile to his face. His Kagome was the kindest, purest person he knew; yet even she was not devoid of such emotions as insecurity, jealousy, and fear of losing the man she loved.

“There was a time when I did care for her, it's true,” he responded, treading carefully on what he said, for once taking great pains to think things through before anything escaped his lips he would regret later. “I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and could hardly believe it when she agreed to marry me.”

Kagome frowned and looked away. “She is beautiful.”

“But…” He continued forcefully, bringing her eyes around to look at him once more, “What we had was false, Kagome. It was a love that was shaky at best, and founded on all the wrong reasons. She was looking for a knight to come and pull her out of the dark life she had been left with after Onigumo, and I was just looking for someone who would love me for who I was and make me feel cherished in a way only my mother had done before.”

“But weren't you ever happy with her before?” Kagome asked, wondering why she was suddenly needing to know, but also recognizing that at any moment the judges could return and give their verdict, and if Kikyou survived, Kagome had to understand where she stood in Inuyasha's life.

“Happy?” The hanyou frowned and looked down at his hands for a while in silent contemplation, watching as memories flashed before his eyes. Had he ever felt happy with Kikyou? He had felt grateful for her care and her attention, and she had been grateful for the protection he had offered from the cruel words of the women of the court…but could that be called happiness?

In all truthfulness, he couldn't recall ever hearing Kikyou laugh without a care in the world. The sound had always been strained on the rare occasion when she did laugh, and otherwise she had always seemed like a woman who was desperately trying to stay in control of everything about her life. Her eyes had been masked by pain, and her face had always seemed strained with the worries of a woman who had committed some horrible crime. So she had never seemed particularly happy, but he had a feeling she would have been that way with anyone.

She had been lonely after Onigumo was sent to the Tower, because she had isolated her family and been rejected by all the proper ladies of the court, and that is what had first drawn Inuyasha to her; for she had carried the same loneliness that had resided in his own heart. Kikyou had made him feel content in a way he had never known before, but that was mostly the contentment of knowing he wouldn't have to watch as other men danced with their partners while he had no one at his side.

For once people had envied him, and not the other way around.

But…could any of that be called happiness?

“Kikyou never made me feel as happy as you do, Kagome,” he finally answered carefully, hoping he was saying the right thing. But honestly he couldn't tell, because a mask now covered her face. “She never laughed like you do,” he continued, “And she was never so honest with me as you are. In short, she only offered me part of her heart, whereas you give me yours in its entirety without question.” He swallowed. “And I'm afraid every day that you'll decide I'm not worth such a sacrifice as you have made, and that you'll leave me…”

Kagome seemed to come alive at that statement. “Inuyasha,” She placed a hand against his cheek, “You'll never lose me. I could never leave you.”

“But why stay?” Now it was his turn to be insecure, and she waited, and listened, patiently. “I have nothing to offer you but a life of loneliness, without a husband, and without the kind of love you deserve. With Kouga, with Bankotsu…with anyone else…you could have the world laid at your feet. They would treat you like a goddess…”

She smiled warmly and moved her face closer to his, still cradled in the security of his arms, sitting on his lap. “I don't want to be treated like a goddess, Inuyasha. I want to be treated like a human being who deserves respect, and who has a brain equal to any man. You give me that.”

“Keh, along with insults.”

“Inuyasha…”

“You've said before that I hurt you with my words.” His voice was tight. “Why would you willingly put yourself through that?”

Lord knew she'd asked herself that many times after he'd made her cry, and yet Kagome knew the answer to that question without needing to even pause. Feeling uncharacteristically bold, she leaned forward and kissed his lips gently, chastely, before pulling away again. “Because I love you, that's why.”

He felt his heart warm as the familiar words washed over him, and Inuyasha knew he'd never tire of hearing her say it. “Kagome…I…” He couldn't speak, feeling all his anger from before leaving him completely as he brought her chin forward for another, deeper kiss. He felt her wrap her arms around his neck, and in turn he tightened his hold about her waist, fire lacing through his belly just as surely as it did hers.

