| "The Youkai and the Exterminator" Reviews/Comments [ 221 ] |
| Pages (15): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 › » ] |
Title: chs. 27 to 29
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2005 09:20 PST
Comment/Review:
Hm... Sesshoumaru's words about her scar seem a little emotive and flowery for what we know of him. ~~~ "that Sessh become irritated" had become ~~~ Awwwww. I thought the rumor was going to be more vengeful, but it's just Aiko trying to play matchmater. Ah well; I shall see how this unfolds. ~~~ "like something was missing that she'd taken for granted." Ah, the whole "have to be a virgin to have miko powers" thing... ~~~ Ah, Sesshoumaru. So silly. Your wife would be mad if you charbroiled her friends and ate them with broccoli raab.
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Title: Taking Bets
Reviewed By: Ithilwen NLI On: February 23, 2005 17:13 PST
Comment/Review:
"As for Sango, she was now his mate. Why would she ever want to leave?" ~~~ Ah, Sesshoumaru. Teeth so big. Brain so small.
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Title: OOpss!
Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2005 23:38 PST
Comment/Review:
Please disregard that review (erase it if you can) I clicked on the wrong story (damn mmorg) to review with that. *smacks forehead* "doofus!" *bows repeatedly* Most humble apologies.
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Title: Wouldn't let me review...for days...and I really did try.
Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2005 23:34 PST
Comment/Review:
This was a: gasped several times...squinted at it...made sure no-one was looking over my shoulder...openly shocked but secretly thinking "poetic justice" - Kind of lemon. WHEW!! (I could never write stuff like that...on one hand I'm chicken...and on the other; while I have tons of practical knowledge and book learning- I don't have any 'hands on' so to speak to draw from. I'm sure I could fabricate...but again; too chicken! LOL) I commend you for the sheer guts it takes to choreograph such a scene. *golf clap*
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Title: ch. 26
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2005 19:46 PST
Comment/Review:
Hmm... Jano has said that a strong youkai wants a strong mate, but Sesshoumaru seems to expect (and like) submission. Is it only the females who seek strength? ~~~ Heh. An excellent mix of adolescent awkwardness and expert sweet.
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Title: Up to Chapter 25
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2005 19:09 PST
Comment/Review:
In case you can't tell from my comments, I am having a great deal of trouble putting this story down. I was reading it all this morning when I should have been working, and much of this afternoon and evening when I should have been concentrating on whatever the heck my professors were saying. Anywho, overall I'd say the biggest flaw is that I don't really see how Sango loves Sesshoumaru. You've made your case for physical attraction and for fascination and gratitude, but I don't really see how she loves the guy; she just hasn't seen enough of his character to fall that hard for him. ~~~ Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, makes much more sense. He's not in love; he's just fascinated with our formidable Sango. ~~~ I imagine that Miroku would have reacted sooner and with more depth, but you're playing him as a bit more lecherous and a bit less deep than he is in the manga. It's different, but it's consistent within itself. Miroku from the manga wouldn't have accepted so readily that he'd lost Sango, but the Miroku whom you've shown us would. ~~~ Your take on Inuyasha is, similarly, consistent within itself, and closer to IC than your take on Miroku. I can totally get his mixed and conflicting reactions to Kagome and to his father's old home. ~~~ Speaking of which, I like your take on the youkai world. Sesshoumaru would take a different touch than his father, I think. You've avoided the trap of making them act exactly like Japanese humans from the period.
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Title: where art thou?
Reviewed By: Ithilwen again On: February 22, 2005 08:54 PST
Comment/Review:
"Only Barou's eyes were the color of a storm gray sea, not the incandescent gold that Sessh and his brother had both inherited from their father. Their coloring was an unusual genetic variation, quite rare among inuyoukai who tended towards darker shades of skin and hair. Although their temperaments and mannerisms were as different as Jano would have believed possible, there could be no mistake that both were the sons of Inutaisho." ~~~ Myeh? I had to read this through a couple of times before I figured that you weren't saying Barou was brother #3.
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Title: chs. 14 & 15
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 21:51 PST
Comment/Review:
Hmm... I must concur with Sesshoumaru. The ILY is a bit premature. Unless Sango said it out of the rush, then I don't get it.
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Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 19:54 PST
Comment/Review:
Sango forgives easily, doesn't she? As relieved as she'd be to see Kohaku happy and healthy, I think she'd be angry at Sesshoumaru for not telling her why he took him and making her worry like that.
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Title: chs. 9 & 10 & 11 oh my
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 18:00 PST
Comment/Review:
Oh, delicious. I keep worrying that Miroku will see Inuyasha arguing with Sango and assume that he's the reason she's been so upset, or that Kagome will see them arguing and think that she's being three-timed. ~~~ DUDE! Heh heh! So good to see this 'fic living up to some of its potential. ~~~ (waves flag) Ka-go-me! Ka-go-me! Go for the kidneys!!
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Title: ch. 6
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 17:00 PST
Comment/Review:
"Miroku whistled happily as he strode through the forest." ~~~ Heh. This is when he finds out, isn't it? Myeheheheheh! ~~~ It isn't? Okay. Cool. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heh heh heh! Make him dance, Tennseiga! DANCE, FLUFFY!! DANCE! DANCE!
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Title: chs. 5 & 6
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 14:50 PST
Comment/Review:
The dream in the beginning seems a little too lucid. It's a bit too obvious that it's a dream. ~~~ Hmm... Inuyasha's acting more evil that I'd expect. I figure he'd be mad and confused that someone he respected would take up with the brother who tortured him, but...
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Title: Ch. 3
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 13:05 PST
Comment/Review:
Sango's second-guessing is a bit of a return to IC. ~~~ Grammatical tip: Whenever a new character speaks, a new paragraph should be formed. It is almost never correct to put quotes from two different people in the same paragraph.
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Title: Ch. 2
Reviewed By: Ithilwen [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2005 12:48 PST
Comment/Review:
"Are you kidding," is a little modern for Sesshoumaru. I can't quite buy that he'd say this. ~~~ While Sesshoumaru's deviation from the typical is explained -- curiosity, odd attraction to Sango's directness -- Sango's is not. I really don't think you quite made the case for why she would do something so out of character as sleep with Sesshoumaru. I really don't see her offering him any service other than her skills as an exterminator.
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Reviewed By: morwen re On: February 21, 2005 03:47 PST
Comment/Review:
good! i don't quite understand what kikiyo was saying, but i get the gust of it! ^-^ please, please update again soon!
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| Pages (15): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 › » ] |
