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| "White Rose" Reviews/Comments [ 224 ] | | Pages (15): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 › » ] | Title: Still SWEET!!!!
Reviewed By: deipurple [MediaMiner Member] On: January 19, 2008 02:20 CST
Comment/Review:
Lil6ter: I just love this story and how it is going so far. A few typos mentioned below. I just copied the paragraph and the typo is in red. I think the first paragraph is like 14 and the next one is like 40. White Rose ~~~Chapter Six~~~ The door slowly opened to reveal Inu's wary body standing in the doorway. He slowly entered and took in her appearance as she did his. He seemed tired and sad, but she supposed that was due to her blunt rejection. Kagome took it for what it was and could tell that he was very uncomfortable with the topic at hand. That did not mean that she was going to forget it. The walls were a covered in a deep, powerful, blood red fabric from almost the floor to ceiling with a darker red diamond pattern embedded in the fabric. "You will learn things that you never dreamed of learning through this war, and you will take what you have learned to heart and use it for when you are the ruler of this country. "I know mother. I just wish that he would take me more seriously. I meant every word of what I said. I think that going through with this war is a mistake. You believe me, right mother?" ~~~~~ I have not read the entire thing to my daughter because I was reading it all night… but I took my laptop to bed and she came up to go to bed with me and wanted me to read her a story so I just started reading this story. There was not anything in it that I found too offensive for her to hear me reading. I don't think she understood the content as much as she just sleepily liked hearing my voice. She fell asleep so peacefully and I did not feel uncomfortable reading it to her. I don't mind her hearing romance and stuff but to much graphical sexual content, fighting, and other dark negative stuff makes me a little uncomfortable to read to her. Some of it I don't like to read myself. I can't say that I don't like a good lemon not and a gain but I can greatly appreciate a story that does not have them also and still be worth reading. As for those starthingys *, that is up to you, I can't see that something that is rated teen would be too much for me to just read to my daughter. She might not understand it all but if she asks questions, I don't have a difficult time explaining or discussing it to her level of understanding. My "favorite scene" is: That was why she never noticed his quick approach, ultimately ending in his hand holding her own still. `What is he doing?' her mind screamed as he took the brush out of her hand and led her over to the couch that was in the middle of the room, before forcing her to sit down on it. "Inu…"she started to question before he cut her off, "I will do it for you." He slowly ran the brush through her hair, and as much as she hated to admit it, she liked the feel of it. The way that he did it was soothing. It made her feel calm and…loved. She quickly found herself lost in his loving strokes, quicker than any of the times that she had brushed her own hair, or her mother had brushed it for her. She hated to admit it, but this feeling that overcame her was a feeling of rightness, like this was how it was supposed to be. I LOVE THIS SCENE BECAUSE I LOVE HAIR, I LOVE IT WHEN SOMEONE DOES ANYTHING WITH MY HAIR … I LOVE PLAYING WITH HAIR… LOVE GUYS WITH LONG HAIR THAT I CAN PLAY WITH… LOVE IT WHEN MY HAIR IS PLAYED WITH BY A GUY IN RETURN, SO THIS SCENE WAS AWESOME. REMINDED ME OF A TIME WHEN EX USED TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR… IT FELT SO GOOD… IT WAS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS THAT COULD SHUT ME UP AND MAKE ME FEEL SO WONDERFUL. I also have to admit that the last three lines where he is sitting on her lap and she asks him to get off is really cute too. But I feel more drawn to the hair thing. Sorry for the length of this review. It just happened...:-) Thanks Dei
| Reviewed By: Hitsugaya630 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2008 21:29 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg! Could you draw the last 3 lines of the chapter!? With Inu on Kag's lap like that. I pictuered that and it was sooo cute! Lol. really great update, love it. And I wonder how Inu is going to react when she tells him she's been having visions of him when he was human. That would be a funny chapter. lol. Please update soon and Have A Nice Day. ~_~Hitsugaya~_~
| Title: Funny
Reviewed By: Inukag-mirosan lover [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2008 19:45 CST
Comment/Review:
I really liked this chapter!(even though I kinda like all of them :)) Anyway, the end was so FUNNY!! But, wouldn't it be, like, extremely awkward to have the guy that proposed to you, and you "hate" be sitting on your lap? lol! When is she gonna find out who the prince is? Or, who inu is?
| Reviewed By: Sailor Draca [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2008 11:24 CST
Comment/Review:
One of the best Beauty and the beast stories with Inu/Kag in that I have read for a long time!!! Please write more soon!
| Reviewed By: Inukag-mirosan lover [MediaMiner Member] On: January 13, 2008 19:58 CST
Comment/Review:
This story is very creative. I love this. It was a really good idea to base it off of Beauty and the Beast. The chapters are very creative and in character. I really enjoy reading this story. You have made Kagome exactly like she is in the series. Strong, strong willed, stubborn, and smart. Inuyasha isn't exactly "himself" but it's very good!
| Title: this is SWEEET!