At the last second, before things got out of hand, he lifted his head and pulled away, contenting himself by resting his chin atop her head and inhaling her sweet scent, allowing it to wash over him like cool water, calming his racing heart.

He felt her body trembling against his, and tightened his hold, listening as the comfortable silence between them became strained. He knew he should say something…that she was waiting for him to say something. But what…?

And then, as he thought about the way it felt to have her kiss him, to have her hold him, recalling the sound of her laughter and the genuine sparkle in her deep innocent eyes, he knew. His voice, tight and strained before, suddenly felt easy, his tone low and filled with purpose. “I love you.”

At first Kagome simply went still against him, hardly daring to register what he had said, but then, suddenly, it was as though someone had set off fireworks of joy within her breast, her heart dancing on her soul, and she leaned back with a stupid smile on her face. “You…you do?”

The blush on his cheeks deepened, and now Inuyasha just felt uncomfortable as he looked away. “Keh…of course I do, woman! Haven't I done enough to show you how I felt? Would I put up with your fowl temper all the time if I didn't love you?”

“My…?” Kagome knew she should have been offended, knew she should have felt angry and snapped back at him, reminding him that it was usually his temper that started it all…but in the end all she could do was throw her head back and laugh, the sound free and unrestrained, without care or worry, because for just that moment he had wiped it all away.

Leaning forward and throwing her arms around his neck, she folded her knees beneath her body, raising her up so that she towered over him, leaning down and burying her nose in the hair atop his head, her cheek resting against one of his velvety soft ears. “Oh Inuyasha…” She giggled again, and this time felt him respond with a laugh of his own before he possessively put his arms around her waist, holding her close.

There was the sudden sound of the door opening, but rather than leap away from each other as they usually did, this time Kagome was too lost in her joy to let go, and Inuyasha simply didn't seem to care. Thankfully fate was kind, and the two unannounced visitors simply shut the door behind them before walking forward slowly with knowing grins on their faces.

“Well…I see you two have come to an understanding,” Miroku chuckled, his eyes dancing with delighted amusement.

His voice finally reached Kagome, and she blushed fiercely, slowly removing her arms from around Inuyasha's neck, lowering herself so that she was sitting once more beside him, his head higher than hers. But she also noted, with a trace of her old joy, that the hanyou did nothing to retract his own arms, which stayed firmly about her waist, practically holding her in his lap.

She blushed at the thought and looked down.

Miroku turned and looked at Sango, who was grinning like a fool, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Would you care to mimic our friends, my love?”

At that the woman turned a fierce shade of scarlet, matching her pink and gold gown, and Sango shot the man beside her a warning glare. “Don't even think about it, sir.”

At that Kagome giggled, noting with delight that her friend hadn't done anything to correct Miroku's rather possessive name for her. Perhaps things would work out after all…

But her euphoria was short lived, because she felt Inuyasha's chest rumble as he spoke, his voice calm and collected as he looked steadily at his best friend. “You have news, I assume?”

Miroku seemed to instantly sober at that, and he removed his hand from where it had been slowly lowering to her waist, nodding his head gravely. “Yes. The judges have called the court back to hear the verdict.”

A flash of ice cold fear raced through her belly, and Kagome couldn't keep her face from paling dramatically at the news, but she bravely swallowed and forced her voice to remain calm. “Did they give any hint of what my sister's fate shall be?”

Sango gave her friend a sympathetic look. “No, but don't lose hope, Kagome. They are supposed to seem impassive.”

“I suppose.” But her voice had dropped several levels, her joy instantly fading, replaced by the fear that had been gnawing away at her heart for the past several weeks. It seemed not even Inuyasha's love could relieve her completely of her struggles and her suffering.

“Let's go then.” It was Inuyasha who spoke, his voice strong, revealing nothing of his inner turmoil as he watched his woman struggle with herself. He felt love anew in his heart, admiring her courage and her desperate fight to remain calm as she rose to her feet, leaving his arms feeling cold without her.

