Original Poetry Fan Fiction ❯ Words ❯ It's Over ( Chapter 41 )

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It's Over
by iloveanimecartoons
Original January 12, 2008
Revision June 6, 2008
 
 
As I lay, feeling lightheaded and heavy, I think
`Wow…the breath lingers.'
The tingles still center around that area
I breathe in…and shudder
Perfume never smelled like this
Should I feel free?
More mature?
Liberated?
I guess the mind really can go blank
Random memories fly by, too rapid to discern
The central burn
Being lazy in thought? Is that what being numb is?
Staring aimlessly at the wall
As the siren's song calls
Am I too lazy to open the door?
My limbs, my head, feel empty yet leaden
Red light, green light, red light, green light, green, green, green
Yellow was ignored
In the aftermath yellow screams
 
Flashbacks of tenderness, wonder, and awe
Memories of that first tenderness
He was…so tender
I…ate him up
He…ate me up
He was very hungry my appetite was sated
I think he was starving
I think…“tapeworm”
He was so hungry, so I fed him
He didn't realize I couldn't afford a 5-course meal
His hunger was amazing and the fire was kindled
I was like a lamb on a spit, turning
Tumbling
Falling
Surrounded in his hunger
`I'm too young for such decadence,' I reflect
Feeling, emotions, sensations…awakenings
Yellow light… Yellow light… Ye—oh…my… G-green?
I was getting warmer. Could someone open a window?
No, I'm missing something
Hands… I shudder… Yellow light…green… No
Yellow light. Yes… Yellow light
He's still so hungry and I think my appetite is still whetted
Or is it just the thrill of the new on the menu?
No, I'm not hungry. It just looks good
My eyes are bigger than my stomach, as it were
Hands
It just…feels good
Lips
So…good
Touch…more personal… Yellow lights flash
“No, I-I think I'll just…skip dessert.”
Yellow lights blink rapidly
“No thanks. What I've received was more that enough to satisfy. Thank you.”
Yellow light
`How hungry can one man be?' I wonder absently
As I graciously reject his offer for indulge in his tastes
He…insists
Yellow light…r-r-red
“No, really, I'd rather not.”
Yellow…
“We can save this culinary experience for a later date.”
His hunger turns voracious as he says he can't wait
Tenderness…fades
Skin
Kiss
Must…oooh…resist…
Sensations war with awareness
I'm what's new on the menu
I don't like this meal so much
Touch taste
Grab
Pull
Yellow light! Red!
“I-I'm not hungry any more…”
But, he's famished and I'm the main course
Suddenly filet mignon is reduced to sirloin
Not so fancy a meal, it became easier to devour
I've never liked being forced to eat something I didn't like
I think I'm going to be sick
The tenderness fades
The meal I feel will be over quick
I've never been so happy to clean my plate
What an interesting was to end a dinner date
Let it end for my date is tearing me apart
Licking his chops
I can't say I share his appreciation for the course served anymore
This is no longer comfortable
Red light
Hands
Fist
Red light
Heavy breathing
Red light
Revealed
Unconcealed
Violent intrusion
Again
Red light
And again.
Red light
I'll never eat again
 
My mind blanks as I continue to take a ride I never suggested as an after-meal excursion
The red light shatters and my date leaves
The meal doesn't sit well
My stomach clenches
But the meal stays with me
Remains
And the siren's song stops
Time seemed to have elapsed since my meal
New waiters come to see to my every need
I don't remember calling on them
They bring a new, more sterile tenderness
They stare in mute shock at the remnants of the buffet
I guess I'm not so numb—I still feel that appetite in every way
No. It's not my appetite. I'll never eat again.
A meal not worth savoring
What's left of the leftovers?
I feel like thawed ground beef or chicken
The blood still trickles after that fact
Yellow, red, green, green, green
Why couldn't it's stay red?
 
As I lay in my bed and dismiss all metaphor
“He didn't stop, officer.”
That's all I can say
They escort me to the hospital with the promise that everything will be okay
I don't know…
One things's for sure
I'll never believe in tenderness again
As the siren begins anew and I'm escorted to the help that came too late
After that horrible date
All I can think, gratefully is
It's over