Reviewed By: deipurple [MediaMiner Member] On: January 13, 2008 08:07 CST
Comment/Review:
I stayed up all night reading this story. I love it and am anxious to read more. I think there are a few spelling errors that I noticed. -chap four third sentence scared .. not sacred -chap five wish not whish -chap five was wed to ... or was to be wed to? -chap five ayame tiered... tired I absolutely love this so far. I think that the lady who died and loved the white roses is his mother and Kikyou is the one that cursed him. But what happened to his father? He was mentioned in the vision the Kagome and it seemed like the announcement might have been the engagement? But it could have been some other announcement. I sort of had this really weird thought while reading earlier that the one that I think is Kikyou is Kagomes mother. Then you wrote the part about the fairtales and one not ending the same and that thought came to me again. That would be really freaky. You are a great writer and I like that it is not so well full of sex... I can actually read this outloud to my daughter, she is only three but she loves it when I read to her. So this fulfils both of our wants... mine for InuYasha and hers for hearing my voice. Yippie and thanks!! Dei Dei
| Reviewed By: Inukag-mirosan lover [MediaMiner Member] On: January 12, 2008 14:04 CST
Comment/Review:
THAT's JUST EVIL! That's so uhhhhh! Now, it's gonna be like, wierd 'cause he's gonna propose to her like every day! That's so.... awkward!! WHY?! Does he even know how to win a girls heart? He's so clueless, it's not even funny! Princes!? UGHH! Don't know anything, do they?
| Reviewed By: Crystaru-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2008 17:06 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love the writing style you have been using and how you have the characters speak! The 'thou's and all are wonderful! I am truly glad for a good fan fiction. I have been frustrated as of late because of not finding any new GOOD fan fictions, and I happen upon your story. Thank you.
| Reviewed By: Peay On: January 07, 2008 16:13 CST
Comment/Review:
I would like to say sorry I gave you the wrong email address. mine is SMSKitten@excite.com not aol. Sorry on my part for that.
| Reviewed By: Un-name On: January 07, 2008 07:03 CST
Comment/Review:
my bad. ^^; when i wrote that review, i had thought that there were more chapters up. X-X
| Reviewed By: Un-name On: January 07, 2008 07:00 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i read the prologue to this story a good while ago. i dont know if it was when you first posted it or not. but when i stumbled upon it again, i was overjoyed. i have just finished reading ch 5 and it left me in tears. i honestly feel this stinging in my heart for Inu when i read about the effect of kagome's hatred of him on his heart. i would really love to get a clearer view of his feelings tho. as of ch 5, the story has been a overviewing perspective with looks only into kagome and her father's point of view. the only two things that bother me about this story are when kagome is angry that Inu asks her to marry him after only meeting him yesterday. it certainly seems like she has known him for longer than that, but it could be my imagination. the second thing is that when first describing his castle, you said it was 80 feet wide. that is extremely small for a castle, and since you said it was enormous and from the further explanation of the interior and exterior, i would think either you made a mistake or you arent very good at imagining physical distances in your mind. mind you, im usually not good at that sort of thing, so for it to have struck me as way too small, i think it must be. keep writing, for i fear if you dont, i may go on a killing spree. =D
| Reviewed By: Peay On: January 07, 2008 01:15 CST
Comment/Review:
Very nice. Follows the plot line of Robin McKinley's works. I love both of her works on the story of Belle. I enjoy this story, it's quite good. Update soon please. If you're still looking for rooms I would suggest the Grand Parlor,Hall of Portraits,The Chapel,the great hall, smoking room,the solar,the wardrobe room,the bower,throne room,the buttery,the casemate,the place of arms,or even the oratory. These were all rooms in midevil castles. Feel free to contact me if you dont know what a room is. SMSKitten@aol.com. I do really enjoy this story and hope this helps.
| Title: Darkness
Reviewed By: Inukag-mirosan lover [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2008 20:50 CST
Comment/Review:
AH!! Don't try to get too dark please. I mean, dark is good, but fluff is just awesome. In my opinion. But, your story has both which is really good. I really like it so far. Can't wait til next chapter.
| Reviewed By: Hitsugaya630 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2008 09:47 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
haha holy crap! He asked her to marry him! *Rolling on the floor laughing* I would have half expected you to being Miroku into the story and get HIM to ask that...but thats funny. Geart update though. Love it. Keep up the work! and YAY! ONLY 2 WEEKS! *dose happy dance* YAY!
| Reviewed By: gwineveve301 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2008 00:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Slap, smack, hit 'em with a bat. It sounded good in my head. Can't believe the idiot asked her to marry him! Well at least in that regard he is staying true to character of being severely dense!
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