Sango instantly wrapped her arms around Kagome's shoulders, and they began to walk towards the door. “Don't you worry, Kagome,” she spoke in a soft, warm, soothing voice. “I'm with you, and I'll be with you all day. Everything will be alright.”

Kagome tried to muster a smile, but only half succeeded. “I hope so, Sango. I pray you're right.”

* * * * *

Unlike before, this time Kagome made no dramatic entrance, didn't dress to look like a Queen, or even try to keep herself haughtily aloof. Instead she arrived with the rest of the court in the great hall dressed in a simple gown of green and gold, her hair mimicking the women of the North and falling freely down her back, her eyes staring straight ahead as she moved quickly down the aisle to reach her sister. Yet she still carried an aura of strength about her, and as she walked with Sango, Miroku, and Inuyasha at her side, she was well aware of the admiring gazes of the men and women around her.

But she ignored it all, intent on reaching her destination, grateful for Sango's arm, which was still around her shoulders, as they moved. She felt Inuyasha's strong presence behind her, and while she knew that in public he couldn't physically offer comfort, just one look into his eyes and she knew he would if he could, and was reminded of his heartfelt declaration from earlier that morning.

A King…nay, the High King…loved her. That was enough, and she allowed herself to smile confidently as she continued to walk, feeling his love wrap around her shoulders in a blanket of comfort, providing her with a shield against all doubt and insecurity.

But her smile instantly faded as she saw her sister sitting at the front of the room, gazing at the currently empty chairs of the monarchs who would decide her fate.

Something was wrong.

Kikyou looked too thin, her skin too pale, and her eyes too drawn and tired as she gazed into the empty space before her. She clearly thought no one could see her with her back to the rest of the court, and that allowed Kagome to see into her very soul, where she was met with nothing but exhaustion and resignation tinged with a small amount of anxiety.

Her hand rested on her belly, and Kagome watched as it slowly circled absently, as though Kikyou would offer comfort to her unborn child.

“Sister!” She cried out with all the love she could muster, hoping to offer Kikyou some comfort, and watched as the older woman immediately returned her mask to its proper place, her fatigue and worries all fading instantly to be replaced by a façade of joy upon seeing Kagome.

“Kagome…” She sighed and opened her arms to embrace her, which she had not been able to do before since Kagome had been so intent on making a fierce impression among the judges and members of the court.

Without hesitation Kagome went willingly into those arms which had always brought her such comfort, but immediately felt sickened as she realized there was no strength behind the embrace, Kikyou's arms feeling weak and ghastly thin.

“Sister…what's wrong?” She asked bluntly, looking into Kikyou's eyes and seeing a flicker of the pain and exhaustion from a few moments earlier. But it all instantly vanished, and Kagome knew Kikyou would not tell her.

“It's nothing, Kagome; I just didn't sleep very well last night.” The lie flowed easily off her tongue, both women knowing that the other knew it was not the truth, but Kagome let it go, deciding there was a reason for her silence. Kikyou always had a reason, after all.

“Good morning, my lord,” Kikyou greeted Inuyasha kindly, her smile genuine, and Kagome watched as Inuyasha nodded back, a slight smile on his own face as he tried to be kind.

“Kikyou,” he said her name softly, moving to stand at her side, touching her arm in an offer of his strength.

Kagome felt the jealousy and fear instantly return, and so forced her eyes to look elsewhere as the great hall continued to fill with people, noting the intricate designs on the ceiling, the polished marble floor, the golden cross hanging in the center of the far wall…and also noted, with a pang of irony, that she and Kikyou were wearing the same colors that day. The only difference was that Kikyou had her usual tight sleeves, and was also wearing a large purple robe over her shoulders.

Fate really could be cruel in the subtlest ways sometimes.

But as her gaze swept over Kikyou's and their eyes locked momentarily, Kagome felt all her anger melt to be replaced by that ancient love she'd known all her life, and she couldn't help but smile encouragingly, causing Kikyou to return the gesture.

She had never felt happier.

It was a strange thing to say on the day that could potentially spell her doom, and yet Kikyou could honestly say in that moment she felt more loved and supported than ever before. The Marquess was seated just behind her, offering her strength, along with Souta at her side, and she could feel Kagome's presence to her left and Inuyasha to her right.

They had all come for her.

Kikyou smiled, feeling their love wash over her, providing her with a shield against anything evil that could possibly happen that morning, and in that moment she felt more like her old self than ever before. She even gave Inuyasha one of her loveliest, genuine smiles, and he looked slightly unsettled by its warmth, though that didn't surprise her in the least. After all, she'd only ever offered part of herself…never all.

Still, the hanyou King managed a slight smile in return, and she wondered if perhaps there was still a chance for them in the future. It would certainly be convenient, and easy.

But then she watched as Inuyasha's eyes flicked over her head and towards her sister, his amber gaze softening instantly and filling with the kind of emotion Kikyou remembered Onigumo carrying for her in his eyes…and she knew such a hope was not possible. Inuyasha was painfully, deeply in love with Kagome.

She had lost him…not that he'd ever really been hers to lose in the first place.

True, their love had always had an edge to it, as though they both knew there were many, many strings attached…but Inuyasha had always tried to offer her his heart. He'd tried to love her, she had seen it, and she had also seen the love slowly fade from his eyes to be replaced by regret as she had slowly closed herself off from him.

The truth was, she had been afraid to love him. At first she had thought perhaps she could allow her heart to be free again, but then she'd recalled what love had earned her before, and she had immediately leapt back and safely shut herself away once more. She couldn't imagine loving anyone but Onigumo, and more than that, she couldn't bear the thought of getting so deeply hurt again.

And so her hesitation had brought her the reality that her husband was in love with her sister.

Ah, the tangled webs she had woven for herself. And what was worse, she couldn't even feel anger towards either Kagome or Inuyasha, because, in truth, she was the one at fault. She had isolated Kagome for so long that her sister had given up on her, and she had shut Inuyasha out of her heart for long enough that he had finally given up.

The only thing that really stung any more was the reality that Kagome was probably far better for Inuyasha than she ever could have been anyway. Frankly, she was probably better suited to wear the crown of a Queen too…

Kikyou shook her head, refusing to think of such things at that moment. She would not taint her joy upon seeing Kagome and Inuyasha at her side by allowing such petty jealousies and insecurities. She was much stronger than that.

Kagome had purposefully placed herself between Kikyou and Naraku, meaning neither could make eye contact, and now she was feeling uncomfortable under his heated stare, knowing he was furious. But she continued to simply stare straight ahead, only occasionally turning to spare him one of her deadliest glares. She'd be damned if he made her sister suffer any more than he already had.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of waiting (but had probably only been about thirty minutes), the three monarchs judging the trial appeared, taking their seats, as usual two chairs left empty where Inuyasha and Kouga would normally sit. As usual Kagome felt a slight pang as she thought about the fact that she was the reason the wolf King had declined the request that he come to the trial, but quickly pushed it aside to deal with later.

The mob of people behind them instantly stilled, not even needing to be hushed by Sesshoumaru, so that when he finally did rise to his feet the sound of his chair moving across the floor echoed throughout the heavens themselves. Kagome couldn't help but swallow, feeling a weight descend upon her heart, and without thinking she reached for Kikyou's hand, shocked to find it cold, weak, and trembling.

“Courage, sister,” she whispered, meaning it for the both of them, and Kikyou inclined her head slightly and smiled, nodding in response before they both turned to look ahead once more.

Sesshoumaru looked out at the crowd for several moments of silence before finally inclining his head slightly and beginning to speak, his low, calm voice filled with purpose as it carried to every ear in the room.

“This trial has been unusual from the start, for never before has this country questioned a Queen. The house of the royal family has always been nothing short of a place of honor and respect, and has always been clean of any scandal or questionable behavior.” The lord of the west flicked his golden gaze momentarily at Kikyou, telling her that no matter what he was about to say he disagreed with her behavior, and she frowned as he continued. “However, I and the two other monarchs beside me do not feel that adding a blemish to the royal family's good name warrants the death of the Queen.” Kagome felt her knees go weak. “Rather, we feel that Kikyou Higurashi has already been punished enough for her crime by enduring this trial, and all the humiliation and scorn it has entailed. Had she in any way plotted the death of the High King, or promised her disillusioned lover favors and glory, we would of course see it as treason, but since her affair with the accused Naraku only went as far as one night, and potentially begetting her with his child, we find no reason for her to be executed on the charges of treason.”

Kagome felt Kikyou's hand go slack, and she turned to see her sister's face pale dramatically, as though she had been holding in all her energy and all her pride and strength to protect herself against a guilty verdict, and now that it hadn't come she was releasing everything. She suddenly looked exhausted, and Kagome allowed her to lean against her body just as she saw Inuyasha look down at his wife with concern, sniffing the air with his sharp nose, clearly detecting something as his face hardened with concern.

Something was wrong, and Kagome didn't like it at all. Kikyou never showed weakness to anyone. Ever.

But Sesshoumaru continued to speak, and Kagome found she was drawn to what he was saying, momentarily moving away from her concern to find the Western King looking harshly at Naraku, who now seemed very alone in the world.

“While we find the Queen innocent of the charges of treason, however, we also feel that the actions of her lover, Naraku, were carefully planned in an attempt to hurt the Queen, and, through her, the King. As Kikyou is now a member of the royal family, attacking her is as treasonous as attacking her husband, and since this was deliberately done by Naraku, we find him guilty of treason and sentence him to be beheaded for his crimes in three days.” Sesshoumaru's voice was harsh, cold, and unforgiving, and Kagome thought she saw Naraku visibly shudder as his death sentence was proclaimed for all to hear.

Kikyou couldn't help but look over at her tragic lover as she heard his death sentence, and as she did so, she watched Naraku turn his head to look at her, his usual smirk still in place. She frowned, but before she could find the strength to muster a glare in return, she watched as his smirk faded, along with his very being, to be replaced instead by the fearful eyes of a man she would never, could never forget.

“Onigumo.” His name was off her lips before she even knew what was happening, and as he saw her mouth his name, he smiled a genuine smile of love, as though he accepted his fate as he saw her own fate in her eyes.

She watched as several guards came and surrounded him to escort him back to the Tower, watched and waited, knowing Naraku would never again return, wondering if he had ever truly intended to do anything other than bring about a death sentence for both lovers. She frowned and shook her head.

It was all too confusing for her, and she suddenly had a headache, and felt a coughing fit threatening to overtake her body. She paled.

No.

Not here.

She couldn't show such weakness here. She'd already given in too much by falling against Kagome and Inuyasha for support.

Yet she could feel it, that darkness, waiting to overtake her, moving in to claim her body and her life, and she couldn't prevent her body from trembling as she coughed again and again, covering her mouth and trying to hide it, but unable to avoid Kagome's sharp eyes or Inuyasha's penetrating stare.

He knew. She was sure he could probably smell it. And Kagome, at least, could see that her sister was not well, though she didn't know it was because of a disease. She no doubt thought it just a combination of raw nerves and her pregnancy.

“Kagome,” she rasped out between coughing fits.

“Oh Kikyou, what's wrong?” She asked, desperate to know, to offer her comfort, to help in any way she could. Damn it all, this was supposed to be a happy moment when she was finally free of Naraku…free of it all.

But it wasn't meant to be.

“I'm so tired, sister,” the Queen whispered, her eyes struggling to stay open as she began to fall forward in a faint.

Kagome opened her arms and caught her against her body, wrapping her arms protectively around the woman that had shielded her for so long from the rest of the world, trying to give some of that strength back now. “Kikyou?” The name escaped her lips as tears of fear began to pour out the corners of her eyes.

Behind her, the rest of the court watched, shocked by what was happening to their fallen Queen.

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